


Let Me Be

by SLD24



Category: One Direction
Genre: A little bit of Nouis, Blowjobs, Bondage, Butt Plugs, Collars, Daddy Kink, Dom!Harry, Dom/sub, Drinking/drugs, Fingering, I'm just gonna list some, Infidelity, M/M, Mention of abuse, Minor violence but nothing drastic, Niam - Freeform, Over stimulation, Panties, Rimming, Smut with a plot, Spanking, Sub!Louis, Top!Harry, Top!Liam, Top!Zayn, Toys, Vibrators, bottom!Louis, bottom!Niall, face riding, handjobs, larry - Freeform, mention of severe violence, there's probably more I'm missing, zouis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-05-10 11:50:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 62,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SLD24/pseuds/SLD24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson, a Dom, has always wanted to live the life of a sub for as long as he can remember. When the day comes for his pairing the unthinkable happens and he's paired with Harry Styles, another Dom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Jordan (@sweetkisseslou) because she was persistent on asking me to write it. So here it is and I hope she likes it and I hope everyone else who reads it likes it :p enjoy and please leave kudos and comments ! Thank you !

"Louissssss!" Niall obnoxiously whined from the other side of the bathroom door. "You've been in there forever!"

"I just got in."

"Nooooo," Niall drew out as if he knew exactly when Louis had gotten into bath and how long he had been in it. The water wasn't warm enough the first time so he had to drain the whole tub-bubbles and all- then fill it up again with much warmer water. He hated when he took baths and the water would gradually turn cold after ten minutes. What was relaxing about cold bath water?

"Yessssss," Louis mocked him and sank down hiding in the bubbles so only his face was visible. It's not like Niall could get in anyway, he had locked the door. He already had a traumatic experience when he was in the bath and Liam walked in on him. He would've preferred Zayn or Niall to walk in since he knew them better and liked them better. They were all flat mates and no matter how much Louis enjoyed Niall he could never enjoy it thoroughly cause Niall's Dom was Liam. And by some messed up draw of the hat- Louis was also a Dom. He hated it. 

"Well if I were tall enough I'd get the key and come in," Niall threatened and Louis could almost hear the pout in his little blonde friend's voice. Niall was one of the taller subs, about 5'8 and even that wasn't too tall. Louis was only 5'6 and somehow a Dom. He wanted that explained to him. The status is given at birth not that babies are expected to jump right into the Dom/sub lifestyle. Blood determination runs the whole system so they prick a babies finger and test it to find out their status. 

"But you aren't tall enough so you can't come in."

"What if I want to take a bath, too?"

"Then you should've taken me up on the offer earlier," Louis rolled his eyes and blew air out of his mouth to send bubbles flying. They didn't fly as high as he wished but he tried again. He located a little patch of bubbles lingering in the air and continuously blew at them trying to make them stay a float. It failed but kept him occupied. What a Dom he was...

"What if I have to pee?" 

"There's another bathroom." Louis literally groaned after that making sure Niall heard how frustrated he was. This was Louis-time, not Niall-annoy-Louis-until-he-wants-to-strangle-him time. 

"Well Zayn's in it and I have to pee really bad," he whined like a little child. He was a child. At least that's how Louis thought of him. A little, blonde, blue-eyed, cherub faced baby that was pampered with kisses and treats by his daddy. His daddy being Liam because they were into all that. Louis was into it too but didn't have anyone to be into it with. 

"Zayn will be done soon." Louis decided to just ignore the rest of Niall's questions and close his eyes. 

Niall mumbled something about Louis being stupid then wandered off probably to go tattle on him to Liam. He was sweet- Niall, not Liam- but he got annoying when he didn't get what he wanted. However, Louis imagined he'd act just as bratty if he had a Dom who treated him like a prince. Liam bought Niall everything. Literally everything. If Niall wanted a parakeet he got a parakeet. That didn't sit too well with Zayn or Louis. And through a democratic vote of 2 to 2 then a hostile tournament of rock-paper-scissors, the parakeet was returned back to the shop. Liam bought Niall a bunny the next day though. The bunny didn't last long either due to the fact Louis was allergic. He found that out through painful swelling and a trip to the ER. After that no more animals were allowed in the apartment. 

"Louis!" Jesus Christ he couldn't catch a break. 

"What?" He snapped and sat up pulling the plug a bit too aggressively. The whole thing yanked out of the hole and Louis just dropped it. Someone-not Louis-would fix it later. The water started to drain and Louis glared at the horizontal beam of light coming from under the door. He had the lights turned off in the bathroom with a few candles burning for relaxation purposes. 

"Niall has to pee and you're being selfish," Liam growled and wiggled the door handle as if that would magically open the door. 

"There's another bathroom, people, Jesus Christ," he groaned and stood up. He reached onto the counter for the cup and scooped water from the tub to rinse the bubbles off his body. His fingers and toes were like shriveled up raisins from being in the bath so long. 

"Well Zayn is taking forever and you're in our bathroom remember?"

Louis rolled his eyes and grabbed a towel not even patting himself dry. The drain in Zayn and his bathroom didn't plug so baths were non-existent in there. He didn't even bother to blow the candles out before he wrapped the towel around his waist and swung the door open. Liam was standing there with his arms crossed over his buff, hairy-ew-Louis hated hairy-chest as if he owned the whole damn world. 

"My majesty," Louis swept his arm towards the bathroom and nudged past Liam. Him and Liam never got along. 

"Maybe if you stopped worrying so much about your status as a Dom you wouldn't be so fucking bitter."

And that was why they didn't get along. Liam despised the fact that Louis despised being a Dom. He was old fashion like that and said there was no changing it. 'You were born a Dom and that's how you're gonna stay' he would tell Louis at least three times a day. 

Niall trailed behind Liam into the bathroom and the fuckers locked the door. How hypocritical. What if Louis had to pee and Zayn was still taking forever in the other bathroom? 

"Zayn open up?" Louis knocked and pushed on the door handle which actually opened the door. Zayn wasn't even on the toilet he was just shaving. "Why didn't you let Niall pee? He interrupted my bath time."

"Because you didn't take out the trash so I figured I'd annoy you," he smirked and Louis smacked him on the back of the head. Zayn simply chuckled and went back to meticulously shaving. 

"Well your mission has been accomplished. I am thoroughly annoyed." 

"Good," he said distracted with shaving now. 

Louis watched for a moment before walking up beside him. He was like a hairless cat. He liked that though. He knew Zayn and Liam had to take like ten minutes out of their day to shave. Not that Liam shaved much which Louis disliked. He wasn't fond of the whole body hair ordeal. Zayn was well-kept though. He had a happy trail but it was no where near as bad as Liam's. It was just a bit of black hair that crept out from under his waistband. He also shaved his face more than Liam but never shaved it all off. He liked it to be trimmed. 

"You aren't gonna grow hair by petting your face," Zayn smiled and watched Louis in the mirror. "You're gonna be hairless for life."

"Good, I don't want to look like a pubic mess like Liam."

"Niall's into it," Zayn shrugged. "And Liam's into whatever Niall is into."

"I know," Louis huffed and shooed his hand at Zayn like he was trying to get a fly to go away. "I wish I was like you."

"No you don't," Zayn stopped as he knew exactly what Louis meant by that. 

"You don't have anyone to please and you can just go around-"

"Stop," Zayn set his razor down and turned to face Louis. His face set like stone as his eyebrows pulled down tight against his eyes. "You have no idea how lonely I am, Louis. My sub- a person I didn't even know and will never know is gone. Dead. I didn't even get a chance and now I'm stuck. I'm one of those stupid, lonely Dom's who is gonna die alone just like my sub did."

Louis tensed up and felt his heart aching. At the age of 18 all Dom's get their blood tested to be matched with a sub, well they have a year to get tested before the government basically forces them to get tested. When Zayn went he matched with a boy named, Ryan, but Ryan died in a car accident two months prior. Zayn was three years Louis' senior so he didn't know 18 year old Zayn considering they met two years ago.

"I'm sorry...." Louis let his head fall as he knew how sensitive Zayn was on the topic. "You have me though," he forced a smile and glanced up under his eyelashes to watch Zayn loosen up but only for a second.

"Not for long," he sighed and went about cleaning the counter area. Louis turned 18 in two weeks. He wasn't ready for it and begged Zayn to let him wait the extra year but Zayn told him to grow up.

"I'm sure my- my partner." Louis hated using the term 'my sub' for reasons. He couldn't even imagine having to top let alone be dominant over someone else. He wanted to be dominated and as of now Zayn did a pretty good job. They never had sex but they did just about everything else in the book. "Im sure he wouldn't mind living here with you and Niall and Liam," Louis sighed trying to sound hopeful. Well, he was the Dom so technically he had a say in where his sub- partner would be staying. 

"Yeah," Zayn nodded and checked himself in the mirror one last time. "Want me to make some popcorn while you get ready for bed?" He asked and Louis nodded. 

Louis changed into sweatpants and no shirt as he was proud of his twink body. Bless the gods for allowing him to have such a dainty, curvy, soft sub body. Once he finished his bed time routine he crawled into Zayn's bed where he slept every night unless Zayn was home wrecking. He'd do that sometimes especially when Louis and him first met. Liam has known Zayn since first grade so he knew Zayn a whole lot better than Louis did. Liam told him that Zayn used to sleep with a bunch of subs in hopes to destroy their relationships with their Dom's since his relationship never worked out- or never had a chance to. Apparently he used to do it every night but then Louis and Zayn met at a grocery store and the home wrecking was turned down a few notches. He still does it but only once in a blue moon.

Louis had just graduated high school at 16 which is the highest schooling a person could get until their relationship was determined. Some Doms want their subs to go to college. Some Doms want to go to the same college as their subs. There are many possibilities but after high school there's a 2 year gap. They call it an exploration gap but Louis has done no exploring. Well he's explored the whole I-should-be-a-sub-not-a-Dom matter. He's been exploring that since freshman year, however. When he met Zayn, the tan, brown eyed Greek statue thought Louis was a sub. Who wouldn't? They met over the last carton of eggs which Louis got through heavy persuading and sweet talk. It was apparent that Zayn wanted a go at Louis so Louis flirted like any free sub would. Subs and Dom's who aren't assigned can fool around during the two year gap to explore their interest. Once the assignment has been made though all further engagements are cut off. The Dom and sub are tied together forever and since its determined by blood all the relationships work out. Unless of course a sub or Dom cheat but even then they can't split up. They work it out and move on or don't move on. There's no changing pairings though. 

They exchanged phone numbers and started to hang out at clubs. They'd get drunk and kiss and go back to Zayn's place for third base endeavors. Louis drew the line at sex though as he wasn't sure if a Dom could even receive. He assumed the bodies of a sub and Dom were similar but he didn't want to risk it so they stayed on third base. Louis ended up befriending Niall who was also three years older. Louis was the youngest of the bunch. Him and Liam didn't quite hit it off as easily though. Mainly because Louis hung around the apartment so much and flirted with Niall but in a sub way, like small cuddles and kisses on the cheeks. Zayn ended up inviting Louis to live with them and that's where he's been for the past two years. 

Eventually, Louis confessed to Zayn that he was a Dom. He expected to be kicked out but Zayn said he wasn't gonna discriminate Louis' mental choice to want to be a sub. If Louis felt more comfortable as a sub then Zayn was going to treat him as one. When Liam found out Louis nearly lost a very specific appendage because Liam thought he had been sleeping with Niall. Which wasn't a false accusation. Louis and Niall had messed around a few times too many but no sex. Neither of them confessed to it so Liam let Louis slide. Then when Niall found out he couldn't care less and things went back to normal. 

"What movie?" Zayn asked flipping through the Netflix options. The bowl of popcorn sat in his lap as Louis was snuggled against his side. They pretended their paired together but neither of them /feel/ the connection of a true pairing. Zayn will never know what it feels like and Louis will know what it feels like in two weeks. 

"Do we have to watch a movie?"

"Well I made popcorn and you agreed to the popcorn which by default means you agreed to a movie," Zayn smirked and picked up a piece of popcorn popping it into Louis' open mouth. 

"Maybe I just wanted popcorn," Louis said and grabbed a handful. He put a few pieces into his mouth then kept the rest on his palm. 

"I'll pick out a movie then," Zayn said with his attention already on the screen. Louis munched on the popcorn and examined Zayn's face. He was honestly hand carved by Aphrodite. She probably sat there and delicately created each flawless piece that put together made the master piece titled, Zayn Malik. She had to have gotten his eyes from melting gold and bronze. And his skin was most definitely formed using some form of cocoa powder. His cheekbones were most likely marble stone and not actually bones. He was the Mona Lisa of the 21st Century, Louis swore to it. 

"Can I ask you something?" Louis bit his lip after he had finished eating the handful of popcorn and Zayn picked out a movie. He picked Pulp Fiction which Louis had only seen bits of pieces of since Zayn watched it all the time. Louis preferred softer movies with less violence and more love or tears. It really depended on his mood. 

"Hmm?" Zayn asked through a mouthful of popcorn. 

"So like- I know I usually-"

"Where is this going?" Zayn looked over at Louis with that look in his eye telling Louis that he already knew what Louis was gonna say. Louis was quite predictable. 

"Um-I- past third base," he mumbled then looked down at the bowl of popcorn. He was hoping saying third base made it less awkward but it made him sound even more stupid. 

"You told me no and I'm not sure where that would even fall from a legal aspect," Zayn sighed and set the bowl on the nightstand table. He sat up a bit more against the headboard then pulled Louis onto his lap. Louis' legs rested on either side of Zayn's hips and he let out a deep breath. 

"Well I don't think there's a law against it," Louis gulped and played with his fingers nervously. "And we couldn't get caught anyway."

"If I hurt you then yeah we'd be caught," Zayn shot back but gently. A gentle shot. Like a flick. 

"I just- I want to know if- I want to at least try before I'm damned to a life as a Dom."

"You've already been damned, Lou," Zayn whispered and rubbed Louis' thighs which made him weak. 

"I still have two weeks of exploring and I want to explore this," he tried again. Zayn tilted his head and watched Louis' eyes. He couldn't tell what Zayn was looking for but he knew he was thinking. His eyes moved around a lot when he thinks and that's exactly what those golden-brown spheres of beauty were doing. 

Zayn didn't respond with a yes or no he responded with his hand on Louis' chin and his lips on Louis'. 

Louis couldn't help but widen his eyes and then melt into Zayn's gentle touch. Their lips moving together perfectly in sync like they've been practicing everyday-well they do kiss everyday. Zayn shifted his weight under Louis and used his free hand to hold onto Louis' now gyrating hips. 

"Is the door locked?" Louis whispered before returning to suck on Zayn's bottom lip. Zayn hummed something and Louis took it as an 'I don't know and I don't care.' They've walked in on Niall and Liam before so it was an uncommon occurrence.

Zayn parted Louis' lips more and slid his tongue into his friend's mouth. Louis always adored the way Zayn kissed. He would start slow with soft pecks then teasingly part his lips before actually diving his tongue into Louis' awaiting mouth. Their tongues circling in a heated motion as Louis was a Dom so he always had an instinct to dominate- of course he tried to push those feelings aside. Whenever Louis started to show signs of dominance Zayn would flip them over and pin Louis down. His hand locked Louis' hands above his head onto the mattress while his other hand did the exploring. Louis felt his cock gradually filling as he could come from foreplay if he allowed himself to. Especially when Zayn was aggressive. 

Louis dragged his fingers down Zayn's back locating the hem of his t-shirt and yanking up on it. Zayn sat up and slipped the shirt off over his head throwing it somewhere on the floor. Louis took in the godly creation of Zayn's tattooed chest and his muscular- but no abs- torso. His hand reached down from Zayn's grasp and started to palm Zayn through his sweatpants making the older boy moan with pleasure. Louis knew all of Zayn's turn-ons and Zayn knew all of Louis'. 

"Which way do you want to do this?" Zayn asked kissing down Louis' soft neck before locating his sensitive spot. It wasn't behind his ear but a little further down. He loved being marked so Zayn intended to leave a lovely dark purple hickey. 

"I don't know yet," Louis breathed and kept his hand massaging Zayn's thick cock. His head tilted back giving ample room for Zayn's lips to do their dirty work on his skin. "Just let it happen," he breathed out then scrunched his face up feeling Zayn's teeth grazing his neck. 

Louis moved his hand down to grope himself but Zayn was quick to shoot down that action. He grabbed Louis' wrist and pinned it above his head again. The weight of Zayn's body now pressing into Louis and he slightly parted his legs. He moaned softly as Zayn began grinding into Louis' groan. Both of their aching cocks pushing into each other driving Louis wild. He whimpered and wiggled his hands to get out of Zayn's grasp but the locks wouldn't budge. 

"Let go," Louis groaned and Zayn shook his head moving his lips to crack back into Louis' and shut him up. They sloppily made out and rolled their bodies together until Louis couldn't take it anymore. "I need you," he begged and tilted his head back. He needed to know what it felt like to be filled up. To have a cock inside of him that wasn't glass or silicone. "Fuck...please," he breathed out and he felt Zayn shift on top of him. 

Zayn sat up and reached over into the dresser for lube as he knew he'd only have to finger Louis a little bit because the poor boy fucks himself almost twice a day. 

"Are you a virgin, Lou?" Zayn asked and Louis felt his face go red. He was. He's never been fucked beside with toys and his fingers and he's never fucked someone else. The thought of that made him sick. "Answer me."

"Yeah," Louis admitted shyly and looked down like he had committed the worse crime in the world and was going to jail. 

"I-Lou- look at me," Zayn sighed and Louis slowly moved his eyes up to watch Zayn. The older boy was frowning and Louis felt uneasy and embarrassed. He just wanted to have sex and get it over with. He knew that whatever sub he was matched with would probably hate him because he's never Dom'd before but he didn't care about that. He just wanted to be fucked and controlled before he'd never have the chance to. "I can't- I don't want to take your virginity," Zayn gulped and Louis narrowed his eyebrows. 

"This isn't- this isn't some movie, Zayn," Louis mumbled. "I don't care if I lose it and I- subs and Doms lose their virginity before their paired all the time."

"I know but- but like we're really good friends and-"

"We've done everything but have sex. It's no different."

"But what if- what if you really like it and don't- what if you like it so much that when you get paired with a sub you'll hate being a Dom even more. If we do this you're gonna fall in love with being a sub I just know you will. You'll want to stay with me and abandon your sub."

Louis stayed quiet and looked down at his chest. Zayn was right. Zayn's always right. Louis was a Dom not a sub. He'll never be a sub. 

"I just- I just wanted to know what it felt like," Louis frowned feeling a lump forming in his throat. He's got two weeks to be a sub and this was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to have sex as a bottom and experience the whole sub life. 

"I know that but don't you think if we do this you'll enjoy it so much you won't want to ever top?"

"I guess," Louis mumbled not wanting to say too much or else he'd break down crying. It was so frustrating. 

"I'm sorry Lou, I really- if the whole Dom/sub system didn't exists I would've had sex with you like a billion times already," Zayn admitted which made Louis feel a little bit better. At least he knew Dom's could be attracted to other Dom's. "And I- I care about you a lot so I don't want to mess your life up by guiding you towards the wrong path."

"I know," Louis frowned still refusing to make eye contact. 

"Your sub is gonna be really lucky you know?" Zayn tried lightening the mood but Louis wasn't having it. 

"He's gonna hate me."

"Don't say that," Zayn frowned and moved to lay beside Louis pulling the boy's back against his chest. His arms snaking around Louis' small body and hugging him close. "Who knows, maybe your sub actually wants to be a Dom."

"Don't get my hopes up, Z," Louis sniffled and the tears started to blur the bottom half of Louis' vision. He never really thought about a sub wanting to be a Dom until just now. That could happen right? Louis wanted to be a sub so there could be a vice versa situation out there. It was a long shot but it was a shot. He hated himself though. He's always hated his mind for wanting to play a role that was made for him. It was just so confusing because he had Dom instincts to take control but he never got off on that. It made him feel weird and uncomfortable. But when Zayn had him pinned down or up against a wall he felt alive. He got that swarm of butterflies in his tummy and his legs would get all tingly. He'd actually pre-come from being controlled. Zayn tried to let Louis be dominant over him one day but Louis continuously resorted back to being a bottom. He couldn't even get hard when he was on top of Zayn. The only way he got hard was by pretending to be riding Zayn. It frustrated him and he hated it. He hated it so much he wish he could just go find Ryan's dead body, swab his blood and switch that sample for his sample in the testing room. That way he'd end up with Zayn. 

Louis felt Zayn's thumb reach up and slowly swipe across his face to rid his cheeks of the tears that were not falling. Tears of frustration and anger. 

"Love you," Zayn whispered and kissed the top of Louis' head. 

"Love you too," Louis whispered back and closed his eyes trying to stop the tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis startled awake that night from the gusting winds bashing against the thin windows. Zayn was sleeping; looking as beautiful as Snow White so Louis gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Except Zayn didn't magically wake up like a princess would, he just mumbled something then turned away. Louis sat up and heard his stomach grumbling so he checked to see if Zayn had eaten all the popcorn in which he had. Great. Louis slid out of bed, careful not to wake sleeping beauty then tip toed out into the living area. All the lights were off except the little plug in night-light in the hall for when someone needed to get up and pee. Like Louis, except he was getting up to get food not to pee. 

He shuffled slowly into the pitch black, silent kitchen and flipped the light on. He let out a loud scream then covered his mouth not to wake Liam or Zayn. 

"Jesus Christ, Niall," Louis said in relief as he was sitting on the floor in the dark eating Nutella with saltine crackers. "You scared me," he breathed out feeling the pulse in his neck with two fingers to make sure he wasn't gonna have an attack. 

"Sorry," he smiled softly and shoved a cracker into his mouth. "Want some?" He asked motioning to his late night snack. 

"I though Liam said you weren't allowed to have chocolate cause it made your face break out?" Louis sat down beside Niall and was handed a saltine with Nutella spread on top. 

"I only get a spot or two," he shrugged and made himself another cracker. "And what he doesn't know won't hurt him," he smiled softly popping the snack into his mouth. Niall was never not smiling. Louis had quite the sweet tooth as did Niall but Liam made sure Niall didn't eat too many sweets. He monitored him while Louis on the other hand had free reign on what he ate. Perks of being a Dom...

"Is that annoying?" Louis asked after chewing the salty-sweet snack. "Having to like have rules?" He's always known how he feels about being a sub in bed but sometimes he's a bit weary towards the whole life rules. For example, Niall is limited on sweets, he's only allowed to take a shower with Liam, he can't leave the house without Liam's permission, his friends have to be approved-Louis being the exception, and he isn't allowed to cuss. Louis has no idea how he would manage not to cuss but he won't ever have that problem cause he's a fucking Dom. 

"I like it," Niall shrugged. "It makes me feel- special. Like he actually cares because the rules are for my own good."

"Even the no cussing?"

"Keeps me proper."

"Bullshit," Louis rolled his eyes. 

"You'd like it. I see the way you act around Zayn and you're a perfect sub," Niall smiled shyly but he meant every word. 

Louis felt his tummy turn and heart flutter a bit at the thought of being a perfect sub. Especially since another sub said it to him. He's fought past the Dom instincts and has proven himself worthy to sub or at least to Zayn and Niall he's proven himself. 

"I'm scared," Louis admitted and leaned back against the counter. "My whole life I'm gonna be stuck as a Dom with a sub who I won't even get off on. I'm gonna ruin his life."

Niall frowned and watched his friend gradually beat himself up. He set the box and small tub of Nutella on the floor to scoot closer to Louis. Out of instinct Louis held his arm open and allowed Niall to rest his head on his shoulder as Louis' arm draped around him. 

"You'll be okay," Niall whispered and looked up at Louis with big blue eyes. If Zayn's eyes were crafted by Aphrodite then Niall's eyes were created by Poseidon using the bluest water known to man. 

"Thanks Ni," he whispered and tilted his head to rest on the blonde head of hair pillow. Niall snuggled into Louis more and wrapped his small little arms around Louis' waist. Louis raised an eyebrow and kissed the top of Niall's head. "Liam would kill me if he saw us," Louis chucked nervously but came to think that dying would be better than being a Dom for life. He let the thought fly away as he had no intentions of dying. He had Zayn and Niall and he couldn't just abandon them like that for his own selfishness. 

"He's a deep sleeper," Niall shrugged and closed his eyes. "And you're a much better pillow by the way," he giggled softly. It was the kind of a giggle a little kid makes after they just found out a secret. The secret being that little Joey kissed little Sally behind the slide. A giggle like that. Full of innocence. Louis sighed and closed his eyes as well. His thoughts spinning in circles and zig zags and swirls and it was a mess. He even thought about being Niall's Dom if he had to think about being a Dom. He'd want Niall. He'd let the kid- despite him being older- do whatever the hell he wanted. Liam can take Louis' sub. 

"Ni?" Louis whispered as he heard a soft snore. Fuck. Louis slowly turned his head downward to see Niall fast asleep. He must have really been thinking. Louis slowly got up and laid Niall on the floor. He cleaned up the Nutella and cracker box; putting them back into the pantry. He'd carry Niall to bed but then Liam would wake up. He sighed and kneeled down gently shaking Niall's shoulder. "Pssst, wake up," he whispered and poked his little chubby cheek that had two freckles cutely located on it. "Niall?" He groaned and pulled open one of his eyelids to reveal the white of Niall's eye. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Louis swore he jumped out of his skin. He didn't even get a chance to turn around before Liam was yanking him to his feet and pinning him against the counter. He winced as the hard countertop pushed into his lower back. 

"We were both hungry," Louis explained and heard Niall waking up. "We didn't do anything if that's what you're wondering."

Liam scowled at Louis and Louis gave it right back. "If I- god I would kill you by now if you weren't friends with Niall," he threatened and shoved Louis hard against the counter. 

"Stop it," Niall whined and tugged on Liam's bicep with both of his tiny hands. "I'm tired," he pouted and his eyes turned into the biggest pair of puppy eyes Louis had ever seen. 

"Did he touch you, babe?" Liam cooed and examined Niall's face and arms. 

"No I'm okay," Niall whispered softly and Louis stood up straight holding his lower back. There would definitely be a bruise. He scrunched his face up when Liam pressed his lips to Niall's. 

"Get a room," Louis grumbled and side stepped past Liam. However, he didn't make it very far before he was pinned back against the counter. 

"Listen here you fucking twat. This is my house, my sub, my rules I can do whatever the fuck I please and I don't need your bitter ass comments all the time. Grow the fuck up and realize you'll never be a fucking sub. It won't ever happen. It's a pathetic, delusional fantasy that you need to get over!"

Louis felt his breathing pick up and he just watched in a horrified daze as Liam backed off then disappeared with Niall. Louis felt like he was going to throw up. He was delusional. This was all in his head. Everything was. He was a Dom. He was wired to be one and the wiring could never be changed even if he thought a wire or two were faulty. Who was he kidding? Everything was wired perfectly and he was just trying to live some drawn out fantasy. 

"Lou!" Zayn widened his eyes and kneeled down beside the sobbing boy who was holding his back. "Are you alright?" He asked and Louis just lifted his shirt to let Zayn access the damage on his back. "What? What happened? Here sit up, talk to me baby," he cooed and gently helped Louis sit up. They sat so Louis was between Zayn's leg and his back was rested against Zayn's chest. It was much softer than resting it back against the cabinet. 

"I'm living in a delusion," Louis hiccuped and wiped his tears. Twice. Twice tonight he's cried over this. He's never cried over it before, he's simply only got frustrated over it but his pairing test was approaching fast. Two weeks and he'd be a Dom. A real official Dom with a real official sub to look after. 

"No you aren't. You're just different. No you aren't even different you're just Louis. You're you and if you want to be a sub then be a sub I won't ever stop you. The world may try but there's gotta be a loop hole or something right? I know your a Dom and I know you're going to be paired with a sub but if the whole blood test works as the say it does they'll pair you with someone just as accepting as me," Zayn whispered and he kept his lips pressed right against Louis' ear the whole time. He was right. Once again, Zayn Malik was right. 

Louis couldn't pretend like he didn't enjoy being a sub. He loved it. He thrived for it. It was who he was and he couldn't just change that. He'd get the test taken and be matched with a sub. He'd be with that person the rest of his life and if his sub didn't accept him then so be it. It wasn't Louis' fault for how he thought. 

Louis' back only ended up being minorly bruised and healed within a week. Zayn made Louis ice it a lot which helped tremendously. Eventually, Louis told Zayn about the night in the kitchen and everything Liam had said. He wasn't sure but he assumed Liam's black eye came from Zayn's fist. He loved Zayn. He really did. He respected him, accepted him, cared for him, and even loved him back. Louis was Zayn's Ryan and they both knew that in one week they'd have to stop. They couldn't be pretend Dom and sub anymore. 

"Louis!!! Happy Birthday!!" Niall nearly broke Louis' legs when he jumped onto the bed. Louis groaned and was smothered in kisses all over his face which surprised him but they stopped a millisecond before Liam stepped in. He had been much nicer to Louis over the past few days and he assumed it was because of whatever Zayn talked to him about. Or maybe Zayn punched the meanness out of Liam because his eye sure was a shiner. 

"Happy birthday," Liam grumbled and held out a small vanilla cupcake decorated with pink icing and chocolate sprinkles. Louis looked up at Liam who was obviously forced to participate by Niall and returned a soft smile as a thank you for the treat. Liam left immediately after that. 

"I made it for you last night while Zayn had you distracted playing monopoly," Niall beamed as if it was his proudest accomplishment. Louis thought about last night and remembered no monopoly only naked bodies and a lot of heavy, dirty, wet kissing. Speaking of Zayn, Louis had no idea where he was. He wasn't in the bathroom because the light was off and he wasn't anywhere in the bedroom- his own bedroom. 

"It looks delicious," Louis smiled and Niall inched off of him so he could sit up. "Where's Z?" He asked starting to take the cupcake paper off of the bottom. 

"Oh," Niall giggled sweetly and Louis raised his eyebrow. "He's in the living room with goodies,"" he smiled then scurried off of Louis and darted out of the room with his hands over his mouth as if he wasn't allowed to say. Louis smiled at the thought of presents and licked the icing and sprinkles off. His teeth stained slightly pink but he'd brush them later. He had gifts to open. He slipped on one of Zayn's hoodies then shuffled out of the room and down the hall to the living room. 

"Happy birthday!" Zayn and Niall yelled in unison. Louis lit up seeing balloons and a bunch of boxes wrapped with bows on them. He was thankful Liam wasn't here to be a party pooper. 

"Happy birthday my love," Zayn smiled and hugged Louis tight quickly being joined by another set of arms because Niall loved hugs. Zayn pulled away and took Louis' hand leading him to sit down on the couch. Zayn sat on one side and Niall on the other. "We got you presents," he smirked and Louis was overjoyed. He's celebrated birthdays with Zayn and Niall before but nothing like this. 

"Oh can he open this one first?" Niall held out a small little box. It said to Louis from Zayn and Niall. He allowed his eyes to scan over the rest of the boxes noticing most of them were from the both of them except one was from just Zayn. A small tiny box that could fit into the palm of his hand. 

"No snooping," Zayn gently smacked Louis' arm and handed him a box. Louis chuckled and untied the ribbon eagerly ripping open the paper to reveal a box. He raised his eyebrow and removed the lid. 

"Do you like them?" Niall squealed and he was pressed against Louis so he could see into the box. Louis felt is face turn red as he gently pulled out the delicate baby blue lace panties. They were gorgeous. The front was solid silk and the rest was see through lace with small bows on each hip that had a small diamond in the center. 

"They're stunning," Louis grinned and gently sat them on his thigh. Another box was thrusted at him and he opened that. Another pair of panties. He gulped and held them up seeing that it was a black thong. All lace. There was just a string in the back that would leave his entire ass on show. "Wow," he breathed. Three more boxes followed. He opened them all and now had a collection of panties. Except one was a comfy looking pair of pink boy shorts with the Victoria Secret brand written across the white and black elastic of the waistband. He'd definitely be sleeping in all of these. 

"Niall picked out the next thing," Zayn said and he sounded a bit embarrassed as Niall happily handed Louis a shoe box sized gift. Louis gently shook it and heard something shift inside. He ripped open the paper and lifted the lid. A pair diamond hand cuffs stared him in the face. 

"Don't you like them!?" Niall smiled and Louis picked them up feeling how heavy they were. They'd definitely leave marks on his wrists if he ever got around to using them. Fuck he wanted to use them right now. 

"They're great Niall, thank you," he smiled and kissed Niall on the cheek. 

He was handed the next box which was the third to last one and quite large. He took his time opening it as he wanted to open all these sub gifts forever. 

"Now we know you already own a few but we figured you'd want some new ones," Zayn explained and Louis opened the box revealing three new butt plugs and one expensive looking glass dildo. 

Louis was way past embarrassment at this point. He didn't even care that his two best friends were buying him clear glass dildos with a cute heart on the end he would hold. He was overjoyed. Zayn went about explaining each plug as one was remote control due to the fact it vibrated. It was silicone and a plain lilac but it was so so pretty and Louis couldn't wait to use it. The other two were made of glass as Louis had a glass fetish. He loved feeling the smooth, cold glass slide into him. Especially if he allowed the glass to sit in the freezer for a few minutes. He loved to feel it defrosting inside of him. 

"Niall also picked this one out because he swore it was so very much you," Zayn said and handed Louis a small box. About the size of his hand if all his fingers were sprawled out. He gently shook it again and heard a tiny bell which made Niall shift with excitement. Louis opened up the gift and widened his eyes. In the box was a baby blue collar with white lace trim accompanied by a small little bell on the front. Louis had no idea why Niall thought of him when he saw the collar but he loved it. Zayn must have told Niall how secretly cutesy Louis was because his personality sure didn't show it. Not that Niall didn't know from all their cuddle sessions and kisses but still he was glad his friends had him figured out to a T. 

"I love it," Louis breathed out and didn't hesitate to unclip it and hand it to Zayn. He wanted to make sure it fit. Zayn gentle secured it around Louis' neck and Niall lit up. 

"You're so adorable!" He smiled and tilted Louis' chin up to examine it. 

"Very sexy," Zayn whispered into Louis' ear making him blush. Zayn bit Louis' ear lobe then slowly released it driving Louis mad. He kept the box on his lap for reasons. He was surprised the box didn't gradually lift up that's how aroused Louis got by Zayn biting his ear. "One more gift," Zayn said and reached over to get the small box Louis had been eyeing up earlier. Zayn smiled shyly, which was odd because Zayn doesn't get shy and handed Louis the box. 

Louis slowly slid the ribbon off careful not to rip it as Zayn likes to reuse ribbons if he can unknot them. He steadily lifted the lid and felt tears start to well up behind his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat and delicately picked up the silver bracelet. 

"Zayn," he cooed and looked at Zayn then back to the bracelet. It was a small silver band with a little Z pendent hanging from it. Underneath still sitting in the box was a Polaroid picture from one of the first nights Zayn and Louis met. They were both drunk but it was the first picture they'd taken together. Louis had on sunglasses and was smiling all wide, his cheeks ready to fall off and Zayn had his arm wrapped around him like he was gonna lose him forever. 

"I found the picture in my old wallet and figured you'd want it," Zayn explained and his hand was rested on Louis' back. "I made a copy of it for myself so don't worry about that."

"I love it. I love it all so much," Louis whispered and carefully slipped the bracelet on. The Z dangled from his wrist and he threw his arms around Zayn. "I love you," he smiled into Zayn's neck. 

"I love you too," Zayn smiled and rubbed Louis' back. "You don't have to wear it all the time but I just- I thought maybe one day when we possibly don't live together you'd have it to remember me."

"I'll always remember you Zayn," Louis grinned. "And I will wear it all the time I can promise you that," he declared and felt Niall grab his wrist to examine it. 

"It's so pretty," Niall said in awe.

"It is isn't it?" Louis smiled. "I'm never taking it off, ever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave kudos and comments!! Thank you lovelies! And Harry will be arriving shortly ;)


	3. Chapter 3

They all went out to dinner that night as celebration which Louis was thankful for. It meant he had one more night to himself without a sub. Zayn said he'd go with Louis to the testing facility which made Louis feel better but also sick because he'd be assigned and have to tell Zayn. He'd basically be telling Zayn that they were breaking up-not that their dating-so Louis could go fall in love with someone he didn't even know. 

Liam behaved at dinner and even let Niall enjoy some of Louis' birthday cake that was delivered to him via singing waitresses and waiters. It was all very cute and Louis was content. He was content having dinner with his best mates because it kept him distracted from the next morning's punishment. He called it a punishment because it was. He'd be a Dom for life. 

"Do I have to look nice?" Louis grumbled from under the blankets. Zayn was already up and getting ready even though Louis knew he didn't want to be. He was only up because God forbid Zayn goes out in public looking homeless. 

"No," Zayn said and Louis peaked over the blanket to watch Zayn moving around. He kept making himself distracted with something whether it be re-buttoning his shirt or adjusting the cologne bottle to face a certain way on the dresser. Last night was horrible. 

They cuddled in bed for so long and talked and cried about everything. Even Zayn cried because he was losing his Louis. He kept calling Louis 'his Louis' because that's how it had been for two years. And even this morning both of them were choked up. 

"Liam made your appointment for 10:30," Zayn said and rolled his sleeves then unrolled them. Louis assumed Liam made the appointment because Zayn couldn't bring himself to do it. Louis glanced at the clock and it read 9:30 so he had about 20 minutes to get ready. They always liked the patients to be at the facility early. He forced himself out of bed and walked past Zayn who turned away immediately. He was crying. Louis knew he was crying. Louis sighed and glanced over his shoulder seeing Zayn wiping at his eyes. It broke Louis' heart. Louis was all Zayn had and now he's gonna be alone again. All alone with no one to cuddle with or watch movies with-even though Louis never watched the movies. He was gonna be sitting alone going through bills now, cooking dinner by himself. He wouldn't have anyone to kiss. Louis couldn't imagine having no one to kiss. He looked forward to Zayn's good morning and good night kisses everyday. 

"Maybe I could just wait the extra ye-"

"No Louis," Zayn snapped and Louis looked down knowing they had to get this over with. He heard Zayn take in a deep, shaky breath then exhale slowly. "We might as well get it over with so our hearts don't have to ache for another year."

"Mine will be aching when we aren't together."

"That's the thing though Louis, we aren't together and we never will be. So if we just get this over with maybe by some miracle you'll just- you'll fall in love with your sub and I'll- I'll find something in life worth living for so our hearts don't hurt for each other."

Louis just stared at Zayn and felt his heart being stabbed. He was right. They'll never be together and never really were. God Zayn's always right! Louis bowed his head and turned around to get himself ready. 

"Good luck Louis," Niall beamed and Liam let go of Niall's shirt to allow him to hug Louis. He wasn't sure why he was being wished good luck but he could use some of Niall's happiness right now. Zayn and him haven't spoken a word to each other ever since the short conversation in the bedroom. 

"Thanks Ni," he forced a soft smile and kissed Niall's head. He didn't care Liam was watching. He didn't care if Liam wanted to kill him right now. 

"You'll be back in time for lunch, too. Liam and I are gonna cook up something real good," he nodded. Louis smiled in response and turned to face the door which was held open by Zayn. Niall and Liam would just continue their perfect Dom/sub life while Louis' life was falling apart. 

"Come on, love," Zayn whispered and motioned outside. Louis waved bye to Niall and stepped out of the apartment. He felt like he was leaving forever but he wasn't. He'd get his assignment then get the contact information of his sub who he would have to call right there in the testing room. If the sub didn't answer he'd have to go back to the testing facility to call again. It was all procedure to make sure the Dom actually contacted the sub to work out arrangements. 

The two walked out to Zayn'a car and as always Zayn opened the door for Louis. Louis took note as he would have to start doing that for his sub. The drive was 20 minutes down winding roads that were located between sets of trees. The facilities were always hidden away like some sort of prison. At least that's what Louis thought of it as.

"You're still gonna live with us right?" Zayn eventually spoke up once he parked the car in front of the building. It was all brick with a bunch of windows, about three stories high. Prison. Louis definitely saw this place as a prison. Or a torture chamber where they banish people into living lives they don't want to live.

"Of course," Louis nodded as he had no intentions of leaving Zayn. "Unless you don't-"

"Of course I do Louis. I want you to stay but I- I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal with you being with someone else," he admitted and Louis' stomach lurched. He closed his eyes and curled his toes praying Zayn didn't say it. He heard Zayn let out a deep breath then unlock the car. "Cause like- cause I'm in love with you Louis."

Louis didn't even hesitate to get out of the car. He couldn't take this. He couldn't. Zayn made it all worse. He worked so hard to try and let go and now Zayn was pulling him back down. He stormed away from the car and to the sidewalk. 

"Louis stop! You know I- I had to let you know," Zayn pleaded and grabbed Louis' arm before he could get inside. The two facing each other outside of the double doors. 

"No you didn't. You could've just- God why couldn't you just say you hated me!?" Louis yelled then turned and got smashed in the face when the door opened. 

"Fuck," a voice cursed and slid out of the door that probably just broke Louis' nose. He glanced at Zayn then to Louis who was holding his nose. Zayn rushed to Louis and gently removed the boy's hands from Louis' face to see if it was bleeding. It was. 

"Is he okay?" The man asked and looked over Zayn's shoulder. Well he didn't really need to look over it cause he was taller than Zayn. And a lot taller than Louis. He was- wow. Scratch Zayn being hand carved by Aphrodite this guy was. He had dangerously poisoning green eyes, a perfectly set of pink bowed lips, his hair was a godly mess of brown curls and swirls. 

"I'm okay," Louis nodded and just stared at the man. He didn't even care his nose was bleeding. He felt his stomach knot up and his mind got all fuzzy except for the image of this man in front of him. 

"Your nose is bleeding," the man said and Louis snapped out of whatever trance he was just put in. Zayn was already pulling Louis' shirt collar up to hold to his nose. "There's nurses inside I'm sure they can-" the man started then paused when his eyes met Louis'. Louis felt more butterflies or more like a fire breathing dragon in his stomach. His throat tightened up and his heart felt about ready to implode. "Do I know you?" The man tilted his head and examined Louis who probably looked like a mess. He didn't spend anytime on his hair, he had bags under his eyes from not sleeping much, his eyes were also probably puffy from crying and he was covered in blood from his nose down. 

"I don't think so," Louis mumbled then closed his mouth as the taste of blood repulsed him. 

"Alright let's get you inside," Zayn ushered Louis into the building and Louis felt the man's eyes on his back. Even when the door closed Louis could still feel the set of green emeralds digging into him. Zayn found the bathroom and helped Louis to get cleaned up which didn't take long. They checked out Louis' nose but it didn't seem broken, probably only bruised or something- neither of them were certified doctors so they assumed he was okay. 

"He didn't even apologize," Zayn grumbled and slid his jacket off to give it to Louis to zip-up and cover his bloody shirt with. 

"It was an accident," Louis said and stood at the mirror fixing his hair just in case the mystery man of all things beautiful was out there. Zayn stayed quiet and watched Louis prep himself. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Louis mumbled feeling a drastic change in the atmosphere. 

"For saying I'm in love with you. I just-I wanted you to know before you fell in love with your sub."

Louis looked down at the sink and sighed heavily. He knew Zayn was in love with him and he was in love with Zayn but he tried for so long to ignore it. He never even thought about it that much anymore until Zayn said it out loud. 

"I was in love with you, too."

"Was?" Zayn whimpered like he just got shot. Louis gulped and put his hands on the sink. Zayn said they had to get this over with. 

"Yeah, was," he nodded and stepped back walking out of the bathroom. 

Louis didn't hear Zayn follow him so he confusingly wondered out of the bathroom. He walked out of the hall and a hand grabbed him nearly yanking him to the front desk. 

"Get tested now," the man from earlier snapped at him like he was on some sort of save-the-world mission.

"What? I am, I am," Louis took his arm back and glared at the tall man who looked like he was in a frenzy. 

"Hey lady," he snapped and tapped the bell on the desk to get the front desks lady's attention.

"You could say excuse me," Louis mumbled under his breath and crossed his arms. 

The man ignored him and Louis watched as the lady took her time walking over to them; clearly annoyed with the man's attitude. 

"What are you here for?" She asked and chewed on her gum. The man was attractive until he opened his mouth. 

"He's getting tested."

"Does he have an appointment?" 

"I guess."

"I do," Louis chimed in and shot a glare at the man. 

"Name?" 

"Louis Tomlinson," he answered back and saw the man shift beside him like his name made him uneasy or something. 

"Your appointment is in 15 minutes," she responded. "Fill these out," she handed Louis a clipboard of papers and a pen. 

"15? Can't you just do it now? His nose was already bleeding, just take that blood."

"Jesus Christ, calm down," Louis snapped at the man then walked to sit down. The man followed him and sat right beside him. Where was Zayn? Louis started to fill out his name and birthday and medications etc... "Um- do you mind?" Louis turned the clipboard away as the man was staring at it. 

"Just hurry up," the man groaned and leaned back tapping his foot impatiently on the ground. Louis gave him a weird look as this man was definitely on drugs. It's always the pretty ones... 

Zayn shuffled out from the hall and Louis watched as he also gave the man a weird look. He sat on the other side of Louis and pursed his lips. 

"I'm gonna wait in the car okay?" He whispered and Louis felt his heart sink more. He didn't want to be left alone with the psychotic beauty but he didn't think he could handle Zayn moping around. 

"Alright," Louis nodded and watched Zayn leave. Louis finished filling out the paper and handed the clipboard back to the front desk lady who told him she would be with him shortly which ultimately meant a ten minute wait. Louis sat down a few seats away from the man this time. Which didn't do him any justice because the man just kept staring at him? "Do I have something in my teeth?" Louis confronted the man. 

"No," he shook his head. 

"Then stop staring, it's rude."

"It's also rude you haven't been tested yet," he grumbled under his breath. 

"What's that supposed to mean? I literally just turned 18 yesterday."

The man looked up and squinted his eyes at Louis. Louis didn't look away and felt those butterflies again. Why were they even out? The man looked away first which made Louis do a little victory dance inside of his head. 

"Well I've been waiting four years for you to get tested," he spoke up and Louis raised his eyebrow. 

"I still don't know what that means."

"I got tested when I was 18 and matched with you. Your a Dom, I'm a Dom. That doesn't happen. They told me it was a glitch in the system or something so every year I come back hoping you got tested and got matched with someone so you're out of the system."

"So you're telling me I'm stopping you from getting a sub?" He tilted his head. 

"Yeah you've been stopping me for four years," he huffed as if this was all Louis' fault that a blood-matching system apparently fucked up.

"Well I'm getting one today," Louis pouted and it pained him to even admit that. 

"Good."

Louis played on his phone and made sure to stay away from his photo album because it was all him and Zayn. He decided to just play Candy Crush instead to try and beat Niall. Niall was on level 157 and Louis was stuck on 155. It's the closest thing Niall could get to sweets, too. 

"Louis Tomlinson?" A doctor called and appeared from the right wing hall. Louis stood up and so did the man. 

"Um?"

"I'm getting tested right after you," he explained as they walked to the doctor. "I have been deprived of a sub for four god damn years," he huffed and Louis just rolled his eyes. Louis would do anything for four more years of freedom. 

The doctor made the man stand outside of the testing room while him and Louis went in. Louis sat down on the examining table and felt embarrassed when he squished the thin paper they have laying on top of it. He tried adjusting himself to smooth it out but that just made him more embarrassed. The doctor told Louis to roll his sleeve up so Louis did and he bit his lip. 

"How long is this going to take?" Louis asked watching the doctor ready a needle.

"Ten seconds," he hummed and Louis pulled his arm away.

"That's it? I'll know my sub just like that?" He gulped as he expected it to be some long lengthy process that he could prepare himself for. 

"Well ten seconds to get your blood sample then we have to run it through a test which will take close to 5 minutes," he explained and snatched Louis' arm. He sterilized it with a cotton pad then wrapped a band around his bicep but Louis kept jerking his arm away. "Do you want to be tested or not?" The doctor huffed and stood up straight looking fed up.

"No no, I do, I do," Louis gulped and held his arm out. He turned his head and looked away as he figured he wouldn't keep pulling away if he couldn't see the needle. His skin pinched together as the needle slid into his skin and he winced. It was so uncomfortable and it definitely felt longer than ten seconds. When the needle was pulled out the doctor wrapped a piece of gauze on the small wound with medical tape. The tape was tighter than the fucking rubber band that had since been removed.

"The results will be back in roughly five minutes," he nodded then walked out of the room and he heard him invite the sketchy, gorgeous man back in.

"I didn't ask him to invite you in," Louis said and poked at the gauze as the man sat down in a chair that was pushed against a wall. 

"I figured," the man said and leaned back watching Louis. 

"I can't help that I've been matching with you, you know? So I would appreciate it if you wouldn't look at me like you wanted to rip my head off and carry it around on a stick."

The man raised his eyebrows and Louis swore he saw his lip tug into a tiny smile then fall flat again. 

"You try being without a sub for four years after you expect one," the man growled and Louis chuckled. "What was funny?"

"Nothing," Louis shook his head. Louis would do anything, anything in the world to not have a sub for four years- for life. 

They sat in awkward silence the entire time while Louis also battled the rave of butterflies in his stomach. It was fucking weird. He shifted on the table and snuck a glance at the man. His heart sped up again and he narrowed his eyebrows. 

"You alright?" The man asked when he looked up and saw Louis staring at him.

"Do you feel butterflies?" Louis asked quickly.

"What?"

"In your stomach, do you feel butterflies?" 

"Um yeah but-"

"We're gonna get matched together," Louis blurted out as he recognized the feeling. Well he didn't recognize it but he knew of it. Niall explained it to him. When you meet the person you're matched with you get this 'feeling.' It starts as an eruption of butterflies and then you get all tingly and your heart speeds up and you're always thinking about them. Louis hadn't stopped thinking about the man since he smacked him in the face with the door.

"That's impossible," the man shook his head. They both looked up when the doctor walked in. The man even stood up and Louis was about ready to jump on the doctor and snatch the paper from him. "Well whose his match?" The man snapped as the doctor kept looking between the man and the paper then back to Louis. 

"Harry Styles," the doctor said and Louis glanced at the man. 

"That's me," he trailed off.


	4. Chapter 4

"Let me see that," Harry snapped and ripped the paper from the doctor's hand. Louis just stared as Harry's eyes flicked over the paper as if it was encrypted in hieroglyphics. Louis was matched with another Dom. The Dom right in front of him actually. 

"Is that allowed?" Louis spoke up. Both the doctor and Louis' future soul mate stared at him. "To have Dom's match?" He clarified. 

"It's never happened before that I'm aware of," the doctor admitted. "I mean- we could run the test again."

"Yes do that." Harry was already holding his arm out for the needle that wasn't even close. Louis was honestly offended that Harry didn't want Louis as his Dom-or partner in this new case. 

Both Harry and Louis were re-tested then left alone in the room together again. Louis couldn't help but stare at Harry because he knew this wasn't a mistake. Harry was the one. The billions of butterflies told him that. He didn't even care that Harry was a Dom as much as Harry seemed to care. 

"This is ridicules," Harry muttered under his breath. 

"Well I- we're gonna be matched together for life so I-"

"No we aren't," Harry grumbled. "It was a mistake and I'll be getting a real sub not a Dom." Louis narrowed his eyebrows at that and bit his lip. Harry wanted a real sub but Louis was sub by choice. He knew everything it took to be a sub.

"I could be the sub," Louis whispered softly as he's always been embarrassed about thinking in such a way. He loves being a sub but no one he's met so far besides Zayn and Niall accept him for wanting to change status. 

"And how exactly would that work out?" Harry huffed as if Louis' suggestion was the most absurd thing in the world.

"Well I've been- I've been training- like preparing," he stuttered as he couldn't really describe what he was doing. He was just living as a sub.

"Training? So you knew this was gonna happen? You knew you were gonna ruin my life?"

Louis frowned and felt the butterflies all turn into aggressive, speedy bats painfully bashing against his stomach. 

"You don't- I haven't even been in your life long enough to ruin it," Louis fired back and he felt a black hold stirring inside of him. He really wanted to smack Harry in the face with that glass door now. 

"You've been in my life ever since I matched with you."

"That's not my fault you keep thinking about me," Louis pouted and crossed his arms keeping a hard glare on the man. His man. Well if this all ended up being true-the Dom on Dom match-which is was; Louis felt it. 

"Whatever," Harry grumbled and turned his head away staring at the door. Louis could tell he wanted to look at something other than the plain door but he didn't want Louis having the victory of him looking at him again. 

"You sure are mature for being 22," Louis said and raised an eyebrow. 

"And you sure are annoying," Harry shot back. "And small for a Dom," he added looking Louis up and down. "Are you even a Dom?"

"Yes," Louis sighed and rubbed his arm. "But I don't want to be that's why I'm offering to be the sub," he admitted trying to bring the conversation back to where it started. Harry just stared at Louis and studied him like a math equation that couldn't be figured out. 

"You sure are disobedient and feisty for a sub," he said but Louis could hear the potential in his voice. He was thinking of letting Louis being his sub. 

"I can change that," Louis responded. "You just have to be patient with me but I can be a good sub, I know I can." Zayn has told him and so has Niall that he'd make a perfect sub. Zayn even admitted to wanting Louis as a sub. The two remained silence for a bit and seemed to be trying to figure out the other's thoughts. Louis was thinking about being a sub. An actual sub. A real sub to a real Dom. Of being controlled.

"Maybe," Harry trailed off but his voice lingered toward the tone of a yes rather than a no. Louis simply nodded as he didn't want to push the matter any further to the point of rejection. The doctor came in with both of their results and read them again. They matched each other as Louis predicted. 

"Now I'm not sure if it's the system today or-"

"Make him the sub," Harry spoke up and nodded towards Louis. "He wants to be."

"I can't just make him a sub," the doctor frowned and Louis stayed quiet. Harry shifted in his seat and glanced at Louis. 

"I said make him /the/ sub," Harry repeated. "Go into your fancy little compute and switch his status."

"That's illegal."

"So is me bashing in your face," Harry threatened and Louis tensed up at how aggressive Harry turned in a matter of seconds. 

"We just don't want to get in trouble for being Dom on Dom," Louis chimed in and peaked at Harry again. "And no one will know you changed my status and if they do just blame us, we'll take the fall."

"I'm not going to jail."

"Shut up," Louis snapped. Harry narrowed his eyebrows and they both turned their eyes to the doctor. "Please?" Louis begged and the doctor glanced at his papers again. 

"I'll see what I can do," he gulped then scurried out of the room. He was a sub, Louis could tell so having two Dom's yelling at him probably scared the shit out of him. 

"The minute he says your my sub it's my rules," Harry sat back in his chair and crossed his leg over the other. "So if you think you can get away with telling me to shut up again you're in for quite the surprise."

Louis bit his tongue and felt his stomach twist into a knot. By the end of this visit he definitely knew he'd have to throw up by the amount of times his stomach has changed. He's always imagined being a sub but he's only ever imagined with with Zayn. With someone who didn't have strict rules or a aggressive attitude. 

"Unless you don't want to be a sub and we somehow work this out so we each get a real sub," Harry interrupted.

"I want to be your sub," Louis blurted out and he didn't even realize he wanted it until he said it. He wanted to be controlled. He wanted to be tied down and Harry could give him exactly that. Zayn could love him but Harry could control him. That's all he wanted. 

"Good," Harry nodded and Louis shifted on the testing table. Harry was still in the single waiting chair. "Who was that man you were with earlier?" He asked after five minutes as the waiting dragged on longer than they expected. Louis frowned and looked down at his wrist. The silver Z charm dangling down from his wrist. 

"My best friend," he said as that wasn't completely false. 

"His name?"

"Why?"

"Cause I asked," Harry growled and leaned forward glaring at Louis. "So tell me."

"Zayn," Louis spoke up feeling slightly intimidated by Harry. It was hard for Louis though. He was a Dom. He had Dom instincts to be, well, dominant. It was hard to fight the urges. 

"And he's your best friend?" Harry asked. 

"That's what I said."

Harry clenched his jaw and Louis say o straight realizing he sassed Harry. Subs don't sass their Doms. They do as they're told. 

"I know that's what you said. I was clarifying," Harry narrowed his eyebrows. "Because I don't want you with him especially cause he's another Dom and somethings telling me he was your little experiment."

"He was not an experiment."

Harry raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. Louis slouched down and looked at his fingers, his eyes falling to the Z pendent again. He couldn't admit to Harry that he loved Zayn. He still loved Zayn. 

"Then what was he? Because I'm almost sure I heard him confess his love to you before I hit you with that door."

Louis tensed up and curled his fingers into little fists. Harry knew. He gulped and slowly moved his eyes up to look at Harry who was impatiently tapping his foot on the ground. 

"I don't need to answer that," Louis mumbled and his eyes fell back down to his fingers. Louis nearly jumped out of his skin when he was pushed or more like slammed down against the examination table. Green eyes glaring into him and two strong hands holding his shoulders down. 

"Listen here and listen well because I'm not going to put up with this for long. I'm your Dom and you're my sub so that means you do as I say. So you answer my questions when I ask them," Harry growled and his face was right above Louis', set hard like stone. Louis felt his stomach twist but in a weird, turned-on kind of way. This is what he wanted. He wanted Harry to climb on top of him right now and kiss the life out of him. Hold his hands above his head or maybe handcuff them with the cuffs Niall bought for him. "Are you listening to me?"

Louis blinked a few times and realized Harry was clothed and not completely naked like in his day dream. 

"Sorry," he frowned then nodded thinking back to Harry's orders. "I'll do as you say from now on," he gulped. 

Harry hovered over Louis a bit longer until the door opened. He pulled away quickly and Louis say up pushing his hands down on his crotch. Stupid sweatpants. He sat up straight then decided to cross his legs although it was extremely uncomfortable.

"It's changed," the doctor said quietly. "Louis Tomlinson is now Harry Styles' sub," he reassured and got a confirmation nod from both Harry and Louis. The doctor looked extremely uneasy but Louis knew he was thankful for him. He made Louis' dream come true. Even if it wasn't with his dream Dom, it was with a Dom nonetheless. 

The doctor led the two out of the room and made them sit in the phone call room where the Doms contact the subs. It's where arrangements are discussed. Usually they're followed up a month later by a check up to make sure the sub and Dom did meet up. After that its yearly check-ups. Liam and Niall's visits take all of about five minutes as the doctor just asks about their relationship then dismiss them. 

They sat across from each other at the table and Louis bit his lip. The doctor usually tapped into the phone call but in this case he was standing outside the closed door. 

"You'll be living with m obviously," Harry started and Louis' face fell. "Not happy about that?" Harry raised an eyebrow but in a annoyed kind of way. 

"Well I- my friends and I all live together," he explained and Harry tsked with his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"By friends you mean Zayn?"

"And Niall and Liam," Louis threw in. "I live with them and you're more than welcome to live with-"

"Whose the Dom here?" Harry leaned forward and Louis watched his jaw clench under his skin. His jaw could cut marble. Louis looked down and sighed. "Say it."

"You are," he mumbled then glanced up. "But shouldn't we make a compromise?" He tried again as he couldn't imagine being far from Zayn and Niall, he'd even miss Liam. 

"If that's gonna make this easier."

"Shouldn't you be wanting to make me happy? Not miserable? I want to stay near my friends and you seem to not even care," Louis blurted out being fed up with Harry's attitude. Dom personalities didn't clash well and that was a huge obstacle they were gonna need to get past. 

"What if I have friends I want to stay near?" Harry hummed.

"Do you? I sure wouldn't want to be your friend," he snapped and sat up staring harshly into Harry's eyes.

"We're gonna have fun aren't we?" A smirk slowly pulled onto his lips and he leaned back folding his arms like the belligerent beauty he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!!! I'm gonna try to update a chapter a week if that's okay with everyone! It'll help me with making the chapters longer! And this one is a tad shorter than the others cause I wanted to update! So I hope you enjoy and leave kudos/comments!! (And yes I know Harry is an ass but deal with it for now :) love you all


	5. Chapter 5

Louis glared at Harry and Harry glared at Louis like they were gonna each burn the other into a cloud of dust never to be messed with again. Louis couldn't believe how rude Harry was and how much control the stupid, gorgeous creature thought he had over Louis. He knew he belonged to Harry as his sub but Harry wasn't even willing to compromise on anything. 

He said Louis had to live with him. Louis wouldn't be attending college. Louis wouldn't be friends with Zayn. Louis fought hard against that one. Extremely hard and the doctor had to come in to make sure the two still wanted to even go through with being paired together. 

"Even if we didn't want to be together we'd still be matched together," Louis snorted and leaned back in his chair. His eyes lingering on Harry as he rolled his sleeves up and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt to get some air. No hair on his chest- thank the lord. 

"Well this is complete bullshit," Harry huffed and stood up. "I'd rather be alone the rest of my life then be stuck with you."

Louis shot up to his feet and reached across the table grabbing Harry's shirt collar. "No you don't. You don't ever wish to be alone because there are some Doms and subs out there who don't even get a chance at being matched. The only thing they get is the feeling of emptiness and hopelessness! So don't you ever wish you could be forever alone because you don't! No one wishes that arbitrarily." 

Harry stared at Louis and clenched his jaw multiple times taking in Louis' words. The doctor just stood in shock as the sub deliberately disobeyed his Dom. 

"Alright," Harry said defensively and held his hands up. Louis released his shirt and brushed his hands off on his shirt like he just touched the scum of the Earth. Harry proceeded to slouch back in his chair and watch with a heavy glare. 

"I'm gonna step back outside," the doctor muttered but the couple ignored him. The door shut and Louis glanced over at it then back to Harry. 

"Sit down," Harry demanded but in a softer tone than usual. "I have a few questions to ask."

Louis wearily sat down and narrowed his eyebrows. The staring game began again and Louis felt the stupid, stupid butterflies again. They came at the worst possible time. Actually they came all the time it was just a matter of when Louis actually acknowledged them. He'd get them whenever Harry looked at him which was all the fucking time. He'd get lost in those deep sea green eyes that filled with so much hate. So much hate that could result in so much control. Louis shooed the thoughts away and out a deep sigh. 

"No, let me ask /you/ a question," Louis fired back. "Then you can play 20 questions."

"What?"

"Why are you so bitter? Why do you- why do you insist that I do everything you say at the drop of a hat? I know you're a Dom and I'm you're sub but you aren't even trying to work this out. You seem more worried about just having a sub rather than actually caring about me."

"I care," Harry mumbled and Louis knew he had him. 

"No you don't. You just said you wouldn't want to live with me. I don't get it. I'm sorry I'm not some sugar plum fairy perfect sub for you that beckons to your every call but this is ridicules."

"You're difficult you know that?" Harry huffed and rolled his eyes. 

"And so are you."

"Then we're doing just fine," Harry stated then stood to his feet and walked to the door without missing a beat. Louis stayed seated and just stared. Louis rubbed his face with both of his hands then stood up and trailed behind his Dom. He watched the back of Harry as he walked and noticed he walked a lot slower and leisurely. Even if he was pissed at the world. His arms were tucked away in his pockets and Louis just now noticed the few sporadic tattoos splattered onto his biceps. His pushed up sleeves blocked the full tattoos but he could see small ink poking out from under the fabric. Harry was his Dom. His Dom. Louis never thought he'd be able to say that someone was actually his Dom. And now that he was he realized what a shit job as a sub he was doing. 

Niall never disobeyed Liam and if he did it was minor complications like sneaking a midnight snack. Louis was dragging Harry through hell and they just met. All Harry wanted was a sub and even if there was some underlying reason behind Harry's bitterness Louis couldn't focus on that right now. He had to focus on being a good sub. Being a sub was everything he dreamed of and now he had the opportunity to live out what everyone else called a fantasy. Of course, Harry was no Zayn but Louis didn't belong to Zayn anymore, he belonged to Harry. His Dom. His soulmate. The person he was to love forever. 

"Harry?" He called softly and jogged up beside Harry catching the ma- his Dom's arm. 

"What now?"

"I'm gonna be the best sub for you," he breathed out and locked eyes with him. "I promise."

"Do you promise?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "Because back there wasn't much of a start."

"Well I'm starting now and I promise to do as you say. I'm your sub not your Dom and I'm gonna be so good for you," Louis breathed out and bit down on his lip praying Harry gave him a second chance. Not that he had much of a choice. 

"Okay," Harry said and licked his lips. Louis thought he was gonna have an aneurism just seeing the way Harry's tongue slowly slid past his plump pink lips. 

Louis gulped and nodded. They signed the agreement papers which ultimately put Louis in Harry's home which was God knows where and also stated that Louis wouldn't be attending school. They would work out the minor issues later while in private. The doctors only want to monitor that the Dom and sub actually make contact. 

"Do you need a ride home?" Harry asked and reached in his back pocket for his car keys as they stepped outside. They exchanged phone numbers and decided to call each other tonight to talk about moving Louis into Harry's home. Louis didn't want to think about it. 

"Um I- oh fuck," Louis cursed forgetting all about Zayn waiting in the parking lot for him. "No I have a ride, thank you," he said to Harry quickly. 

"Right," Harry trailed off and eyed up Zayn's car. "We'll talk about /that/ later" he snapped then turned to face Louis. "I'll call you at 8 so don't be busy," he said then pivoted on his feet and walked away. Louis watched as Harry climbed into his car and drove away without a second glance. 

"What took so long? Is everything okay?" Zayn asked the moment Louis slid into the car. He didn't seem angered at Louis anymore but Zayn was good at hiding things, especially emotions. 

"I'm a sub now," he blurted out then bit his lip to prevent the smile from taking over his whole face. Yeah him and Harry didn't seem to make the perfect match but Louis was a sub. He was even in the system as a sub. 

"Wait what? That doesn't make any-you were matched with a sub right?"

"No," Louis shook his head. "I was matched with a Dom which was weird but the doctor changed it for us. Under secrecy of course."

"That's illegal, Louis. You can't just change your status." Zayn sounded unamused. Louis knew he was jealous. Zayn would always be jealous. 

"Well it already happened," he said quickly. "And my Doms name is Harry Styles, he's very- he's not the sweetest person I met but I think we're gonna work on our relationship."

"Work on your relationship?" Zayn raised his eyebrow. "Shouldn't you already be perfect for each other?" He snorted and Louis narrowed his eyebrows. 

"Well we're both Doms and he's got an attitude like I do so we clash," Louis pouted and stared at Zayn who seemed more like a distant stranger now. 

"Seems healthy," he said under his breath. 

"You knew this was gonna happen, whether it be with a Dom or sub I'm not yours, Zayn."

"I know that but I was hoping you'd get matched with someone who actually cared and from what you're saying this Harry fella doesn't seem to give two shits."

"I said he has an attitude that's it. I know you're in love with me. You shouted it to the world and Harry knows too but-"

"Oh so you told your Dom already? That's great. Now we're not gonna be able to even breath near each other."

"Stop being so jealous. You knew this was gonna happen and you're the one who pushed me to do it as soon as possible. 

"I was hoping it'd help okay? I was hoping I could just- I was hoping you'd get paired and somehow everything just disappear. All my feelings for you would just vanish but no they didn't. They got so much stronger and it fucking sucks Louis so let me be jealous okay? Let me just pretended you're mine while I still have you," Zayn frowned and his brown eyes were glazed over. 

"You'll always have me Zayn," Louis whispered and gently touched Zayn's arm then moved his had down to hold Zayn's. "We're best buds remember? We were friends before we fell in love with each other and we're gonna be friends after."

Zayn sniffled and glanced at Louis. "In the bathroom...you told me you used to be in love with," Zayn brought up but not as a question or anything. He just seemed to want to remind Louis of what he said so he could explain it. 

"I-i was just mad," Louis shrugged and sighed. "I do love you but I'm with my Dom now-"

"He's not your real Dom," Zayn snapped and Louis frowned. 

"We were matched together."

"And then you made the doctor change the system. He could've easily done that with us. I could've been your Dom not some stranger."

Louis stayed quiet and just looked at Zayn feeling all kinds of emotions pulsing through him. He was angry and sad and hurt and confused. 

"I'm walking home," he murmured and got out of the car. He slammed the door and shoved his hands into his pockets. 

"Louis get back in the car," Zayn pouted and watched out the open window as Louis kept walking. "Lou the walk is going to take all day."

"I'll tell Harry to drive me," Louis called over his shoulder then pulled out his phone to dial Harry's number. Louis held the phone to his ear and kept walking not looking back once to see if Zayn even left the parking lot. He made a right turn out of the lot and Harry picked up.

"I'm driving," Harry mumbled then Louis heard rustling. "Now you're on speaker."

"Is someone else in the car?" Louis narrowed his eyebrows.

"No but I can't be on my phone and drive it's illegal and unsafe so it's on my lap."

Louis smiled softly at that as it was actually kind of cute. Harry being cute was different but nice. He didn't sound as bitter either. Maybe the car ride has given him some time to calm down and actually think. Think about his actions and how him and Louis are gonna get through this. Louis knows they can its just a matter if Harry believes they can, too. 

"Oh-okay um- well could you actually drive me home? I'm currently on the side of a road walking," he gulped and bit his lip.

"Why are you not with that Zeke guy?"

"Zayn," Louis corrected him and his name was bitter on his tongue. They've never argued so much in all the years they've known each other and today made up for all of that. "And we got in a fight so I'm walking home."

"Is your house far from where you're walking?"

"Could you just come get me please Harry?" Louis sighed as he didn't want to keep walking and he didn't want to do anymore arguing for the day. 

"Fine," Harry huffed and Louis let out a sigh of relief. 

"I'm gonna keep walking so you don't have to drive as far. Just head towards the testing facility and you'll see me, thank you," Louis was about to hang up before Harry stopped him. 

"Don't hang up," he said. "I don't- just stay on the phone with me?"

"Why? I don't want to bother you," Louis frowned and kicked a rock along the side of the street. 

"Cause it'll make me feel better if you just stay on the phone." Louis blushed and glanced up at the empty street. Harry cared. 

"Why?" Louis smirked as he wanted to hear Harry's reasoning even though he already knew it. 

"Stop smirking, I know what you're doing," Harry snapped and Louis chuckled softly. He liked on-the-phone Harry much better than in-person Harry. At least he had a good side that Louis would need to work out of him. 

Louis did most of the talking which didn't include much since Harry's car pulled up beside Louis within 5 minutes. Louis slipped into the car and glanced at Harry. He was still as beautiful as he was at the testing facility. With his messy brown hair and sharp green eyes. Louis could just see himself sitting on his lap and riding him while the car was tucked away in the back of the parking lot. Or giving him head. Louis could give him road head right now. 

"Alright where do you live?" Harry cleared his throat and Louis' face turned red as he had been caught staring. 

"Oh um- at the Hunters Run apartment complex. Do you know where that is?" Louis asked and glanced at Harry's crotch as Harry was looking ahead. 

"Mhm," he nodded and started driving. Louis kept glancing at Harry and his stomach was knotting up at the thought of Harry inside of his mouth. He knew the drive wasn't too too long so he had to start soon. 

Louis chewed on his lip and unbuckled his seat belt gaining an odd stare from Harry but only for a second since his eyes needed to be back on the road. Louis gulped and shifted in his seat carefully leaning over the middle console. 

"What are you-" Harry started then widened his eyes when Louis' hand unbuttoned his pants. He stayed quiet after that and let Louis pull his zipper down. 

Louis felt one of Harry's hands rest on the back of his head as he moved Harry's pants and boxers out of the way to get to Harry's cock. It was big. A lot bigger than Zayn's but then again Louis was in a tight spot between Harry's thighs, the steering wheel, and Harry's stomach. He tilted his head and ran his smooth hand up Harry's thick cock feeling the vein pressing against the skin. He kissed the top and heard Harry let out something between a breath and a moan. His fingers tightening in Louis' hair so he took that as a go to start. He widened his lips and sunk down on Harry's cock. The tip inching it's way to the back of Louis' throat. Louis closed his eyes and slowly began to turn his head back and forth to massage his tongue all around Harry's aching length. It felt so full of come and Louis couldn't wait to swallow all of it. He felt Harry push down on the back of his head more which almost made Louis gag. He adjusted himself again and bobbed his head hoping that's what Harry wanted. 

"Fuck Lou," Harry cursed and Louis couldn't help but smile. He was making Harry feel good. Louis suckled on the tip and popped his lips off with a strand of saliva and pre-cum connecting his lips to Harry's tip. He went back down and hollowed his cheeks around the leaking cock. Harry's tip gently nudged the back of his throat and Louis used his free hand to massage Harry's balls. "Mmmmm," Harry moaned deep from his throat and Louis mimicked the moan to send vibrations up Harry's length. 

Louis felt Harry shift and he knew he was close. He kept sucking and bobbed his head a bit faster as if Harry was fucking his mouth. He's always wanted his mouth fucked but Zayn said that was a bit rough. Harry could do that for Louis one day. 

"Fuck baby," Harry cursed and his hand gripped Louis' hair tighter. Louis narrowed his eyebrows and continued sucking roughly and sloppily until streams of come shot against his throat. He heard Harry let out a dirty, filthy groan and he swallowed Harry's rather salty come. He pulled off and wiped his lips glancing up at Harry who looked spent. His pupils blown out and breathing heavy. He was a sex god and Louis couldn't wait to actually see him in bed. 

"You called me baby," Louis whispered quietly in awe and sat back. His blue eyes locked onto Harry's. 

"Yeah," Harry said and buttoned up his pants. Louis nodded and leaned back realizing they were already parked at the apartment complex. He took a deep breath and glanced at Harry again who had leaned back. His eyes widened when he saw they were parked besides Zayn's car and Zayn was staring right at them.


	6. Chapter 6

Zayn stepped out of the car and slammed the door so hard he swore the window glass shattered. Louis watched and quickly unbuckled trying to get out of the car but Harry stopped him. 

"What are you doing?"

"He saw me- he's- he didn't need to-"

"I'm your Dom," Harry huffed. "Not him," he clarified but Louis could care less right now.

"But he's my best friend I- I just need to talk to him," Louis begged as he hated how every time Zayn and him got in a fight today they never finished. They never resolved it.

"Fine."

Louis nodded and glanced at Harry with apologizing eyes. He was such a horrible sub. The blow job bumped him up the ladder but now he was falling right back down. He couldn't lose Zayn though; not this early, not ever. 

"I'm still calling you later," Harry grumbled as Louis slipped out of the car. Louis gave a thumbs up and darted to his apartment. He used his key to get in and saw Niall on the couch playing on his phone. 

"Where's Zayn?" Louis breathed out and put his hands on his hips. He had to run up a flight of stairs and he was anything but in shape. 

"In his room," Niall mumbled with a soft tone. "He looked upset," he added on which didn't make Louis' heart feel any better. Louis heard footsteps and whipped around but it was just Liam with two mugs; one for himself and Niall. 

"What'd you do now?" Liam grumbled and kept his eyes on Niall making sure his sub didn't spill the hot tea. 

"Nothing," Louis quickly refused to answer that and walked to Zayn's room. They needed to figure this out. There were loose ends and loose emotions that wouldn't heal right away but they had to be fixed. The healing had to start now. 

"Don't even think about it Louis," Zayn growled before Louis even had a hand on the door to knock. His heart racing as Zayn sounded genuinely mad. He must have heard Louis come in and speak with Liam and Niall. 

"Please Zayn? We have to figure this- us- out. We can't keep running-"

"You're the one who ran out of the bathroom and the one who ran out of the car to be with your precious Dom so don't ever think it's me whose running from the problem." Zayn's words cut like a knife through Louis' already aching heart. He couldn't take this. He couldn't take his best friend hating him for something he couldn't control. 

"You've always told me you wanted me to be happy! I'm happy Zayn! I'm happy because I get to be a sub like I've always wanted!"

"You've been a sub with me ever since we met! Don't act like what we had was just some stupid game!" Zayn swung the door open and Louis stepped back. Zayn's golden brown eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying. His dark brows furrowed and lips pulled into a frown. 

"It wasn't a game," Louis said softly. "It was never a game with you."

"Then how come you just so easily dropped me?!"

"I didn't drop you Zayn! I'm right here talking to you now!" 

"Then how come you had his cock half way down your throat within two hours of meeting him!?"

"Because he's my Dom!"

"Because you're a just a stupid slut! That's all you are Louis! That's all you were to me!" He shouted and shoved Louis into the wall. Louis winced and felt his heart in his stomach. Everything being swallowed by a black hole. He wasn't a slut to Zayn, Zayn loved him. He told him so. Then again lying tends to come easier to those you trust most.

"Hey, hey, hey," Liam came rushing in and stood between the two. One hand on each of their chest's to keep them separated.

"You told me you were in love with me," he fired back softly, tears brimming in his eyes. Zayn called him a slut and pushed him. Zayn's never pushed him or even laid a hand on him. His back stayed against the wall as Zayn's chest rose and fell. He could care less that Liam was in the middle.

"Not anymore," he growled. "I don't want you living here anymore, get out," he snapped and turned around walking back into his room. Liam glanced at Louis and let his hands fall watching Zayn turn away.

"It's not my fault Ryan died and left you all alone!" Louis shouted and clenched his fingers into tiny fist. He watched Zayn freeze and his back muscles tense. "So grow up like you told me to do," he growled. Liam turned to face Louis and Louis ignored him. His eyes burning holes into Zayn's back. 

"Get him out of here, Liam," Zayn said under his breath. He was hurt and Louis knew he had hit a pressure point.

"You can't fight your own battle?" Louis continued as Liam held his shoulders and started pushing him back. Louis was so mad he didn't even know hat words were coming out of his mouth anymore. Words he would regret most likely. "Whose running away from their problems now huh? Answer me!" Louis yelled over Liam watching the door to Zayn's room slam shut. "Get off of me." He fought against Liam's tight hold. 

"Hey! Shut up," Liam growled and pushed Louis back against a wall holding him their tightly. One of his hands reaching up to hold Louis' chin still. Louis didn't know eyes could catch fire but Liam's were. "I don't know who the fuck you think you are but you don't- and I mean don't- ever bring up Ryan. Do you fucking understand me?" Liam growled in Louis' face. Louis knew Liam could break him with just his pinky and honestly he deserved to be hurt. Everything he said he needed to take back, apologize for. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean for this day to turn out like this. 

"Get the hell off of him," a voice yelled and Liam was ripped off of Louis. Louis widened his eyes and quickly felt a strong arm pull him back against a strong body. "You left your phone in the car," Harry whispered and shoved it into Louis' hand. Louis frowned and glanced at the front door which he assumed he left unlocked. 

"How about you get the hell out of my house?" Liam snapped back standing up straight and looking Harry up and down. Liam had gotten into a fair amount of fights and Louis would imagine Harry has, too. 

"Touch my sub like that again and I'll rip your throat out," Harry snapped and Louis' eyes flicked from Liam to Harry. He heard a soft whimper and he saw Niall cowering away on the couch. He wiggled away from Harry's firm grasp and rushed to the scared sub. 

"He's not gotten hurt him, I promise," he cooed and pulled Niall into a hug. "Right, Harry?" His head jerked up seeing Harry and Liam glaring at each other. If he didn't intervene one of them would end up dead. "Harry?!" He raised his voice. Harry glanced at Louis and saw the pleading look in his eyes and the fear in Niall's. 

"Get your things, Louis," he spoke lowly from the back of throat. "You're staying at my house tonight," he said and turned away walking to the door. Louis frowned and sat up keeping a hand on Niall's back. 

"All my stuff is in- it's in Zayn's room," he gulped as he had a lot of stuff. He couldn't imagine how he'd be able to move out right now on such short notice- such circumstances. 

"Nevermind then, you can use my stuff," he said and Louis nodded. He stood up gingerly and whispered to Niall he'd be back before following Harry out to the car. 

They both walked in silence to Harry's car. Harry was still radiating anger and Louis felt like he was hit with a train- over and over again. He couldn't take this. He couldn't handle having his best friend hate him. He said such mean things to him. He brought up Ryan for fucks sake. Harry got into the car and Louis just stood outside the passenger door. The tears building up behind his eyes before spilling over like a waterfall down his cheeks.

"What are you doing?" Harry rolled down the window as he couldn't see Louis' face, just his torso. "Fuck," Harry cursed under his breath and climbed out of the car. Louis was sobbing now. He had his hands over his face and his shoulders shook. He's never ever gotten in a fight like that. It was so physical and mental. He was mentally hurting. Maybe he was a slut. He wasn't a virgin but for gods sake he sucked Harry off already. "Here, sit down," Harry mumbled and Louis didn't even try fighting against Harry. He somehow ended up sitting on the curb with Harry's arm around his shoulder. "I'll go back in there and beat them up if you'd like?" 

"No don't, I hurt them all enough," Louis sniffled and kept his face hidden. He really didn't need his Dom seeing him cry. What kind of sub was he? All weak and pathetic. 

"I couldn't imagine you did much physical damage you're quite tiny," Harry said with a small forced smile trying to lighten the mood. Louis appreciated it but didn't want it right now. 

"Shut up," he whimpered and felt Harry's hand tighten on his shoulder. He knew he shouldn't have told his Dom that but he's allowed to have emotions in a time like this. He also grew to know Harry enough in the last few hours that he wouldn't be strict on him right now-at least not yet. 

"That was the best blow job I've had by the way," Harry whispered and Louis' face turned red. "Glad you practiced on Zayn." His stomach lurched. 

"Don't talk about him," Louis whimpered. Even someone else saying his name made his mouth taste funny. Made his heart rip even more. 

"Alright, then I'm glad you practiced on a dildo," he smirked. "How's that? You seem like the type."

"I'm not a type," Louis pouted and wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. He peaked out of the corner of his eyes to see Harry watching him. He swore the idiot was smiling. 

"Yes you are," Harry continued. "How's this? If I guess one of your kinks, which will be so unbelievable easy, you pay for lunch today?" 

"I just- I just had an emotional breakdown and you want to play a guessing game?" Louis sniffled but it was actually making him feel better to have someone distracting him. 

"Well you are no longer having a breakdown so I think I succeeded in stopping it," he said calmly and raised an eyebrow. He had a point. 

"Fine," Louis mumbled and pulled his legs to his chest, resting his chin on top of his knees. Since when was Zayn a stranger and Harry a friend?

"Alright." Harry cracked his knuckles then his neck making Louis press his mouth against his knees to hide a smile. "Hair pulling kink."

"Everyone has that," Louis mumbled as Harry wasn't wrong but that was such a cheap shot. 

"Touché," he nodded and furrowed his eyebrows examining Louis like a piece of art. His eyes scanning up and down Louis' curled body until he smirked. "Thigh kink," he spoke with such confidence and Louis' cheeks flushed. He even shifted his legs a bit at the thought of Harry's head between his legs sucking dark purple spots into his skin. 

"Yeah," he blushed and glanced at Harry. 

"You're easy to read," Harry smiled and Louis smiled back which was new. Both of them smiling at each other. 

"I bet I can guess one of yours," Louis challenged. 

"I bet you can't."

"If I do then you buy lunch," Louis suggested and sat up watching Harry's eyes. He already knew what kink he was gonna say and he didn't even have to think about it.

"Alright but I'm a closed bo-"

Louis straightened up and leaned over so his lips were against Harry's ear. "Daddy," Louis whispered slowly and Harry snapped his head over. Louis smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. Harry stood up and grabbed his wallet from his back pocket 

"Where do you want to eat?" He grumbled and Louis scurried to his feet following Harry to his car.


	7. Chapter 7

They decided on a small pizza parlor because Louis originally wanted Italian because he had been craving it but Harry said he didn't care for Italian. Louis then suggested a burger joint but Harry said that was too far of a drive so they ended up at some random pizza place. 

"What do you want?" Harry asked staring at the multiple trays of pizza lined up. Cheese, pepperoni, sausage, pineapple etc...

"Erm two slices of cheese- no, one cheese and one sausage. And a medium soda, probably Pepsi unless they just have Coke," he nodded and glanced at Harry who was just staring at him like he had lost his mind. His eyebrows furrowed but then again when were they not? "What?" 

"I asked what you wanted not what a little league baseball team wanted."

"Oh," Louis frowned and bit down on his lip to stay himself from making a snappy comment. Harry was his Dom so his rules. "Well then how about just one slice of pizza?"

"No soda," Harry added on. "Water is healthier and won't make you tired."

"I hate water it's so bland." Harry shot Louis another glare and it was obvious he was losing his patience and losing it fast. "Can I get lemonade instead?" He tried and he could feel the employee behind the counter eavesdropping from a far. 

"What did I just say?" Harry said and Louis watched as Harry's eyes flicked over to the employee. Oh, Harry was trying to be a good Dom. 

"That water is healthier."

"And?"

"That maybe Louis can get lemonade because he doesn't really like water," Louis said and internally smirked as he loved messing with Harry. 

"Alright," Harry said plainly and Louis jerked his head back. He wasn't even going to complain or fire some snotty comment back. Louis crossed his arms and glanced up at Harry realizing he really shouldn't have put up a fight for a cup of water. Good subs don't do that especially in front of other people. He'll apologize at the table when they sit down. "Go find us a table," Harry murmured to Louis as he dug through his wallet for money. Louis nodded and sat at the window table since it was sunny out. The pizza parlor was quite cold for having large ovens so he relied on the sun's rays to heat him up a bit. He pushed the condiment holder to the side of the table and looked up as Harry arrived with their food. He sat down with a tray and picked up a piece of pizza taking a bite of it.

"Where's my food?" Louis narrowed his eyebrows as there was only one drink on the plate, one small fry cup and the pizza currently in Harry's mouth.

"You didn't get any," he said and dabbed the grease from his mouth then some off the top of the pizza.

"You said you'd buy me lunch," Louis pouted and sat back realizing this was just a punishment for his snippy comment at the counter. 

"And you promised to be a good sub. People lie," he carelessly said and sipped his drink. Louis slouched down and just watched as Harry ate. The pizza looked extremely delicious and his mouth was literally watering. He didn't eat a big breakfast for reasons and he was starving. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled and crossed his feet under the table. "I just- it's new to me, all the rules," he admitted as Zayn was never really strict with rules. He didn't even have rules.

"What about that training you did?" Harry asked unamused. 

"Well it wasn't really- I didn't really train for the lifestyle I just- kind of- it was more of the- you know," he stuttered feeling his face heat up. 

"No, I don know," Harry leaned forward pretending to sound interested with an exaggerated eyebrow raise. 

"I just- prefer to like- be on the bottom," he mumbled and kept his eyes on his fingers as they twisted around each other in his lap. 

"But rules don't matter and you just want to do whatever you want?" Harry said with quite the tone that it made Louis feel embarrassed even more so. 

"I'm trying," Louis frowned feeling belittled. "I'm not gonna be perfect but I'm really trying."

"Refusing to get water upon my request didn't sound like trying."

"Well I don't like it and I don't really think you should force something down my throat that I don't want," Louis huffed. Harry stayed quiet and just looked at Louis. Not glare, he looked like he was studying him. 

"You can get a small and one slice," he mumbled pulling his wallet out to get money for Louis. 

"Thank you," Louis said and stood up walking to the counter and ordering one slice of cheese pizza and a small Pepsi. He got his order and paid returning to the table. He sat down and slid the money back to Harry who was absentmindedly chewing on his pizza crust.

"We need to make a list," Harry spoke up after Louis was halfway through eating his slice. 

"A list of what?" Louis tilted his head and sipped from his straw to wash the pizza down. 

"Things we like and don't like because I'm not going to argue with you every time we try to make a decision." 

Louis took another bite of his pizza and nodded. He liked that idea. Although it would be a pain to compromise with Harry he liked that Harry was still trying to make them work out. Louis knew he was a pain but he couldn't help it to an extent and he probably should bite his tongue more. However, he doesn't want to surrender his whole being to be be a pet. Of course he's always dreamed of being a sub but that applied more to in the bedroom. He did enjoy being controlled outside of the bedroom but not like a dog. He wasn't going to be like Niall, no offense to him, he wanted to be himself with Harry and not change every living thing about him for another person's well being. 

"We should make it individually then," Louis suggested as making the list side by side would cause even more argument. "Then have a third party mediate for us."

"I don't want a third party involved."

"Okay," Louis sighed. "Then we'll just talk to out," he stated as it wasn't that big of a deal. 

"We can do that tonight," Harry said and glanced at Louis' plate before moving the cup of fries to it. They were half gone. "You've been eyeing them up since I sat down," Harry mumbled and Louis smiled softly. He let out a soft thank you then popped a smaller fry into his mouth. 

"You're so kind," Louis smirked and watched Harry roll his eyes. 

"Don't overplay it," he said and reached into his pocket to get his phone. Louis munched on his food and glanced up seeing Harry's phone discreetly aimed at him. It quickly moved the moment Louis made eye contact with the camera lens. 

"Wee you taking a picture of me stuffing my face?" Louis teased feeling a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. 

"No."

"I saw you pointing the camera at me," Louis huffed as there was no use in lying to him. 

"My mom wanted to know what you looked like," he mumbled under his breath and shoved his phone away. 

"That's cute," Louis smiled and watched Harry get all bashful. Harry was definately a softy, sweetheart under all those layers of dominance. 

"Are you finished eating?"

"Did you get a good picture?" Louis egged on before Harry stood up. Louis chuckled and stood up following Harry to the trashcan to dump out their trays. "Do you text your mom a lot?" 

"She just wanted to know what you looked like," Harry grumbled clearly annoyed with the pestering. Louis found it cute though that Harry-being very much an adult-still texted his mom. Especially texted her about him. 

"What else were you talking to her about?" Louis asked as he walked out the door Harry held open for him. 

"I texted her saying I was matched then she asked what you looked like, that's it." He unlocked the car and Louis slid in as Harry got in on the passenger side. 

"You could've asked to take a picture of me," Louis smirked and glance at Harry who was already putting the car in reverse. "What's her name?" 

"Why are you so interested in my mom?" Harry huffed and peaked at Louis out of the corner of his eye. 

"I don't know." Louis shrugged. "I was just wondering."

"Her names Anne," Harry answered not too shortly after. 

"Are you close with her?" 

"Yeah," Harry mumbled and Louis nodded. He leaned his head back and stared out the window deciding he had done enough prying and Harry didn't sound thrilled by the twenty questions. 

About five long, silence minutes later Louis reached over to turn the radio up from its soft hum. He picked a radio station then frowned when his eyes fell on his wrist. The silver bangle wrapped loosely around his wrist with the Z dangling from it in perfect view. 

"Jesus Louis that's loud enough," Harry raised his voice and his hand shoved Louis' away to turn the volume down. Louis hadn't realized his finger lingered on the volume button when he stared at the bracelet. Everything with Zayn had went to shit so fast. He knew things wouldn't be the same once he was matched but he didn't know they'd be like this. They loved each other- even if they just did confess it today-they knew they loved each other but were too scared to say sooner in worries they wouldn't be able to stop. 

"Sorry," Louis mumbled and moved his attention out the window so it wasn't on the bracelet. He couldn't think about Zayn anymore. Maybe if he just erased him from his memory. But that meant erasing everything even Niall, even Liam. 

"You're crying again," Harry sighed and it didn't sound annoyed or anything. It just sounded tired like he was expecting Louis to get upset. 

"'m not," Louis sniffled and wiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand. The bracelet jingling and reminding Louis that Zayn would always be with him. That they would never forget each other. 

"It's alright," Harry mumbled and Louis watched as he reached over to pat his thigh. He sniffled and expected Harry to pull away but he just kept his hand on Louis' thigh. His fingers fidgeting every now and then and Louis just stared. Harry knew damn well he had a thigh kink. 

"This isn't the time, Harry," Louis frowned and nudged Harry's hand away. 

"I wasn't trying to do anything," Harry said and put his hand back on Louis' thigh. "Just trying to comfort you."

"You know I have a thigh kink."

"Yeah I do," Harry nodded. "But I'm not trying to arise you."

"Well you might not be trying but it's kind of working," Louis pouted and picked up Harry's hand moving it to the gear shift. He heard Harry chuckle and shake his head. "What?"

"Nothing," he smiled. 

"Tell me," Louis huffed as he didn't like being left out of a joke especially if he knew it was about him.

"Why I said thigh kink I assumed it meant my face between your thighs sucking on them, not me just touching them," he said with a smile. Louis shifted in his seat and put his hands in his lap. He didn't know he needed Harry's head between his thighs until now. 

"Stop talking about it," Louis huffed and pushed down on his crotch feeling it starting to fill. 

"Having issues?" Harry teased glancing over as Louis moved around trying to somehow get un-hard. Images of Harry between his legs kept flipping through his mind. His hair tickling against his skin and lips sucking dark spots into his thighs. 

"No," Louis squeaked making Harry laugh. 

"You can solve your problem when we get back to my house," Harry said and Louis just nodded. He wanted Harry to solve his problem not himself. Louis gulped and tapped his foot on the ground impatiently as he swore Harry was driving extremely slow on purpose. 

"Are we almost there?" 

"I don't know, are you?" Harry smirked flicking his eyes down to Louis' crotch then back to the road. 

"Shut up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while...kind of since I updated I've been busy but I made the weekly update goal so I'm good. Anyway, updates are still going to be on a weekly basis unless things change and I get super busy. Also if you want you can follow my Twitter @lostboyslou because I tweet when I'm writing and stuff. But I hope you enjoy and leave comments/kudos my loves


	8. Chapter 8

Louis and Harry arrived to Harry’s house in a matter of minutes despite it feeling like hours thanks to Louis’ throbbing erection. He didn't know how Harry did it but he somehow made Louis go from crying to horny with a few simple words and soft touches. Harry had to have been lying when he told Louis he wasn't trying to get a rise out of him but then again he sounded serious when he said it. Thank god he managed to think about Liam’s hairy chest to turn himself off. 

Harry’s house was a small, one story home. He didn't want to call it a trailer because that sounded trashy and something told Louis that the inside of Harry’s house would be anything but trashy. The front yard was small and the garden wasn't much to look at either but the weather was to thank for that. Louis would never have guessed that this was Harry’s home. He envisioned a large estate with Doberman Pincher’s sitting at the gates and a little Tea Cup Terrier, too. Louis knew Harry had little quirks because he’s seen them slip out a few times. He also knew that Harry came heavily equipped with a soft side because he’s also got glimpses of that. It was just a matter of breaking past the brick wall of dominance that Harry had constructed all around him. Louis wanted to know the real Harry, not the Dom Harry that he was obviously trying to be as if he had shoes to fill. 

“Do you have any pets?” Louis asked as they left the driveway and walked across the porch to get the front door. 

“No, and I don't plan on having any,” Harry answered Louis’ next question before he could even ask it. He slipped the key into the hole and pushed the door open. 

“You don’t get lonely?” Louis tilted his head as he sure would get lonely if he were in a house all by himself. He got lonely when Zayn, Liam and Niall weren't home for a few hours, he couldn't imagine living on his own. 

“Sometimes.” Harry flicked the light on and Louis raised an eyebrow as he took in the interior. The walls were an egg-shell white and in the first room was a couch then a book shelf parallel to it on the opposite wall. That room led directly into the dining room and medium-sized kitchen then beyond that was a larger living space with two couches, a fireplace, television and back door. It was quite homey and nothing looked too extreme, just an average home.

“It’s cute,” Louis smiled and took off his shoes as Harry did the same before him.

“Thanks, I think,” Harry mumbled and walked into the kitchen with Louis on his heels. Before walking into the dining room they passed a hallway that extended back to three bedrooms and a bathroom.

“Are you going to give me a tour?” Louis shifted on his feet as Harry rummaged through the fridge pulling out a water bottle. 

“It’s not that big of a house,” Harry said and sipped his water. “But I can if you desperately want one.”

“If I’m going to live here then yes I desperately want a tour.”

Harry set his bottle down on the counter and rolled his eyes but abided to Louis’ requests. They started in the front sitting room where Louis was instructed not to touch the books because they were in a certain order. He could only borrow one with permission. Louis found that quite cute that Harry was a book nerd. The dining room and kitchen tour were boring besides Harry telling Louis the organization system in the fridge, and even that wasn't all too exciting. The living room in the back was wide and open with a tall ceiling that not even Harry could jump up to touch. It was the most open room in the house. There was only one bathroom which Louis was used to because he’d been sharing with Zayn. Harry said he always showers in the morning and Louis told him that wouldn’t be a problem since he tends to shower at night. Hopefully, Harry wouldn't make up a rule like Liam had that would only allow them to shower together. He hated mornings and cramped showers unless sexual endeavors were taking place. 

“This is my office and you probably won’t ever be going in there,” Harry said and opened the door. Louis peaked in at the desk pressed against the wall accompanied by piles of papers and folders on desks and filing cabinets. It was definitely no where as near organized as the fridge. 

“What’s your job?” Louis asked as the question had been itching the back of his throat for a while. Harry wasn't filthy rich but he wasn’t dirt poor either. Louis glanced over his shoulder to see Harry contemplating the question like it was going to cost him his life if he answered it wrong. 

“A professor,” he said and gently yanked Louis’ shirt back then closed the office door. Louis raised his eyebrows and smiled as that was a joke no doubt. Harry was too young and there was no way he was a teacher. 

“No you aren’t,” Louis laughed and his smile slowly faded when Harry’s face stayed dead serious. “Oh you- okay um- how did you- you're really young to be a professor,” Louis started with.

“I graduated college in two years because I finished a lot of my credits in high school,” Harry started and Louis attentively listened. He didn’t realize Harry was this smart and determined. For Christ sake, Louis hated school and passed with straight C’s and B’s. He got an A in English once. “Then I finished grad school at 20 and they needed professor to step up so I did,” he shrugged like it wasn't even that big of a deal.

“That’s a lot of school,” Louis narrowed his eyebrows. 

“I wanted to make sure I was settled in and had an early start before I was matched.”

“I never- you don’t look like the teacher type,” Louis commented.

“I’m not in my teacher clothes so that’s probably why,” he smirked then started walking to the two rooms at the end of the hall. “This is the guest room,” he said and flicked the light on since the door was already open. 

“What subject do you teach?” Louis continued to ask as he was curious and Harry never wanted to stay on a topic for more than two minutes. 

“Chemistry.” Louis’ eyes widened and he bit down on his lip.

“So you're a science nerd?” He teased and Harry turned the guest room light off. The two just lingered in the hallway now and Harry turned to face Louis obviously mentally preparing himself for the 20 questions Louis was bound to ask.

“Nothing wrong with that,” he said and licked his lips.

“I failed Chem in high school,” Louis admitted as he didn't really care but Harry looked appalled.

“Well failing won’t be acceptable anymore.”

“But you said I’m not going to school,” Louis tilted his head then a realization hit him and Harry said it before Louis could think it.

“Cause I'm teaching you here,” Harry said then turned and opened the last door. “This is my- our- bedroom,” he corrected himself and turned the light on. Louis slipped around Harry and felt his stomach turn at the thought of Harry and him having their own room. Of course he shared a room with Zayn but he had his own room at the apartment, he just simply stayed in Zayn’s most of the time. Now though, he’d be permanently in a room with Harry. 

"It's- it's nice," he managed to say as he was just taking everything in at this point. Everything in his life was changing and it had only been a matter of hours. A whole day hadn't even passed yet. He's had his status changed, been assigned a Dom, lost his best friend and given a tour of his future home. 

"You alright?" Harry interrupted Louis' thought. Louis blinked a few times in hopes to clear the chaos of emotion inside of his head. 

"Yeah," he nodded. "So um- when am I moving in?" 

"Hopefully this week once you figure out how to get all your stuff from your friends."

Louis sighed and nodded as he couldn't really do anything else. He'd probably call Niall tonight and ask him to ask Liam to start gathering up his things so he wouldn't have to do it. The faster he got out than the less time he would have to spend reminiscing and possibly running into Zayn. 

"Do you want to lay down?" Harry asked which took Louis for a turn. Harry was much less up tight in private. Probably because there was no audience for him to impress. 

"Um yeah- yeah can I?" Louis asked as Harry walked into the room and pulled the covers back. 

"It's your bed, too. You don't need to ask if you can lay down," Harry smirked and slid under the covers. Louis gulped and shuffled to the other side of the bed. He usually doesn't sleep with his clothes on but Harry didn't take his off so he decided against it, too. 

"How come you're all nice and not snippy now?" Louis asked rolling on his side to face the back of Harry's head. They kept their distance on the bed which didn't bother Louis. He's had his dick down his throat but that doesn't mean their closer. 

"Just tired," Harry yawned which made Louis yawn. Louis knew that wasn't the answer and he assumed his theory from earlier about the audience was the best bet he had right now. 

"Oh well- I am, too," Louis nodded and watched Harry, hoping he'd turn around but he never did so Louis just stared until his eyelids got too heavy to hold up anymore. 

Louis woke up to the bed slightly moving. He realized he had rolled towards the center of the bed and was curled up in the soft blankets like a burrito. The edge of the blanket was pulled up to his chin so his eyes were just barely visible. He watched as Harry rustled through one of the dressers and pulled out a shirt. Louis watched as Harry took off his shirt and tossed it into the hamper. His back muscles rippled and twitched making Louis shift on the bed. His tattoos went up to his shoulders in a sporadic manor and he had these cute little back dimples. His cock was begging for attention again and he squeezed his thighs together trying to stop it. 

"You know there's a mirror and I can see you staring at me," Harry spoke casually and Louis' face turned bright red so he pulled the blanket up over his face. He heard Harry walk over and peel the blanket back. 

"Sorry," Louis frowned and bit his lip. Harry's face was closer than it's ever been before. His lips were even fuller and his eyes were so much greener up close. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss him so badly the butterflies in his stomach were creeping up to his chest and fingertips. They even reached his cock that was pushing uncomfortably again his pants. 

"You're allowed to look," Harry chuckled. Louis realized Harry was kneeling on the bed and bending down to face him. His shirt still off and Louis thought he may lose his virginity right now. He wouldn't mind losing it to get it over with but he barely knew Harry. 

"Okay," Louis nodded as he couldn't think of any sassy comment because Harry's body was engulfing his entire mind. 

"We should make that list today," Harry hummed and leaned back against the head board. His eyes flashing with disappointment as if he expected Louis to kiss him. Did Harry want to be kissed? Maybe Louis should've kissed him. But Harry's the Dom he's supposed to make the first move. 

"Yeah," Louis nodded and shimmied up to sit beside Harry, their shoulders brushing. 

"You're being extra shy right now?" Harry caught on and raised an eyebrow. Louis' face flushed and he shook his head. 

"I'm just waking up is all," he mumbled out quickly and forced a yawn. He assumed they slept for an hour or so because the sun was still out. 

"Mhm," Harry rolled his eyes with a tiny smirk.

"What?" Louis pouted and narrowed his eyebrows at Harry. 

"Nothing," Harry shook his head and stood up. "I'm gonna go get us paper and pencils," he said and left the room with that stupid grin on his face. Louis adjusted himself and closed his eyes trying to think of Liam's hairy body again. "Are you meditating?" Harry walked in and Louis opened his eyes quickly. For God's sake why did he have to walk around shirtless. Louis pushed his hand down his pants and gripped his cock trying to pretend Harry was Liam. Except he wasn't. He was a beautifully crafted man with ink splattered onto his v-line and chest an abdomen. 

"No," Louis shifted his legs again squeezing his full cock. 

"What's your hand doing down there?" Harry smirked and crawled into bed holding out a notebook and pencil for Louis to take. 

"I had an itch," Louis mumbled and slowly eased his hand off his cock. He wiped it on his pants and took the notebook and pencil. 

"Seems accurate," Harry hummed. He flipped open to the first page in his notebook. "Write down all your likes first, pertaining to-"

Harry's cock inside of me. Harry's cock inside of my mouth. Harry's head between my thighs. Harry's tongue against my hole. Harry's fingers inside of my hole. Harry's lips marking my body. Harry pulling my hair. Harry biting my lip. Harry sucking my cock. Harry touching my cock. 

"Lou," Harry huffed and Louis snapped out of the daze he fell into. His cock aching and he scrunched his face up. 

"Hmmm?" He mumbled. Harry raised an eyebrow then let out a sigh. Louis watched and felt his breathing pick up as Harry's face got closer. He widened his eyes for a brief moment before letting them shut when Harry's lips found his. He let out a breathy sigh and relaxed his body as Harry's plump lips pushed and pulled against Louis'. 

"What do you want?" Harry whispered and his hand cupped the back of Louis' neck as they kissed. Both of their bodies awkwardly turned to face each other until Louis scooted closer. He shimmied his way onto Harry's lap and let his hand run down his chest. 

He felt drunk and dizzy. He's never felt so good kissing someone before. It was way better than Zayn. He was all tingly and his mind was fuzzy except for the way Harry's lips moved against his and the way Harry's hands rubbed along his thighs. Oh god his thighs. 

"Never mind," Harry chuckled as his hand found Louis' crotch. Louis let out a shuttered gasp and felt the tip of Harry's tongue poke into his mouth. His hand palming against Louis' pants as they circled tongues and exchanged breaths. "Lay down," Harry mumbled and flipped them over slowly. Louis' head rested back against the pillow and their lips disconnected. 

"What are you-" Louis looked down as Harry worked to unbutton his pants. Louis let out a sigh of relief as the restricting material was undone and slipped down his legs. The cool air hitting his legs and he gasped when Harry kissed his thigh. 

"You really do like that don't you?" Harry smiled and peppered more kisses onto his thighs. Louis felt his stomach twisting and he nodded rapidly. His cock needed attention so badly. He hesitated before reaching down to tend to it but Harry smacked his hand away. 

"Sorry," Louis breathed out and tipped his head back feeling Harry's fingers hook into the waistband of his boxers and pull down. He moaned and felt Harry catch his cock before it could spring up against his stomach.

"Who made you this hard?" Harry tilted his head. "Look at me." Louis tilted his chin down and nearly came at the sight of Harry's hand wrapped all the way around his cock. Harry's dark eyes glaring up at Louis full of lust. Louis swore he was going to explode with butterflies. 

"You did," Louis panted and whimpered when Harry pumped his hand a few times. 

"That's what I thought," Harry smirked and Louis watched with wide eyes as Harry dipped his head down between Louis' spread legs. Louis whined and let out a gasp when Harry's lip attached to his inner thigh, sucking roughly on the skin. Louis clenched his thighs together and threw his head back. 

"Harry," he breathed out and wrapped his free leg around Harry's back. Harry hand still working on Louis' leaking cock. "Ah, Harry fuck," he whimpered and shook his head when Harry moved his lips closer to his cock. He could feel the love bite purpling into his tan skin, and he knew more were to follow. Harry flicked his wrist rapidly and Louis curls his fingers into the sheets. "Need you Harry," Louis mumbled and bucked his hips feeling Harry's teeth against the tender skin of his inner thigh. 

"Need me to do what?" Harry mumbled from between Louis' trembling legs. Louis gasped when Harry's head came back up. His lips swollen and covered I saliva. "This?" Harry raised his eyebrow as he opened his mouth letting the tip of Louis' cock enter. Louis nodded rapidly and his stomach twisted into a knot, tighter and tighter. Harry closed his eyes and sank further down Louis' cock, enveloping it into his wet, warm mouth. 

"Harry!" Louis moaned and felt Harry's hands press against his hips to hold him down. He fought against them and tried fucking up into Harry's mouth. His thoughts swirling and he moved his hand to grip Harry's hair. Harry's hand flew up though and took it off immediately. Louis knew it was a dominance thing. He watched as his cock disappeared into Harry's mouth and his stomach began dropping. "I'm gonna- I'm- fuck Harry," he groaned as Harry's tongue rolled against his cock pressing into the pulsing vein on the underside. Louis squeezed his eyes shut and came down Harry's throat without much of a warning. He could tell Harry wasn't happy the moment he pulled off. 

"Did I say you could come?" Harry wiped his lips and sat back. Louis steadied his breathing and frowned. 

"You didn't say anything, my cock was down your throat," Louis blurted out then put his hand over his mouth.


	9. Chapter 9

Louis honestly didn't think Harry could move so fast and he didn't think he could go from horny to horrified so fast either. He didn't mean to say that out loud - let alone say it at all- but he’s always been horrible at biting his tongue. He could almost feel the anger radiating off of Harry’s body as he tossed Louis over his lap, ass up, face down. Harry’s thighs weren't the most comfortable thing he’s ever lied on but he could envision a worse punishment opposed to spanking. Zayn had never spanked Louis before which Louis realized should've been something they experimented with because he loved the feeling of Harry’s hand slapping down onto his ass. His skin stung like a million bee stings and his muscles tightened up preparing for another spank.

“Don’t ever come without my permission, do you understand?” Harry snapped and Louis didn't think Harry’s voice was that low. Then again, he’s never seen Harry get mad like this before, especially over something sexual. It had to be a Dom thing to have your sub obey your rules. As Harry’s hand came crashing down on Louis’ plump, jiggly bum he realized that this was all very much real. Harry was a real Dom and not some softy, kiss-over like Zayn. He had Dominance coursing through his veins and it was an instinct to punish Louis as a disobedient sub- his sub. Zayn never felt inclined to fully dominance Louis because they weren't a true match. Louis knew that him and Harry both had Dom instincts out of the bedroom and that’s why they clashed so much but in the bedroom their was no doubt which role fell to who. Of course, Louis slipped up on calling Harry out earlier but that was a mistake. Louis very much liked to be dominated in the bed and Harry very much liked to do the dominating. “Do you understand me?!” Harry repeated louder and his hand clapped down loudly on Louis’ now red cheek. 

“Mhm,” Louis nodded and chewed on his lip feeling the numbness start to spread out over his ass. It would be sore for the rest of the night he was sure of that. His mind was still fuzzy from the previous orgasm and he let his head fall feeling Harry’s hand connect to his cheek again.

“Say my name.”

Louis whimpered as his ass actually started to hurt. It was numb but it was the kind of numb that you feel when your foot falls asleep, like pins and needles. “Daddy,” he whined and his toes curled inward. He took deep breaths feeling something hard under his stomach and it wasn't his own cock. A smirk pulled on his lips and he wiggled his bum slightly. “Mmmm Daddy,” he moaned just loud enough for Harry to make out the words. Harry’s hand made contact with Louis’ cheek again but this time it was a gentle caress. 

“Does Daddy’s baby understand the rules now?” He whispered and his fingertips grazed against Louis puckered hole. Louis gasped and clenched as he wasn't sure about being fingered right after a blow job. Of course he wanted it but he was tired and his ass really did burn.  
“Yes Daddy,” Louis nodded and slightly turned his head to look up at Harry with pleading eyes. He knew the length of Harry’s fingers and he was very much aware of the rings Harry wore that were bound to be cold against Louis’ walls. 

“How about you go take a shower now?” Harry said and Louis let out a sigh of relief. He wanted those fingers inside of him but not right now. 

“Okay,” Louis mumbled and Harry helped him off of his lap. He felt very exposed all of a sudden but he was comfortable with it. He assumed it was because they were matched. It was as if their bodies and sex-minds were in sync but their actually personalities weren’t. Louis shuffled out of the bedroom and down the hall to the shower. He kind of wished Harry was going to join him because he wanted to suck his Dom’s cock again but Harry told him to shower so he was going to be a good sub and shower. 

After spending five minutes figuring out the hot and cold water handle Louis finally stepped into the shower. He liked his showers hot so the bathroom was filled with steam in a matter of minutes. The water cascading down his curves as he tipped his head back. He has needed a shower since this morning, not to get clean but to clear his thoughts. However, his thoughts only seemed to accumulate more like the steam in the room. He thought abut what Zayn was doing, all alone in the apartment while Liam and Niall loved up on each other. He thought about the look on Zayn’s face when he told Louis he loved him. He was serious and maybe Louis should've just stayed in the car. They could've gotten paired together, they could've made them switch the system like they did for Louis and Harry. He could still be at home cuddled on the couch with Niall during the day stealing kisses while Liam and Zayn were at work. He could be getting ready for a family dinner despite Liam arguing with him. He could be in Zayn’s arms. 

Louis stopped trying to hold back the tears because it only made his insides feel worse. The tears mixed in with the shower water as he washed his hair and body. He wanted Zayn back, he didn't want to start over. But the way Harry made him feel was everything. He didn't want to lose that feeling, ever.

“Unless you want to start paying the bills you better almost be done in there.” Harry knocked on the door and Louis looked up. He had sank down to sit on the floor letting the water spray down on him, his legs pulled up to his chest. His heart hurt and he had a pounding headache.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Louis called and pulled himself up. He rubbed at his eyes trying to rid them of their redness. He was thankful that Harry and him weren't to the stage of connection that allowed them to feel each others emotions. That came with time and Louis knew that’s what he needed to fix all of this. Time. He needed time to let go and time to move on but it was so hard to think about when he had no desire to let go.

Louis slipped out of the bathroom in a towel and entered the empty bedroom. His eyes immediately went to the folded clothes on the edge of the bed that weren't his. He glanced back at the bedroom door but Harry wasn’t there. The shirt was way too big on him but it smelt so much like Harry and he felt like Harry was holding him- although that’s never really happened before. The sweatpants needed to be folded twice and even they they still dragged under his heels which was actually much more comfortable than them sitting perfectly around his ankles. He hung the towels back up in the bathroom and made his way out to the dining room and kitchen that connected openly to the two living areas. No Harry. He pouted and checked back in the laundry room which was tucked in a small hallway behind the kitchen. Harry wasn't there either. He walked back towards the bedroom then stopped at the only door on the right. Harry’s office. 

“Harry?” He knocked softly not sure of Harry’s rules pertaining to his work. They really needed to make that list. 

“You can come in.” Louis let out a deep breath and slowly entered seeing Harry standing, flipping through papers.

“What are you doing?” Louis tilted his head and stepped closer. 

“Trying to find where I put all your syllabus.”

“Syllabus?”

“Yes, I’m not holding your hand through the schooling. I’ll teach you in my office on Monday’s and Wednesday’s since those are my busy days and I don’t have time to commute home.”

“What about Tuesday and Thursdays?” Louis asked praying he’d get those days off. He didn't even see the point in learning if he wasn’t going to work. At least, he assumed he wouldn’t be working for a while, and even if he did it wouldn't be anything boring. 

“I’ll only teach you Monday and Wednesday so the rest of the days you can work on your homework.”

“Homework? Is that necessary?” Louis raised an eyebrow and plopped down in the black leather spinny office chair. 

“After I checked your high school grades on my computer it is,” Harry hummed.

“Those subjects were hard and two years ago. I’ve gotten smarter, at least common sense wise,” Louis mumbled and tucked his legs up to his chest.

“I wouldn't bet on that,” Harry said and pulled a folder out. “Here,” he held the blue folder out to Louis that had a label printed on it: Sub’s Syllabus.

“Sounds more like a sex checklist.” Louis noted with a smile and Harry rolled his eyes.  
“We need to make that list, too,” Harry mumbled and leaned back against of the small side tables. 

“A sex list?”

“I can’t by tying you to the bed if you don’t want to be tied to the bed,” Harry said casually and Louis squirmed in his seat. He squirmed at the fact Harry was even thinking about tying him up. It made the butterflies start up again. 

“Right,” Louis nodded and set the folder down on the desk. 

“Somethings wrong, out with it,” Harry spoke up after a minute of uncomfortable silence. Louis felt his heart tighten and the lump in his throat get thicker until he felt like choking. He couldn't open his mouth or else he’d start crying. “Did I hurt you?” Harry frowned and it was so sincere that Louis felt bad for even making Harry think that.

“N-no,” he immediately shook his head letting Harry know that he wasn't the reason for this. It was Zayn. It was always Zayn’s fault. 

“Does it have to do with that bracelet around your wrist?” Harry asked and Louis hesitated but he nodded. His bottom lip jutting out and trembling. He looked down at the bracelet and broke down in silent tears. He shouldn't even be crying over Zayn, he has Harry now, he’ always have Harry. Louis picked at the bracelet and examined the diamond studded ‘Z’ pendent that was so so pretty. It was a promise to their friendship and to them and to their love and Louis could feel his heart strings snapping the more he looked. Harry’s hand came into view and grabbed Louis’ hand.

“What are you doing?” Louis sniffled and tried pulling his hand back. Harry held Louis’ arm still with one hand and wiggled the bracelet off past Louis’ curling fingers.

“Taking the first step for you,” he huffed and Louis watched as the bracelet disappeared into the top drawer of the filing cabinet. 

“Harry that was special to me,” Louis hiccuped and stood up. His eyebrows narrowed and he just wanted to slam Harry in the face with a door like he did to him.

“Well there’s going to be lots of special things in your life but you can’t keep holding on to that one.” Louis shook his head and stepped forward trying to maneuver around Harry to get to the drawer.

“It wasn’t doing any harm,” he sniffled trying to sound more mad than upset.

“How many times have you looked at the bracelet and thought about him?” Harry raised a brow and put his hands on Louis’ shoulders to keep him still. Louis had looked at the bracelet too many times and each glance cut another mark into his heart making it bleed faster, making it hurt so much more. 

“But now it’s bare and I’ll just think about if it were there,” Louis mumbled refusing to answer Harry’s question out loud. Thinking about it was enough. Louis glanced up and watched as Harry swiveled his head to look around. 

“Here wear this then,” Harry walked to his desk and picked up a blue rubber band. “and if you think about him then you snap yourself on the wrist.” He slid the rubber band on Louis’ wrists and Louis snapped it against his skin.

“Ouch,” he pouted as he didn't realize how far he had pulled back.

“Now you have a thought with a feeling of physical pain,” Harry explained and Louis just nodded wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I don’t want to hate him,” Louis frowned and snapped the rubber band again.

“You won’t hate him. You clearly loved him which means he has a part of you and you have a part of him and those two pieces aren't ever going to get returned but you'll both move on and find better pieces of someone else."

“Since when were you such a romantic?” Louis smiled softly and pushed his damp fringe off of his forehead only to have it fall back into place.

“Since my sub was hurting,” Harry sighed under his breath.


	10. Chapter 10

Louis knew he didn't deserve the cup of tea and heated blanket afterwards. He just cried to his Dom, the person he's supposed to love most, about loving someone else. He sighed and sipped the last drops of the warm tea before setting the empty mug on the night stand table. The heated blanket warmed his legs and he had it tucked under his sore ass, as well. Only one day had passed as being Harry's sub and he was sure he failed. Even if Harry didn't admit it he had to hate Louis for being so difficult. Louis complained, he disobeyed, he cried. It was a huge mess and it was catching up to Louis. His eyes were heavy and it felt like a train hit him with emotions until he was splattered flat and lifeless on the ground. Tomorrow could be better, he promised to make it better. 

Louis shifted in bed and woke up to a obnoxious beeping noise. It was loud and Louis wanted to kill whatever it was. He was only half-awake when he felt the body beside him move away to stop the noise. Louis yawned and turned back over feeling two muscular arms pull him back against a strong chest. He felt butterflies and sucked in his stomach when Harry's fingers pushed his shirt up to trace small shapes into his tummy. He simply smiled and slowly fell back asleep feeling his Dom's warm, somehow comforting breath against the back of his neck. 

The second time Louis woke up the space beside him was empty. He stretched out and glanced at the time on his phone also seeing a text from Niall. He frowned and slid his finger across the screen to read it. 

Niall: hi Louis I miss you a lot and you probably didn't call because you're busy but I just wanted to say goodnight and I hope your Dom is good to you. He seemed really protective and he wasn't bad to look at either. Goodnight again and I love you

Louis smiled and felt his stomach tighten up at the thought of Niall staying up late waiting for the phone call he promised him. He sighed and checked the time but decided it was too early to call Niall now. He'd call later when Niall was awake and home alone. It was 6:30 in the morning and Louis was exhausted and it felt like Antartica when he had reached his arm out from under the blanket to get his phone. He heard the shower running so he forced himself out of bed. He gulped and slowly pushed open the bathroom door. 

"I was gonna let you sleep in," Harry said from the shower and Louis stayed quiet as he slid his pants down. He watched the curtain hoping Harry wouldn't look out to see him stripping naked. Niall always joined Liam for his showers and Niall was an excellent sub. "What are you doing?" Harry asked and Louis got closer to the shower slowly pulling the curtain back. He looked up and saw Harry staring at him covered in drops of water. His thick brown hair damped down and framing his face. 

"I need to shower, too," he mumbled still groggy with sleep. He nervously stepped into the shower and kept his eyes up although he knew he wouldn't be able to keep his dick down. It was inevitable. 

"I'm almost done," Harry said and his eyes flicked down then back up making Louis blush. "But I have a few minutes to spare," he smirked. Louis nodded and proceeded to climb all the way into the shower. He kept his eyes up and saw Harry smirk. "You look half-asleep," he chuckled. "Are you even awake?" He smiled and waved his hand in front of Louis' face. 

"It's really early," Louis shrugged stepping to the side to get the shampoo bottle. He felt Harry's large hand grip his elbow and he frowned. 

"I'll wash it," Harry hummed releasing Louis' arm to get the bottle. Louis turned around and felt a good kind of uneasy as his bum was facing Harry. He closed his eyes almost falling asleep to the feeling of Harry's fingertips massaging his scalp. He moaned then bit his lip to quiet himself. 

"What was that?" Harry whispered and gently pulled Louis' hair back to tilt his chin up. Louis shifted on his feet and gasped at the press of Harry's lip on his neck. Louis shivered feeling Harry's free hand trail around his waist and down to his cock. "How's this?" He roughly whispered into Louis' skin. Louis melted into his touch and leaned back pressing their wet bodies together. Harry's hard cock pressed against Louis' plush ass.

Louis whimpered and leaned his head back against Harry's shoulder. Harry's hand working in teasing strokes up and down his filling cock. He wasn't awake enough for this. 

"You like that baby?" Harry whispered against Louis' ear before biting his earlobe. "Hmm?"

Louis nodded and slid his hand up his own chest to play with his pert nipple. Harry's breath sliding along his skin along with the warm water. His insides twisting at each tug of his cock. 

"Yeah," Louis breathed out and his head yanked back from Harry's pull. 

"Say it like you mean it," he growled and Louis parted his lips. His cock aching at how aggressive Harry got. He loved it. 

"Yes daddy," Louis whined and his hair was released. He let his head fall forward and tensed up seeing the way Harry's hand worked on his cock. His eyes watched as his fingers wrapped tightly around his length pulling and pumping until Louis' legs were shaking. "Can-can I come?" Louis whimpered knowing he had to ask for permission. He learned that the hard way, not that he didn't enjoy the spanking. Louis scrunched his face up as he didn't get a response from Harry, only more tugs on his throbbing cock. He needed to come. Zayn never made him hold off like this. He whimpered in discomfort and turned his head facing Harry. "Please?" He whined and Harry shook his head, his fingers releasing Louis' cock. Louis frowned and reached down to hold his cock but Harry yanked his hands away. "Please Harry," Louis begged, his voice high as he was struggling. 

His eyes widened and he flew his hand down to grab his cock pushing his thumb over the leaking tip. Harry's finger slid into his hole and curled around. Louis gasped and shifted on his feet trying to step away but Harry's free hand pushed on his stomach to keep him pressed against his finger. 

"Harry I can't-" Louis whined and shook his head feeling tears in his eyes. "Ah," he whimpered when Harry added another finger starting to scissor Louis open. "Harry I-" Louis hesitated as he knew Harry wanted to fuck him. He's gonna hate him for being a virgin. Louis didn't want to lose it this way though. Harry's finger pressed further until it hit the bundle of nerves and Louis let himself come. He prayed that would make Harry stop and spank him instead of fuck him. 

"Do you not listen?" Harry huffed and pulled his finger out. Louis panted heavily still riding out his orgasm as Harry pressed down on his back and bent him over. Louis widened his eyes and shook his head. 

"Harry," he whimpered. "Stop, stop, stop!" He quickly blurted out feeling the tip of Harry's cock against his tight hole. 

"What?" Harry snapped and Louis could feel the tears running down his face. 

"I'm a virgin," he whispered shakily under his breath. His breathing still unsteady from the orgasm and from being scared out of his mind. 

"Finish showering then," Harry grumbled and he didn't sound happy. Louis quickly stood up straight and watched Harry climb out of the shower to dry off. Louis heard Harry rustling around at the sink before he left the bathroom and slammed the door. 

Louis winced and wiped his face with the back of his hands. Things were going so well and then Louis had to go and fuck it all up. He washed his hair and took his time washing his body feeling dirty even for a virgin. He really should've guessed that Harry would've wanted to have sex sooner than later. Louis just didn't want it to be in that moment. 

Louis slipped out of the shower and dried off with the soft black towel. He didn't have his toothbrush here so he just used Harry's. He stepped out of the shower and realized it was oddly quiet. The bedroom was empty except a pile of neatly stacked clothes on the edge of the bed and a note.

I had to go to work, I was running late. You can wear these clothes today and I expect most of your stuff to be moved in by the end of today. I'll be home around 6 with dinner. 

Louis frowned and crumpled the note up throwing it at the wall. He's so stupid. He's such horrible sub and now Harry hates him. He doesn't even have a car to get to his old apartment. He quickly changed into the too big clothes and went into the kitchen for food. He decided on a bowl of cereal since he wasn't in the mood to cook and possibly fuck up Harry's stove like he fucks up everything else. He sat alone at the table and ate slowly feeling the urge to cry. He sniffled and placed his bowl in the sink before going to the bedroom. 

"It's really early Louis," Niall whined into the phone and Louis smiled softly at his sweet little tired voice. He assumed Liam was at work already. Zayn doesn't leave until later.

"I know but- I promised to call," Louis said and blinked away the tears. "Can I- what are you doing today?"

"Nothing except sleeping probably," Niall yawed. "Why is something wrong?" 

"No- yes- I don't know," Louis sighed. "Can I come over? Or can you come pick me up? You can take my car because I need to start packing," Louis explained as he only wanted Niall home. He didn't need to deal with Liam and definitely not Zayn. 

"Can I sleep a little longer?" Niall mumbled and Louis heard the blankets rustling. Niall wasn't supposed to leave the house without Liam's permission but Niall would do anything for Louis. 

About an hour later Louis glanced outside and saw Niall pull up in his car. He quickly scurried out of the house and into the car. He didn't have a key to lock the house but he prayed no one broke in. He got into the car and leaned across the center console giving Niall the biggest hug possible. He was so warm and felt so much like home. 

"I've missed you," Louis mumbled. 

"It's only been a day," Niall chuckled and pulled away. "Is it that bad with Harry?" He frowned. 

"No, of course not," Louis quickly shook his head. "It's just- I'm doing a shit job and he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Lou," Niall sighed. "You're both just adjusting that's all. I mean it's in your nature not to be a sub and it's probably weird for him to be with a Dom, you know?"

"This was such a stupid idea..." Louis sank down in his chair. "I should've just- but we were paired together. It's not like I was actually paired with a sub from the start then switched to have Harry."

"I think it's just going to take time. Liam and I didn't get along too well at first but now look at us," Niall smiled. "I love him to bits."

"I guess," Louis shrugged. "We should go so I can get my things faster and get out." Louis just wanted to get the day over with. He just wanted all of the days to pass until he felt comfortable and completely in love with Harry. He didn't want to have to wait. 

They arrived at the apartment and Louis climbed out of the car. He missed it so much. The simplicity of it all. Of not having to worry about pleasing a Dom. Of not being tied down. Everything was so different now and it had only been one God damn day.

"Is it all going to fit in your car?" Niall asked as they walked inside. He handed Louis' car keys back to him. 

"I'm not taking two trips," Louis mumbled looking around at his home. He still called it his home. Harry's place was simply a house with no memories or love. The apartment was his home. 

"Lou?" Niall frowned and gently touched his shoulder scaring him out of his daze. "Maybe you could ask Harry to live here with us."

"He wouldn't," Louis huffed and started walking to his room. Only a few things would be in there anyway. All of it was in Zayn's room which he wanted to save for last. "I'll get used to it though," he mumbled and swallowed the lump in his throat. He started pulling clothes from drawers and the closet. Niall helped by collecting up the toiletries in the bathroom. 

"Does he treat you good?" Niall asked as he sat on the bed pairing socks together for Louis. Louis paused and nodded. 

"He tries," Louis sighed and plopped down on the bed beside Niall. "He hasn't hurt me if that's what you mean. He's just very straight forward with things."

"Have you- you know- had sex yet?" Niall asked and Louis winced. If he was going to talk to somebody about it then he was glad it was Niall. 

"No, but we've done everything else just about," Louis admitted and he felt like such a slut. They'd been together one day and already got around the bases. 

"I um- it helps," Niall said shyly. "To have sex with your Dom early. It helps make the bond stronger."

Louis sighed and laid back staring at the ceiling. "But I'm a virgin, Niall, and I told him and he got mad and left. He's coming back but he got mad and I know I'm doing such a shit job at being a sub."

"I was a virgin before Liam."

"Don't lie to me," Louis huffed and glanced over at Niall. 

"No really, I didn't even know what a dick looked like besides mine," he chuckled and Louis cracked a smile. 

"But did Liam get mad?" Niall remained quiet and Louis sighed. "He hates me."

"He doesn't. It's impossible to hate your match."

"Who said that?" Louis poured and turned on his side to face Niall. 

"Well it's probably written somewhere but remember that time Liam and I got in that big fight?"

"Yeah," Louis nodded. He's never heard Niall yell like that before. "You never told me what it was about."

"Okay well looking back at it now it was really stupid but it was after we had dinner with my brother. So when we got back home Liam started telling me everything he hated about Greg as if he wasn't my brother and it really hurt me. So I started yelling at him because I wasn't gonna let him just talk about Greg like that. Then Liam got mad and   
took my favorite blanket, the blue one with the stars, and marched all the way out to the dumpster and just threw it in."

"You still have the blanket though," Louis interrupted. 

"Yeah because I made him go get it. Anyway, I was crying and screaming and in my head I wanted to hate him. I wanted to like rip his insides out but I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to hate him and he couldn't hate me for yelling at him. We were so much better off coming up with a compromise and apologizing. I know it's not the best story but like- you're matched for a reason."

"But that was over a blanket, this is over my virginity," Louis frowned. 

"It doesn't matter, Harry doesn't hate you. No one could hate you, Lou," Niall smiled and climbed on top of him. "You're like a ball of sunshine."

"That's you," Louis smiled and met Niall's bright blue eyes. "Did you really make Liam go dumpster diving?" He laughed. 

"All the way to the bottom," Niall grinned. 

"Come cuddle," Louis huffed and grabbed Niall's shirt pulling him beside him. They wrapped their arms around each other and Niall his his face in Louis' chest. "So what do I do?"

"About Harry?" Niall mumbled and hiked his leg overtop of Louis' hip. 

"Mhm," Louis hummed and played with Niall's fluffy blonde hair. 

"Talk to him. You can't just ignore each other," Niall explained and glanced up at Louis. "I know you don't see it but he really cares about you. No one ever talks to Liam like that and the look in his eyes when he looked at you was- it was like a movie."

"You've been watching too many Hallmark films," Louis rolled his eyes. 

"No I haven't," Niall whined and his his face again. "Just talk to him," he mumbled and snuggled closer to Louis' body. 

"Okay okay," Louis said and rested his chin on Niall's head. It was only 9 am and Louis has never been up that early so a short nap wouldn't hurt. 

Louis woke up to Niall wiggling off of him. He glanced at the time on his phone and yawned as it was already noon. How did they sleep so long? 

"Good morning," Niall teased and stretched his arms out. Louis groaned and sat up just wanting to stay in bed forever. Niall was hands down the best cuddler. He was all soft and gently and always made sure to put his body as close as possible to yours. Sub-nature is what Louis assumed. 

"Morning," Louis laughed and glanced at Niall. He wish he could take Niall with him to Harry's house. Liam and Zayn would probably make a good couple anyway. 

"Do you want to finish packing?" Niall asked. "I could make some mac n cheese." He offered and Louis nodded. Louis spent the next thirty minutes taking his bags from his room to his car. The only thing left to pack was the stuff in Zayn's room. Niall was occupied in the kitchen so Louis shuffled into the room. It smelt so much like Zayn that it hurt. Everything was still exactly where he left it. He sat the bag down on the ground and walked around. His fingertips tracing over the dresser and the tv. He slowly sat down on the bed and frowned. It was so cozy. He scooted back and slid under the covers on Zayn's side. Zayn always slept on the right side and Louis on the left even though they'd end up cuddled in the middle. Louis closed his eyes and just took everything in one last time. He heard footsteps and sighed assuming Niall was done the Mac n Cheese. The comforter lifted up and Louis narrowed his eyebrows as he felt an arm loop around him from behind.

"You're on my side of the bed," Zayn whispered and kissed Louis' temple.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry :)(:

Louis gasped and turned around. His heart beating against his chest he swore Zayn could here it. 

"You're supposed to be at work," Louis mumbled and tried getting up but Zayn pulled him back down. 

"Did you forget I always come home around noon for lunch?" He chuckled and Louis mentally cursed at himself. Of course he knew that. He shrugged and kept his eyes down before feeling Zayn gently tug on the blue rubber band around his wrist. "What's this?" He asked and there was a sound of hurt in his voice. 

"Um- Harry didn't want me wearing your bracelet so he gave me this one," Louis explained.

"My bracelet looked so much better on you," Zayn hummed and slid the band off of Louis' wrist tossing it into the ground. Louis never used the band against his skin like Harry told him to because he didn't really think it would help for this kind of situation. 

They laid in silence a while longer with Zayn's eyes on Louis and Louis' eyes on the sheets below them. He felt the guilt creeping up the back of his throat before he let it get the best of him. 

"I-I'm sorry for- for saying what I said about Ryan," Louis blurted out as he needed to get the apology off of his chest. 

"It's okay," Zayn sighed and reached up pushing Louis' hair out of his face. "I'm sorry for pushing you and being a complete dick." Zayn paused and Louis watched his dark golden eyes. "I miss you."

"Zayn," Louis groaned. "Every time I- why can't you just keep your words to yourself because every time I try to push you away you say stuff like that. It doesn't help," Louis frowned. 

"Maybe you don't want to push me away," Zayn said and Louis' heart twisted. 

"I have Harry now," Louis said and looked down. "I can't be with you like that anymore."

"Who says?" Zayn huffed and tilted Louis' chin up. "He doesn't even know you, he doesn't even love you."

"It just takes time, Zayn. Niall said it takes time but one day Harry and I will be perfect together."

"I doubt it," Zayn rolled his eyes. 

"Shut up," Louis huffed and sat up. "You're just jealous. I know you're jealous I can tell. And I know you're hurting but you have to be happy for me because I finally got what I wanted. I'm a sub. I'm a real sub Zayn with a real Dom." Louis widened his eyes as Zayn sat up and pinned him down onto the bed. 

"You were a sub with me and I'm a real Dom. There's no difference at all. Just because some stupid system decides who we get to love doesn't mean you have to listen to it," Zayn snapped and Louis wiggled around under him. 

"The system is always right. I'm sorry you don't have-" Louis started then felt Zayn's lips on his. He tensed up then relaxed at the familiar feeling. It was home. Zayn's lips felt like home. They always had. Louis relaxed and lifted his head up kissing Zayn sweetly. Zayn scooted Louis back on the bed more and Louis wrapped his arms around his neck. 

"Please let me love you right one last time?" Zayn whispered into Louis' mouth. Louis breathed heavily and parted his lips letting Zayn's tongue slip into his mouth. There were no butterflies but it felt right. 

"O-okay," Louis gulped and fluttered his eyelashes at Zayn. There eyes gazing into one another.

"Have you and him-"

"Not yet," Louis breathed. "But I-but I don't want to lose it to him," Louis spoke without really thinking. 

"I should've taken it the night before you got tested," Zayn whispered and shimmied Louis' pants down. Louis lifted his hips up and gasped feeling Zayn move his legs up around his waist. His cock tenting in his boxers. 

"Will it hurt?" Louis mumbled and moaned as Zayn rolled his hips down. 

"Maybe a little," Zayn whispered. "But I'll be gentle," he cooed and kissed Louis softly. His hand reaching down to rub Louis' cock through his boxers. Louis tugged on the bottom of Zayn's shirt and eased it up over his head and arms. The world was spinning in slow motion and his mind in a haze. He was going to actually bottom for once. For the first time Louis would get to experience sex as a sub. Louis tilted his head back as Zayn crawled down his body. His boxers came off in a swift motion before Zayn was pushing his legs up. His hole was already stretched from this morning but Zayn entered in two fingers after getting them lubed up. 

"Zayn," Louis gasped and bit down on his lip. "F-fuck," he cursed as Zayn started to massage his prostate. He knew exactly where to make Louis weak. "Ah shit, right there," Louis groaned and widened his eyes as Zayn dipped his head down. Louis gripped his black hair and tightened his grasp as Zayn's warm tongue flicked against his hole. "Fuck- fuck I need you, I nee-"

"What do you need, baby?" Zayn whispered then dove his tongue back into Louis' begging hole. 

"I need you- need you to fill me up," Louis groaned and rolled his hips back against Zayn's face. Zayn lapped a few more times at Louis' puckered hole before sitting up. His pants were already unbuttoned and the tip of his cock was poking out of the waistband of his boxers. He reached over in the nightstand table and grabbed a condom. Louis watched as he rolled it on, his legs spread as Zayn prepped himself and Louis' hole with more lube. 

"Okay?" Zayn hummed and leaned up kissing Louis' forehead. Louis nodded and bit his lip roughly as Zayn positioned his tip against Louis' hole. Louis gasped and felt his walls stretch around the tip. He hissed and Zayn stopped but got an okay nod from Louis to keep going. His stomach clenched as Zayn eased halfway into him. "Alright baby?" He asked and Louis nodded again. His eyes squeezed shut to prevent the tears from coming through. "You feel so good," Zayn whispered into Louis' ear. His hips starting to slowly move back and forth. Louis gasped and spread his legs to give Zayn more room. Zayn hoisted Louis' legs up around his waist so he was hanging on like a koala bear. His back pressed into the bed as Zayn's chest was pressed against his. 

"Oh- oh Zayn," Louis whined as Zayn's hips began thrusting a bit faster. Louis rolled his ass back to meet the thrust taking in Zayn's length completely. "Oh yeah, right there," Louis threw his head back relaxing his muscles as Zayn began thrusting harder. The bed squeaked like it always did whenever they got frisky on it. Louis whimpered and felt Zayn's lips sucking on his neck. His mind was foggy and his stomach turned with pleasure and a little bit of illness. He ignored the bad feeling though. 

"You like that? Hmm?" Zayn groaned. "Like my cock inside of you?" He growled and Louis nodded rapidly. Zayn knew Louis liked it rough. He always had. Louis' breathing got heavier and he scratched his nails down Zayn's back as his body jolted with each thrust. "Want to ride me baby?" Zayn panted into Louis' skin. Louis nodded as his Dom instincts kicked in. Being a power bottom at times was a win win for Louis. Zayn pulled out and Louis whimpered at the loss. They quickly switched spots and Louis put his legs on either side of Zayn. "You're so pretty baby. Gonna sit on my cock and take it all in like a good boy," he cooed and Louis wiggled his hips to line up Zayn's cock. He slowly sank down and gasped. Zayn's cock disappearing into his hole and his walls clenching around it. 

"Shit," Louis hummed and relaxed to get adjusted to the new position. He took deep breaths and felt Zayn rubbing his thighs causing his cock to twitch. He moaned and started rolling his hips back and forth then side to side. He was born for this. Louis quickened his movements then began bouncing up and down eliciting loud groans from the Dom's lips. Louis whined and felt Zayn's hand pumping on his cock. 

"You gonna come baby? Come all over me hmm?" Zayn hummed and Louis whined. A knot twisting in his stomach and working its way done to his cock. 

"F-fuck," Louis breathed out and scrunched his face up. "Can I- can I come?" Louis asked as he didn't want to be punished again. Louis nearly froze and his eyes widened. Harry. Louis panted heavily and tried pushing his orgasm away but he was already so close. 

"I bet Harry would never fuck you like this," Zayn growled and Louis felt pain rip through his heart. He whimpered and came all over Zayn's hand and stomach. He climbed off of Zayn and threw himself off of the bed landing on the floor with a thud. His heart felt like it was snapped in half and his lungs were deflated. He was half in a daze from orgasming as he wrestled his pants onto his legs. "Louis what are you doing?" Zayn sat up but Louis grabbed his shirt and threw it on over his head. He ignored Zayn completely and refused to even look at him. He stumbled out of the room and held onto the walls for support. 

"Louis?" Niall frowned as he was sitting on the couch with two bowls of Mac n Cheese. His face told Louis that he knew. Niall knew he just had sex with Zayn. He just cheated on Harry. "Louis sit down please," Niall stood up and reached out to help Louis balance. Louis swatted him away and snatched his car keys from the key rack. "Louis stop," Niall frowned and chased after him to his car. Louis felt the world spinning and he felt like he was drowning. He cheated. He's a slut. He's such a fuck up. 

"I have to go see him," Louis blurted out and slid into the car. His hair a mess and face sweaty. Niall frowned and gripped the door preventing Louis from closing it. 

"You can't drive. You could barely walk," he whimpered but Louis started the car. "Louis." 

"Shut up Niall. You could've stopped me! You knew and you just- get away. I need to see him," he panted and started to drive away. Niall released the door and Louis slammed it shut, speeding off to Harry's house. 

~ 

"Mr. Styles?" A girl asked and Harry looked up from his desk. His heart hurt, a lot. He assumed he ate something bad or maybe he was having a heart attack. Although all he had to eat was a bagel and coffee and he was only 24, do heart attacks happen that young?

"Hmm?" He hummed feeling the pain getting worse. He wanted to rip his heart out. 

"You- are you alright?" She asked and Harry nodded. "You've been sitting like that for twenty minutes," she mumbled and he frowned. He had the students working on their lab manuals so he wasn't teaching but he assumed the students eventually picked up on his pain. 

He held his head in his hands and closed his eyes. His heart felt like a spike ball against his chest and he had a sudden urge to check if Louis was okay. He stood up and grabbed his things. 

"Class is dismissed," he said quickly and darted out of the classroom. What if Louis was hurt? Something was wrong, he could feel it. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three updates in one day, you all are blessed!! But there's a small mention of rape in this chapter, nothing too serious just wanted to forewarn you. Hope you all enjoy!

Harry couldn't figure out why but he just knew something was wrong and it involved Louis. Of course he was the one hurting, at least he hoped he was the only one hurting. If Louis was hurting he couldn't live with himself knowing he left on bad terms and left Louis all alone. It was so stupid to run from Louis like that. What if he would've actually had sex with Louis and Louis didn't speak up to stop him? God, Harry could never imagine how he would feel if that would've happened. He wouldn't even be able to look Louis in the eyes. 

Harry just needed to get to work and he was horny and Louis left him hanging. He really should've talked it out with him but he just wished Louis would've told him sooner, not that it even came up in conversation. He sighed and tapped his fingers against the steering wheel letting his heart drag him home. He'd have to talk about this morning with Louis but only after he figured out what was wrong. He got home and parked the car. The front door was unlocked which petrified him because somebody could've broken in. What if Louis was gone? Harry busted through the front door and was met with silence. 

"Louis!?" He yelled and ran into the bedroom. The clothes were gone and the note was crumpled up on the floor. He checked the guest room, the bathroom, his office, the laundry room and even the small backyard. He frowned and pulled his phone out quickly dialing Louis' number. "Pick up, pick up," he whispered and paced back and forth in the living room. 

~

Louis barely made it home alive as his head hurt and his heart was aching. He could barely breath. He parked his car and stumbled to the front door. Harry's car was in the driveway which he didn't expect. He was gonna wait for him to get home at 6, he couldn't do this now. 

"Louis?!" Harry's voice appeared and Louis winced. He wasn't even fully inside the house before Harry was pulling him into a tight hug. "Jesus Christ, where were you? What were you doing? I had such a bad feeling are you okay?" Harry frowned looking Louis up and down. His eyes freezing on Louis' neck. Louis stepped back and hit the front door. "Louis..." Harry frowned and Louis reached back looking for the door handle. "What- what is that?" Harry said and motioned to the hickey Zayn left. Louis reached up and covered his hand over the mark. 

"I-I-I- he-" Louis stuttered but couldn't get himself to confess. 

"Was it Zayn?" Harry snapped and he sounded extremely angry but not at Louis. "What did he do to you Louis?" Harry growled and Louis frowned. Harry thought this was all Zayn's fault, he though Zayn forced himself onto Louis. 

"He didn't," Louis shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "He-I- I just-"

"You gotta tell me Louis, this is serious," Harry still thought Zayn raped him. 

"I-I-I wanted it," Louis whimpered and hid his face. "I wasn't thinking and I just- he was there and he- I didn't want to be a stupid virgin anymore and you were mad and I- I'm sorry!" Louis cried and sank down onto the ground holding his face in his eyes. Louis felt Harry staring at him and he could feel his heart ripping into pieces. It wasn't even a heart anymore. Louis didn't deserve a heart anymore, he didn't deserve to love or to be loved. 

Louis glanced up and saw Harry sit down in front of him. He wanted to throw up. Two days into being with his Dom and he fucked everything up. He wished that they could just rewind and go back to when Harry and him would bicker. Now it's all serious and he hates it. He hates himself for being such a horrible, slutty sub. 

"I wasn't mad at you..." Harry mumbled and his voice cracked slightly. They've only know each other two days but the bond is always strong when you're matched. It's just in everyone's nature. "I just didn't know what to do, I could've- what if you wouldn't have stopped me?" Harry frowned. Was he really mad at himself right now?

"You stormed away and left a stupid note like I meant nothing," Louis grumbled into his hands. 

"I know and I'm sorry and it was a cowardly way to react but you aren't a stupid virgin."

"Well not anymore cause I cheated so I'm just a stupid slut aren't I?!" Louis cried as he practically yelled at himself. Harry sighed and leaned back. 

"Maybe we should go back to the testing facility..." Harry trailed off and Louis' heart twisted. No. No he just got Harry. He just got a Dom. 

"No please, I can- I can be better," Louis sobbed and looked up to meet Harry's sad eyes. 

"You keep saying that and you keep getting worse. You could probably just ask the doctor to make you Zayn's sub or something," Harry shrugged and stood up. Louis whimpered and reached forward grabbing Harry's pants. 

"Please Harry! Please don't leave me, I- I don't want Zayn. I want you, I want to be good for you!" Louis cried and looked up at Harry with big, puffy blue eyes. 

"It's been two days and you've already cheated," Harry said and shook Louis off his leg.

"But we were paired together," Louis whimpered. "They even checked twice."

"Well a third times a charm," Harry huffed and stormed away. Louis sank down and sobbed into his hands. He curled into a ball on the floor and let the tears fall down his cheeks and onto the carpet. He wanted to disappear forever. He never wanted to see Zayn again. He just wanted to fix everything and have Harry as his own. He really believed he could work it out with Harry and stupid Zayn got in the way. Stupid, stupid Zayn! 

Louis narrowed his eyebrows and pushed himself up onto his feet. He marched out to his car and drove back to the apartment not even caring that he was speeding. He hated Zayn so fucking much. He slammed his car door and used the key he still had to get in. 

"Louis?" Niall frowned as he was doing dishes. Louis ignored him and marched back to Zayn's room. If he wasn't home he'd just drive to his work. Whatever. Louis spotted Zayn folding his clothes with his back turned to Louis. He clenched his jaw and grabbed Zayn's shoulder spinning him around punching him square in the jaw. Zayn stumbled back and Louis gripped his knuckle as that hurt, a lot. 

"Louis are you insane?" Zayn rubbed his face and Louis dove forward tackling Zayn onto the ground. He swung his fist at Zayn's face but only made contact once. He heard Niall running in and tugging at his waist before he eventually got shoved off. His hands really fucking hurt, even if he only did punch Zayn twice. 

"Get off," Louis huffed and wiggled out of Niall's grip. 

"Are you really beating me up when you told me to take it? You literally begged for it," Zayn snapped and rubbed his jaw. 

"You could've stopped me! You knew I was matched! You both could've stopped me!" Louis yelled and Niall let his head fall. He really didn't like yelling at Niall but he needed someone to put the blame on other than himself. 

"Louis you can- you and Harry can fix this," Niall mumbled and reached his hand out gently grabbing Louis' arm. Louis smacked it away and Niall whimpered. 

"Hey, don't you fucking dare do that," Zayn snapped and shoved Louis back, tucking Niall behind him. "Just because you can't deal with your own fucking mistakes doesn't make it okay to blame others."

"Well I'm blaming you!" Louis yelled and pushed Zayn again. "Because if you would've just kept your mouth shut and not told me you missed me and not seduced me and-"

"You're the one who opened his fucking legs so don't even start with me!"

Louis breathed heavily and glared at Zayn. He glanced at Niall who was hiding in fear. He hated himself. He lost his best friend, he scared his other best friend, he lost his Dom. He lost everything. He even lost himself somewhere in the mess. 

"Shut up," Louis frowned and looked down. He felt the tears coming on again and he wanted to just drive off of a cliff. No, he couldn't leave Harry like that. But Harry would probably be less hurt by him dying then by realizing Louis cheat on him. 

"Why? You're the one who was unfaithful, it's all your fault. You brought this on yourself and now you have to live with it," Zayn snapped and Louis stepped back. 

"Shut up Zayn!" Louis cried and turned around. He ran through the living room and out the front door smashing into a body. He whimpered and felt Harry steady him on his feet. 

Harry stayed quiet and glanced down at Louis' bruised knuckles. He sighed and peered past Louis into the apartment only seeing Niall. Zayn clearly didn't want any part in Louis anymore. 

"We're going home," Harry mumbled and scooped Louis up bridal style. He set Louis down in the passenger seat then climbed into the driver's seat. Louis curled into a ball and mumbled apology after apology to Harry. They reached their house and Harry carried Louis inside again. He sat him down in the living room and sat beside him. Louis scooted away feeling like he didn't deserve to even be sitting close to Harry. 

"Just tell me to go away and I will," Louis frowned. 

"I'm not gonna tell you that," Harry sighed and rubbed his hands together. "Listen- I know you- I know you cheated and I can't help but think I had something to do with it because of this morning. I had no intentions of hurting you when I reacted that way but- it's just- I've been in that situation before," Harry sighed. "Is was during the two year gap and I was messing around with this sub. He seemed okay and all and like we had sex but then afterwords he said I had taken his virginity and that he hadn't wanted me to be the one. He didn't really care all that much but I did. Because I know losing your virginity is special to a lot of people and I didn't want to have just take yours. I just got scared and ran from the situation because I didn't want a repeat of the past. It's stupid and it probably doesn't make any sense to you but please don't think I hated you for being a virgin. I'm just shit at showing my emotions and I'm sorry," Harry sighed. Louis looked down and watched tears drip onto his folded hands. Was Harry really the one apologizing right now?

"I cheated on you," Louis mumbled and it felt like gargling nails. "How can you be apologizing?" Louis sniffled. 

"Because I can't hate you and we can't- we can't hold onto this or else we won't ever work. And of course things aren't going to be the same for a while but we're matched and we're supposed to be able to get through this," Harry sighed and scooted closer to Louis. Louis stayed pushed against the arm rest and sniffled. 

"I don't deserve you," he said and tried fighting against Harry as he put his arm around him. 

"You deserve someone that loves you and if you give me a chance and let yourself have this relationship then I can be that someone," Harry whispered. Louis sniffled and looked down. 

"People that love me don't hit me in the face with a door," he mumbled and Harry smiled. 

"That was a mistake," Harry cooed and rested his chin on Louis' shoulder. "People make mistakes but that doesn't mean they can't be forgiven over time yeah?" Harry took Louis' hand and rubbed it gently. If Louis had to give an award for the most understanding and forgiving person first place would go to Harry hands down. 

"You know when I first met you I didn't think you were all lovey and deep," Louis sniffled wiping his nose with the back of his hand. 

"I can be sassy and hard headed again if you'd like?" Harry cooed and kissed Louis' temple. 

"Maybe, it was kind of fun," Louis said and peaked at Harry out of the corner of his eye. Harry was an angel. He didn't know how but when Louis needed it Harry was there delivering a box full of care. Or when Louis was being sassy and difficult Harry delivered the same amount right back. Louis knew Harry wasn't completely okay- or okay at all that Louis had cheated but he wasn't going to let the situation explode more than it already had. He was gonna try to fix it because in his eyes Louis was worth it. 

"Alright, then you pay for dinner


	13. Chapter 13

They decided to stay in for the rest of the day. Harry had some papers to grade so Louis just sat in the living room watching TV. He avoided the romance movies and decided on Happy Feet. It was one of his favorites. Harry came out of his office for some water around 3 and glanced at Louis who was fast asleep on the couch. Harry sighed and glanced at the TV smiling softly at the dancing penguins. He grabbed a blanket from the other couch and laid it over Louis since it was a bit cold. 

Louis woke up and glanced at the clock on the tv box. It was just a little after 5. He slid off the couch and took the blanket with him shuffling down the hall to go the bathroom. He stopped outside in the hallway when he heard Harry on the phone. 

"Well I forgave him kind of," Harry sighed. "I didn't yell or anything because I kind of messed him up this morning when I got mad at him for being a virgin....no I- I just didn't want a repeat of what happened with Bryce, remember him?" Harry sighed. "I know it wasn't a big deal but it was to me...i know, I was gonna make him dinner tonight and like you know do it properly but he kind of already slept with someone," Harry said and Louis felt his stomach twist. He was so so stupid!! "Yeah it hurt a lot, it still does," Harry sounded so hurt and Louis knew he was acting when he told Louis he forgave him. He just had to be. "It's like a aching in my heart and it just doesn't go away and I know he feels the same thing." Louis did feel the same pain. His heart was aching as if the strings between their hearts had been cut and needed time to tangle back together. "No, he doesn't have a sub," Harry said and Louis tensed up knowing they were talking about Zayn. "Louis said his sub died before he- wait really? I didn't know that. But's he's...yeah I guess that makes sense," Harry sighed and Louis narrowed his eyebrows really wishing he could hear the person on the other line. He assumed it was Harry's mother because he said he was close with her. "I know that but I don't want to just leave him like dad did to you," Harry sighed. "Of course it hurts mom but I can't just ignore him and act like it's going to fix itself because then it just hurts so much worse....well I- I think he's trying to do good but I don't know, I think he's still trying to get used to everything because it all happened really fast...I know, I know, I will."

Louis decided he had enough of eavesdropping and slipped into the bathroom to actually go pee. When he walked out of the bathroom Harry was standing at the entrance of his office. 

"You know I could see your feet at the bottom of the door?" Harry smirked. Louis blushed and looked down. 

"I'm sorry," he said feeling the need to apologize for everything now. 

"It's alright," Harry said and took Louis' hand. "I was just talking to my mom," he said and sat down in his office chair pulling Louis to sit on his lap. "She wants to meet you soon you know?" Louis gulped and sat up a bit so he wasn't leaning back on Harry as much. 

"Why? I'm no good," Louis huffed and picked at the edge of the blanket. "You basically told her everything and she hates me. I hurt her son," Louis sighed. Harry stayed quiet and pursed his lips. 

"No one hates you, Louis," Harry huffed. 

"Well I hate me," he pouted and went to stand up but Harry yanked him back down.

"Please don't say that," Harry frowned. "I know this is all really hard and you feel guilty but you can't just run from it okay? My-my dad cheated on my mom and then left. We don't even know where he is but she's been hurting for years. And he's not dead because she stills feel that connection to him. But I know he's out there probably sleeping with other subs and hurting just as bad. I don't know why he won't come back but I don't want that to happen to us. I don't want us to have to hurt forever," Harry frowned. "So if we could just start over or start to move on at least that would help. It would help a lot, Louis," Harry cooed and his chin was rested on Louis' shoulder now. 

"I can't stop thinking about it," Louis admitted. "It's like- it's eating away at the inside of my head," Louis frowned and let his head fall. 

"It'll get better trust me, it'll- it'll always be there but you have to prove to yourself and to everyone that you're better than that."

"I'm trying to be better," Louis mumbled. "But I'm really bad at it," he sighed. "I'm not even a sub, I'm a Dom and I'm just- it's hard." Harry stayed quiet and chewed on his lip. 

"Maybe I should just treat you like a sub in the bedroom then," Harry suggested. "No rules outside of the bedroom, so you can eat whatever, do whatever, we'll just- we can try that okay?" 

"You'd do that?" Louis sniffled knowing that would be hard for Harry to push down the dominant traits of control. Louis' been doing it ever since he was little so he's good at it but Harry. Harry was a true Dom and wouldn't be able to resist telling Louis not to eat this or not to do this. 

"We could try," Harry nodded. "But there is one rule," Harry sighed. Louis gulped and looked back over his shoulder. "No leaving the house without me and you'll be coming to work with me everyday." Louis nodded as he could live with that. Being with Harry 24/7 didn't sound too bad either. 

~

Louis looked up from his meal and glanced at Harry across the table. Harry made chicken and cheesy mashed potatoes. Louis knew how to make chicken but Harry gave him a little cooking 101 lesson on the mashed potatoes. He watched as Harry cut up all of his chicken first then ate it opposed to Louis who cut a piece an then ate it. Harry also wiped his mouth with a napkin a lot which was kind of cute. Louis watched a while longer before Harry seemed to notice. 

"Do you like it?" Harry tilted his head. Louis nodded his head rapidly and forced a smile. 

"It's very good," Louis said and put more mashed potatoes into his mouth. He ate slowly and glanced up seeing Harry was finished. Louis went back to eating and realized Harry was still watching him. He looked up again and Harry clenched his jaw. Maybe Louis was eating too much and Harry didn't like that. "I'm finished," Louis said and scooted the plate away. He still had some potatoes left and half of his chicken. 

"Okay," Harry mumbled and stood up. Louis watched and frowned as Harry looked stressed that he didn't even have a say in how much Louis had to eat. Louis stood up and walked his plate over to the trashcan to scoot the leftovers into it. 

"Did I eat too much?" Louis mumbled pretending to scrape food into the trash still. His back facing Harry. 

"No you're fine," Harry said and turned the sink on. Louis knew Harry was lying. He didn't like the fact that Harry lied to make him feel better. 

"I don't mind if you put me on like a diet. Niall's on one," Louis gulped and turned around facing Harry. 

"You don't need to be on a diet," Harry shook his head. 

"I really won't mind Harry," Louis tried again and shifted on his feet. 

"No, that's not it Louis," Harry snapped and Louis stepped back. "I'm just frustrated right now," he grumbled and turned the sink off. Louis stood frozen and felt a lump in his throat. Harry was watching Louis all of dinner and got frustrated by something that wasn't his eating. Maybe Harry was actually about to snap at Louis for everything he did. 

"We can get retested if you want. You said you wanted to," Louis frowned and looked down at his empty plate. 

"I didn't mean that," Harry rubbed his face. "I was angry and not thinking straight. I'm frustrated because Zayn can get tested again and he didn't because he wanted you." Louis narrowed his eyebrows and frowned. 

"His sub died, Harry," Louis said thinking Harry already knew that. 

"I know but he can get tested again to get matched with another sub who lost their Dom. It's put into a different category in the system made specifically for Doms or subs who lost theirs. They don't have to but he could've. He could've just got matched and not had to mess you up so much," Harry groaned and stepped past Louis into the living room. 

Louis stood and just stared at his plate. Zayn could've gotten matched all this time and he just hung around with Louis. He lied about being forever alone then. But if Harry didn't know and Louis didn't know then maybe Zayn didn't know either. 

"Harry?" Louis frowned and set his plate down following his Dom into the living room. "What if Zayn doesn't know that?" 

"They fucking tell them it's an option. They only tell people who lose their match but my mom's friend did and got matched again when she was ready."

"Maybe he's not ready," Louis frowned and he really didn't like talking about Zayn. 

"When did he lose his sub?"

"Like a year before he met me," Louis shrugged as he didn't know the exact date. He met Zayn after Ryan though. 

"I think he didn't get tested because he wanted you."

"He made me get tested," Louis frowned and sat beside Harry. His head hurt and he didn't feel like discussing this. "He said he wanted to get it over with."

"Yeah, well he probably wanted you to get a sub then he'd just share with you so he'd still be with you," Harry huffed and Louis raised his eyebrow. 

"He would've told me that," Louis frowned. "And you don't even know him. You're making up theories."

"Don't defend him," Harry huffed. Louis leaned back and looked down at his hands. It wasn't a bad theory but Zayn would've been honest with Louis. Zayn loved him and was so kind and sweet and then- and then after Louis got matched with a Dom everything seemed to go down hill. He needed to talk to him. He didn't even want to look him in the eyes but he needed to clear everything up. 

"I need to-" Louis started before there was a loud banging knock on the front door. Harry looked up and narrowed his eyebrows. 

"Stay," he pointed at Louis and stood up. Louis tilted his head and felt his phone vibrate so he quickly took it out. It had been vibrating during dinner but he didn't want to be rude and check. 

Niall: Liam found out you hit me and he's coming to your house! I'm sorry I'm sorry !  
Niall: he made me tell I'm sorry!!!!! I'm so sorry !!!   
Niall: don't answer the door he's really really mad!!   
Niall: answer me please !!!!  
Niall: LOUIS  
Niall: PLEASE HE SAID HES GISNNE KILL YOU   
Niall: ANDWER ME PLEASEE 

Louis widened his eyes and stood up. "Harry don't answer the door," he spoke up but Harry already had the door unlocked. He hesitated and the door pushed open. 

Louis watched as Liam barreled in. His dark gaze landing on Harry as he balanced himself out.

"Where is he?" Liam growled and Louis stood frozen in the living room. Harry glanced at Louis which was the worst possible thing he could've done. Louis widened his eyes and stepped back despite the distance between them.

Liam stepped forward but Harry grabbed his arm yanking him back. "I'm gonna need you to leave," Harry said lowly and Louis yelped when Liam's fist collided into Harry's jaw. Harry faltered a bit before lunging at Liam and tackling him back against the bookshelf. The books fell down on them as fist collided into skin. Liam managed to get around Harry's hold and slam him into the ground. Harry kicked his leg into Liam's stomach causing him to double over. 

"Stop it!" Louis cried and ran around the dining room table. He caught Harry's arm trying to pull him back before he could hit Liam again. Harry looked at Louis with a bloody nose and dark eyes. 

"Louis go to-" Harry started before a foot smashed into his head. Louis widened his eyes and caught Harry in his arms. 

"Stop it Liam!" Louis yelled and sank down on the ground as Harry fell. 

"You don't fucking touch my sub like that do you understand!" Liam yelled and grabbed Louis' collar. Louis screamed and kicked his legs at Liam hitting him in the face a few timeshare his hands but it didn't do any damage. Louis scrunched his face up as Liam lifted him then slammed him onto the ground. He whimpered and turned his head side to side trying to avoid Liam's fist. It hurt. Every punch hurt and he wish he could just die. His entire face ached and felt numb. The room started spinning and he felt two hands grab his throat. He gasped and flailed his arms. His face tightened up as did his throat and his arms fell down to his sides. 

He was dying. He knew he was. Harry was going to be left all alone. He was going to be broken forever. Harry would never move on to get another match. Louis fluttered his eyes shut and tried gasping for more air until he couldn't. 

"Louis!?" A faint voice echoed and Louis felt air being pushed into his mouth. "Come on Louis," the voice begged and Louis started to gain feeling again. He didn't know how long he was out but he swore he was dead. He even saw a light. Louis gasped like a fish out of water and widened his eyes. A pair of golden-brown eyes staring at him.


	14. Chapter 14

"Zayn?" Louis breathed out and scooted back. His eyes darted around landing on Harry. He glared at Zayn then quickly crawled over to Harry. He was just laying there not moving but he was definitely breathing. Louis gently scooped him up so his head was in his lap. He had a horrible knot on the side of his head and a dry bloody nose. 

"He'll wake up soon," Zayn mumbled and Louis slowly turned his head to face him. 

"This is all your fault you know that?" Louis huffed. "If you wouldn't have been such a stupid bitch about me getting a Dom none of this would've happened. You couldn't just let me go and let me live but no you just held on so tight and you're still holding on. You don't care about me anymore. The Zayn I know wouldn't have slept with me. You would've stopped me like a good fucking friend but now we're in this mess. So id appreciate if you'd just send the rest of my stuff here and leave for good. I don't want you in my life anymore, I've had enough," Louis growled and kept his eyes glaring at Zayn. "And I know you can get tested again. Harry told me you can, so why didn't you? Why did you lie to me about being forever alone?" 

Zayn stayed quiet and didn't actually argue back. He just sat there and looked at Louis with those big stupid sad brown eyes. 

"Because I wanted you as my sub, I've told you that before."

"Then why did you make me get tested so quick hm? That doesn't make any sense to me. Nothing you do makes any fucking sense."

"Because you kept whining about getting matched and I assumed you would shut up about it once you got matched with a sub who would fit in at the apartment-"

"And then what? You would just share with me? Is that it? Because that's messed up."

"Yeah I know," Zayn sighed and looked down. 

"I can't believe you," Louis mumbled under his breath and combed Harry's hair. "He needs an ice pack," he sighed and stood up. "Help me move him to the couch."

Zayn hesitated but eventually helped Louis get Harry up onto the couch. Even though Zayn did most of the work. 

"I hope it was all worth it," Louis mumbled once he returned with an ice pack. "Because we aren't friends anymore and now I'm probably going to lose Niall, too. And that really hurts. Everything hurts and it all somehow revolves back around to you."

"You got just as attached to me as I did to you, Louis. Don't act like everything is my fault when you're to blame, too," Zayn huffed and Louis held the ice pack to Harry's head. 

"Where's Liam?" Louis asked. His face ached and head hurt but he didn't really care about that. He wanted Harry to wake up.

"I threatened to call the police and have Niall taken away," Zayn shrugged. "Not that Harry probably won't call the police anyway."

"I wouldn't allow him to do that to Niall. A restraining order on Liam would be nice though," Louis said. "And you," he added on. 

"Louis you can't be serious," Zayn sat up. 

"You've put me through hell and I don't want you around anymore. You've messed everything up. Just go get matched because if you were able to love me you were able to let go of Ryan."

"But I can't let you go Louis that's the problem."

"Well I'm letting you go so you better find someone else to hang onto," he huffed. "Now get out, I don't want you here when Harry wakes up," he motioned to the front door with his hand. 

"Louis, please, we've been best friends and we love ea-

"Loved, I loved you Zayn but not anymore. Just go get matched and be happy because I'm happy with Harry," he sighed. "Please." Louis didn't realize he was crying until a tear dripped onto Harry's face. He sniffled and wiped it away with his thumb. Zayn frowned and looked down as Louis kept his eyes on Harry. He couldn't look at Zayn or else he'd forgive him. 

"Your car is still at the apartment," Zayn choked out and Louis winced. Zayn has never cried in front of him before. 

"I'll get it later," Louis mumbled preoccupying himself with Harry's hair and soft skin. His tears occasionally dripping down off his chin. He wiped his nose with the back of the hand and sighed heavily. "Just put the rest of my stuff in my car, you have a key," he added on. Zayn frowned and pursed his lips. 

"You still have that picture from when we first met?" Zayn mumbled and Louis felt his eyes burning more. 

"Yeah," Louis mumbled and fluttered his eyelashes but that only caused more tears to fall. 

"Okay," Zayn mumbled and shifted on his feet. "This is goodbye then?" He choked out and his voice came out squeaky.

"Yeah," Louis said and tightened his fingers into fist. His eyes blurry and dripping with tears. "Goodbye Zayn."

"Goodbye Louis," he whispered and Louis closed his eyes taking a deep breath. He felt Zayn kiss the top of his head then walk out closing the door behind him. Louis let out the breath he was holding and started sobbing. He tried playing with Harry's hair to distract himself but it was no use. 

He just lost his best friend in the entire world. Just like that he was gone. Louis hiccuped and shook Harry's shoulder trying to wake him up. He sighed and wiped his eyes laying down and holding Harry on his arms for no. Zayn was just so easily gone. It didn't even take ten minutes and he was gone. It all happened so fucking fast and Louis just wanted to take it all back. He wanted to start over and never have fallen in love with Zayn. They could've just remained friends. They could still be friends but no. Life had to fuck it up. Louis had to fuck it all up. He petted Harry's head and whispered to Harry to wake up. 

A few more minutes passed before Louis sat up. He walked into the kitchen and filled a cup with water. He sipped from it and gazed out into the backyard. This was his life now. He had a life with Harry now. Harry was all his and he was all Harry's. Maybe they could build a little pond outside and get some fish or a garden. Louis always liked watching the flowers flourish in the spring time. 

He was just going to have to begin again. He was going to have to let himself fall down into an endless spiral of love. Except this time it would be with Harry. The one he was meant to love. He knew deep down that Harry and him would work to love each other. They would hold hands and kiss in grocery stores and smile at each other about inside jokes and they would know all of each other's secrets and they would dance in the kitchen in the refrigerator light. They would be forever. They would be in love and there would be no stopping them. 

"Hey." Louis spun around and saw Harry limping into the kitchen holding his head. Louis frowned and ran up to Harry throwing his arms around him. He didn't really care if Harry was hurting, he just needed a hug. He needed someone to tell him it'd be okay and that someone could love him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and kissed the top of his. Louis closed his eyes and Harry's arms were a good enough assurance that they would work. That life would be get better if they just gave it time. "A little too tight, Louis," Harry chuckled and Louis loosened his grip. He listened to Harry's heart beat and made a promise to himself to memorize it so whenever he was scared or upset he would just think about it. Think about the warmth and beat of Harry's heart because he swore it was made of gold. "You alright?" Harry whispered and Louis nodded. He pulled away slightly and gazed into Harry's eyes. 

"Can we clean up your bloody nose so I can kiss you?" Louis smiled softly and Harry reached up touching under his nose feeling the dry blood. He chuckled and nodded so Louis and him went into the bathroom. They cleaned up the blood under Harry's nose and wiped some off of Louis' face. He assumed it was from Liam's knuckles. 

"Now what did you want to do?" Harry smirked and hoisted Louis up on the counter. Louis blushed and motioned Harry closer with his finger. Harry leaned forward and let Louis make the move first. Their lips collided and Louis laced his arms around Harry's neck to pull him closer. Harry held onto Louis' hips before moving down to rub his thighs. Louis was thankful that Harry didn't ask about anything yet. He liked the idea of just forgetting everything while they kissed. Harry's lips would feel like home soon enough. They kissed with tongues and heavy breathing until they moved into the living room. 

Louis pinned beneath Harry as they grinded their hips together. Harry's tongue dipped deep into Louis' mouth.

"We have to get up early tomorrow," Harry whispered and lifted his head up but Louis just followed, connecting their lips again. Harry smiled softly and pressed Louis back down onto the couch keeping their lips pushed together. 

"Do I have go?" Louis frowned and leaned back. "I really don't like school," he pouted. 

"But I'm your teacher, yeah?" Harry smirked softly and kissed the side of Louis' face where a bruise was forming. "I'll make it fun," he winked and Louis scrunched up his nose. He liked this side of their relationship so much better. When they weren't fighting or involved in any sorts of drama. Now that Louis rid the toxic mess that was Zayn out of his life he had time to focus on Harry. 

"Shut up," Louis laughed and leaned back up to kiss Harry slowly.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to give anything away but like the beginning of the chapter may make some people uncomfortable or uneasy. I just wanted to warn everyone

"Liam stop!" Louis screamed and dug his nails into Liam's wrist as his hands clamped down around his neck. Louis' eyes widened and kicked his knee up but it stopped short as Liam pinned them down. Louis shook his head but it only made his throat close faster. This felt like drowning but it wasn't the same. He could see the air he needed to gasp. He opened his mouth trying to suck in but he got nothing. Louis knew he was dying. Dying felt like this. Slow and you couldn't do anything to help yourself because your body and brain gave into the fact that Earth didn't want you around anymore. He wasn't sure when his eyes closed but when they opened golden-brown eyes were staring at him. 

"Lou," Zayn smiled softly and Louis frowned feeling his neck aching. Even his lungs hurt. "I thought you were dead," he whispered and Louis clenched his jaw. Zayn was straddling his hips now. 

"Where's Harry?" Louis choked out and it hurt to talk. He looked around and spotted a body with it's back turned to him. He couldn't recognize who it was. The room was dark. He pushed Zayn's chest with more power than he thought he had but Zayn fought back. "Get off of me," Louis pouted. 

"Stop fighting this."

"Stop fighting what?" Louis spit and shoved Zayn again. He wiggled his hips trying to get out from under him. 

"Stop fighting us. You enjoyed every second of when I was inside of you."

"Shut up Zayn!" Louis screamed and slammed his fist forward into his jaw. Louis whimpered but managed to escape. He crawled quickly to the body and flipped it over. "Harry," he frowned as he was covered in blood. He checked for a pulse and narrowed his eyebrows. He can't be. No no no. Louis checked again then put his ear to his chest. Where's his heart? Where's his heartbeat!? Louis shook Harry's shoulder and whimpered. 

"You're looking for this aren't you?" Zayn spoke up and Louis whipped around. He nearly threw up seeing Harry's heart in Zayn's hands. "Take it," he tossed it at Louis and Louis winced but caught it. It was beating slowly and bleeding onto his hands. It was bleeding too much. Louis looked around feeling tears starting to fall. He whimpered as a piece of Harry's heart snapped off and fell onto the ground. 

"Zayn, why's it- what's it doing?" He choked out trying to pick up the pieces. They kept slipping through is fingertips and Harry's heart didn't look like a heart anymore. 

"You're breaking it," Zayn said casually. 

"No, I'm- I'm trying to fix it," Louis cried and attempted to piece the shattered heart back together. 

"You're not doing a good job," Zayn said and leaned back against the wall lighting a cigarette. 

"I'm trying! Help me!" He cried. 

"You want my help now?" Zayn laughed. "You're so pathetic Louis. First you tell me you love me and then you have sex with me and hate me. You're such an idiot and you never think about the people around you. You're so selfish and such a slut. I don't even know why I bothered trying to get you to love me back. No one wants you around. I don't. Liam doesn't. Niall doesn't. Your family doesn't. Harry doesn't. For fucks sake, Harry's probably better off dead then he is with you."

"Shut up!!" Louis screamed. 

~

"Louis! Louis wake up!!" Harry shook Louis' shoulders violently. He had already poured water on his face. "Louis please wake up!" 

Louis shot up right with wide eyes. He breathed heavily and looked down at his hands. They were clean. He felt sick to his stomach and felt a hand touch his arm. 

"Don't touch me," he snapped then realized who it was. "Harry?!" He nearly yelled and tackled him back on the bed. Harry widened his eyes and hugged Louis rubbing his back gently. Louis started crying and Harry reached back to flip the lamp on. 

"Hey, you're okay?" Harry whispered into Louis' hair. "You're alright, it was just a bad dream," he cooed but Louis shook his head. 

"It was all real," Louis whispered and kept his face hidden in Harry's neck. 

"Dreams aren't real," Harry whispered but he didn't get it. Louis shrugged and swallowed the lump in his throat. Harry didn't need to know about this. Well he didn't need to know about the dream. He'd probably make them get re-tested and just get rid of him for being so pathetic. Louis shuttered at the thought of losing Harry because in his dream he actually lost him. Louis killed him by breaking his poor angel heart. Louis slowly sat back and reached his hand up resting it on Harry's chest. It was beating. Louis let out a sigh of relief but only because Harry was alive. His heart wasn't beating for him. It was beating to keep Harry alive until Louis would come along to destroy it. 

"Everything okay?" Harry frowned and looked as Louis' palm pressed to his bare chest. "Louis?" He tried again and Louis looked up. 

"Can I have some water?" He whispered and Harry nodded. Louis slid off of Harry and watched as Harry disappeared into the hallway. Louis stood up and shuffled to the mirror. He tilted his head up and traced his fingertips gently over the bruises on his neck from Liam. Zayn left his mark with a hickey that blended well with the other marks. 

"Babe come on don't look at that," Harry whispered as he walked back in. Louis looked down and met his eyes. His own blue eyes. They looked empty except for the tears. He messed up everything. Harry said they could fix it but could they? Could they fix this? Louis didn't even know Harry yet he trusted him. Of course, he's his Dom but Zayn was his best friend. Niall was his best friend. He even considered Liam a friend. Harry didn't want to discuss the incident until time passed. Louis assumed Zayn would be right about the restraining orders. "Do you need ice?" Harry whispered and Louis shook his head. His hair was a mess in the mirror. He always had really bad bed-head. His skin was sweaty but he could only tell from his forehead sweat, everything below his eyes were tears. Why was he even crying? It's all his fault anyway. No one really wants him around. Zayn doesn't, Liam doesn't, Niall maybe but Liam won't allow it, his own family doesn't. Harry only sticks around because he is wired to. He wouldn't stay if he had a choose. For Christ sake, Louis wouldn't date himself if he had a choose. 

"Louis!!" Harry yelled and grabbed Louis back away from the mirror as it shattered. Harry quickly picked Louis up and rushed him into the bathroom. He sat him down on the toilet and fumbled around in the cabinet. He grabbed a cloth and gauze. "Why on Earth did you do that?" Harry breathed out. He picked up Louis' hand and examined his knuckle for glass. Louis just watched as Harry easily bandaged up his hand unlike the way Louis could bandage up his life. Like he couldn't bandage up Harry's heart. "Look at me," Harry whispered and tilted Louis' chin up. "Louis. Me." He huffed and Louis flicked his eyes up to meet Harry's eyes. 

"If we weren't matched would you want me?"

"What?"

"If we weren't matched together would you fight to keep me? Would you even bother or just move on to someone better? Niall has a few good friends you'd probably-" Louis started before Harry's soft lips crashed into his. Butterflies erupted in his stomach and his mind wiped clear of everything except Harry. Except the way his lips felt like flower petals. The way Harry always tilted his head to the right but just barely. Their noses brushing. The way Harry's hair always found a way to tickle some part of Louis' skin. The way Harry always wanted more to kiss. He always kissed first. 

"Feel it now?" Harry whispered and pulled away. Louis frowned but then realized what Harry meant when Harry lifted his hand to his heart. It was beating really fast. "You did that," Harry whispered. "You make my heart go crazy Louis and I don't know what you dreamed about but I want you. I don't care that we just met but you make me want to fight for us. You-"

"You're just saying that because we're matched. It's not real love. Real love doesn't even exist. It's all apart of some stupid system. It's just a stupid system. Nothing about love is real, it's a made up concept, a made up word. If it were real, my family would still be here, Zayn wouldn't have had sex with me, I wouldn't have cheated," Louis choked out in broken sobs. 

"Louis," Harry frowned. "Louis, love is real. You just haven't had a chance to experience true love but I can show you. If you just give me a chance," Harry begged. "I don't care about the system, I care about you and making you happy. I'm still a Dom and you're still a sub but that's in our nature. The system doesn't come equipped with an injection of love. That's all us. We create that. Everyone's love is different and if you believe in me you'll help me make our love right, okay?" Harry cooed while holding onto Louis' soft face. 

"How am I supposed to make our love right when I don't even know what it is?" Louis sniffled. 

"That's my job to worry about," Harry whispered and pecked Louis' cheek. "Now come on, I'm gonna make you some tea." Harry stood up and helped Louis up. He held his good hand and walked him into the kitchen. "My mom said chamomile tea helps with sleeping."

"I know that," Louis sniffled trying to stop crying. "I drink tea all the time."

"I knew it," Harry cracked a small smile. "I didn't pin you as a coffee person."

"Do you like coffee?" Louis asked as talking about other stuff seemed to help. 

"That's what the Keurig is for," Harry smiled softly. "I make tea in it, too," he put the tea bag into the k-cup then closed the lid. He slid the mug under it and pushed a button. Louis watched as a few seconds later the mug filled with tea. "Do you like sugar in it?" 

"Two cubes," Louis held up two fingers and bit his lip. 

"I don't have cubes but I'll just estimate," Harry chuckled and got a spoon. He retrieved the sugar container from a cabinet and scooped some onto the spoon before dumping it into the tea. Louis forced a smile and said thank you taking the warm mug into his hands. No one could make Louis his tea exactly how he wanted it but he didn't want to disappoint Harry by declining his offer. He sipped the tea and swallowed. No one could make Louis his tea exactly how he wanted it except Harry. Or he guess the Keurig, too. 

"Why are you smiling?" Harry raised his eyebrow. 

"Cause you made really good tea," Louis said and his eyes were dry now. He still felt upset but Harry being around helped a lot and so did the tea.   
For some reason it started feeling like home. He didn't know if it was the way Harry looked at him, or the familiar taste of tea or just being up late in the middle of the night. None of his stuff was even moved in yet. All of it was still stuffed into his car back at the apartment. That's what it was. The apartment. Not his- just the. Because Harry's house was his home now and that's the first thing he intended to fix. He intended to make Harry's house feel like home.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news: there is a new charcter  
> Bad news: I'm starting school so updates are probably going to be weekly now and not so back to back :(

No matter how much Louis complained and nearly fell asleep brushing his teeth or eating his cereal they made it to Harry's work in time. Louis didn't even bother with nice clothes and just went with sweats. Harry looked extremely dapper though and Louis declared that Harry was an actually God. He had the heart of an angel and the fucking looks of a Greek God. 

"I have class 8 to 9:15 then I'll be back here so just stay in here. You can go back to sleep if you'd like," Harry explained while organizing his cute little messenger bag. 

"Then what?" Louis yawned lounging back in Harry's comfy desk chair. 

"Then," Harry turned and faced Louis. "I'm going to come back here and you're gonna start school," he smirked making Louis groan. "Oh shush, it's all basic's just to keep your mind fresh. I won't even grade you," Harry smiled and threw the strap over his shoulder. 

"Fine," Louis hummed and yawned again. He was going to have to get used to this, the whole morning thing. Louis watched as Harry walked around the desk then bent over pressing a soft kiss to Louis' lips. Louis smiled softly and leaned up, gently grabbing the back of Harry's head to kiss him a bit longer. Harry pressed one had against the back of the tall office chair to keep himself up as he poked his tongue against Louis' lips. Once they started it was quite hard to stop. Dom/sub nature. "You could stay," Louis mumbled and Harry pulled away with Louis' teeth attached to his bottom lip before they slipped off. 

"I really can't," Harry pouted and kissed Louis' forehead. "But when I come  
back I'm free until 12."

Louis nodded and they kissed one last time before Harry left. Louis sighed and leaned back in the chair, spinning around once. He wasn't tired enough to fall asleep now that he's had been up for a while so sleeping was out of the picture. He stood up and put his hands on his hips as Harry's desk was an absolute mess. Pencils and pens everywhere. Papers scattered and falling on the floor. 

~

"Louis." Harry put his hand on his forehead as he stood in the doorway looking at his now spotless office. 

"I cleaned it up for you," Louis smiled. "Look I even put sticky notes where-" he started then frowned when Harry dropped his messenger bag on the floor. Louis gulped and felt a pit in his stomach. "I- do you not like it?" He frowned and stepped back from the desk. 

"Just- I knew where everything was," Harry grumbled and Louis frowned. He was trying to be a good sub and Harry hates it. He literally can't do one single thing right. 

"I can- I can show you where everything is, though," Louis mumbled. "Cause I put sticky notes on things," he said quietly as Harry opened desk drawers. 

"No, just- here," Harry reached into his back pocket pulling out his wallet. He handed Louis ten dollars. "Go buy me a coffee and you a tea," he sighed. Louis nodded and quickly stepped out of the office. He gripped the money and felt the pit in his stomach moving up to his throat. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

He didn't even know where the stupid cafe was. Louis looked around and felt like an even bigger idiot because everyone here clearly went to school and clearly knew what they were doing. He wanted to cry and break down and hit something again but he couldn't. Good subs don't do that. He has to try again to make Harry happy. He would probably like coffee and a bagel since Harry didn't eat breakfast. 

"Excuse me?" Louis turned around and raised his eyebrow at the boy who tapped his shoulder. He was young looking, definitely a sub. Big green eyes that kind of, sort of, almost out did Harry's and a mess of light brown hair on his head. 

"Yeah?" Louis hummed fiddling with the money in his hand. 

"Do you know where the cafe is?" Of course the poor kid would ask Louis of all people. 

"No, that's what I'm looking for," Louis sighed and glanced around. 

"Oh okay, could we look together maybe? I feel stupid walking around by myself." At least someone else feels stupid. 

"Sure," Louis shrugged and they started walking straight. They didn't think it be tucked away in one of the branching hallways so they just continued forward. 

"It could be the other way," the boy suggested and Louis nodded as they had already reached the end of the building. They turned around and started walking the other way. 

"Do you go to school here?" Louis asked as he didn't like the silence. 

"I just started," the boy said. "I'm a freshman. Are you a senior?"

Louis laughed and shook his head. "I'm probably just as old as you," he said softly. 

"Oh cool," the boy grinned. "What are you majoring in?" He asked and Louis tensed up. How to be a good sub. 

"Uh- I haven't decided," Louis shrugged.

"That's okay, I'm majoring in art because I'm not too good at all the smart stuff. Not that art doesn't take smarts but I'm not good with all the numbers and such," he explained and Louis nodded. 

"So you must draw a lot?" 

"Yeah," he nodded. "I draw comics mainly. I think graphic design would be cool. I could show you some of my stuff later if you'd like?" 

"That'd be nice," Louis smiled and looked up spotting the cafe. "Found it," he laughed. Louis ordered his tea first as it looked like he'd be having a sit down with the boy. He'd order Harry's things on his way out so they didn't get cold. 

"What's your name?" Louis asked as he didn't like referring to him as the boy all the time. Even if they were the same age, Louis definitely looked the oldest. Not by much but the boy still had a baby face which was kind of cute. 

"Riley" he answered and sat down across from Louis. 

"I'm Louis," he smiled. "Do you have any art with you right now?" He asked as he was curious. Zayn used to draw a lot when they first met but- no he can't think about Zayn. 

"I don't have my sketchbook but I have some doodles," he said excitedly and reached into his bag. Louis sipped his tea and watched as Riley pulled up a notebook. He flipped through pages of notes and some dark pages that looked like they had a lot of drawings and erase marks and scratch outs on them. Except Riley didn't show him those pages. "This is one of my comic characters. I made him up recently but he doesn't have a name," Riley held the paper up. Louis narrowed his eyebrows and leaned forward. The character had a smug expression, tall dark hair, narrow eyes. It was kind of smudged but it was good.

"It's really good," Louis smiled. "Is he like a super hero or something?" 

"Maybe," Riley shrugged and closed his notebook. "I just draw him a lot." Louis nodded and felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly before turning around. 

"Oh hi," Louis gulped as Harry looked over him. "Um," Louis cleared his throat. "Riley, this is Harry, he's my Dom," Louis blushed as he's never had to introduce Harry to anyone before. 

"It's nice to meet you," Harry smiled and held out his hand to shake Riley's. Louis watched as Riley hesitantly touched Harry's hand. He shook it off and glanced back up to Harry. 

"I was going to get you your coffee soon," Louis gulped. 

"No you're fine," Harry smiled. "Talk with your friend," he whispered and kissed the top of Louis' head. He took the money from Louis and went to the counter. 

"He seems nice," Riley mumbled watching Harry out of the corner of his eye. Louis glanced over at Harry and nodded. 

"Yeah he is," Louis smiled. 

"Is that why you have those bruises on your neck?" Riley mumbled and Louis paused. 

"What? No. No no no," he shook his head pulling his hoodie up to bunch around the bruises. "These are from someone- I just- it wasn't Harry. He would never hurt me," Louis explained quickly. He didn't think they were that visibly especially because the hoodie he was wearing bunched around his neck. 

"Okay," Riley said and Louis nodded with a deep sigh. 

"Do you have a Dom?" Louis asked as that was a normal question. Louis used to get asked it all the time even though he's a Dom. 

"No," Riley said and side-eyed Harry again. 

"Oh well you'll get matched soon," Louis smiled. "How old are you if you don't mind me asking?" Only Dom's go to get tested but they usually only get matched with older sub's about 18 to 23. Sometimes they'll get matched at 16 or 17 but that's rare. 

"19," he said and looked back down. 

"Oh then you're one year older than me," Louis said and heard a chair being dragged against the floor. Harry smiled and plopped down beside them at the table. "Riley's a freshman here," Louis said to Harry. 

"Really? What are you majoring in?" Harry turned to ask Riley. Louis looked across the table and frowned. Riley looked about ready to vomit. 

"Are you okay?" Louis asked and stood up. "Come on I'll take you to the bathroom," he gently grabbed Riley's arm leading him into the bathroom. "You're alright," Louis cooed letting go of his arm. Riley nodded and stepped back. 

"I have to get to class soon," he mumbled and turned the sink on starting to wash his hands. "Thanks for helping me find the cafe," he said quickly scrubbing roughly at his hands. Louis tilted his head and frowned.

"Riley you don't look too well to go to class. I could help you home," Louis offered. 

"I'm fine," he said and dried his hands with the paper towels. 

"At least let me have your number so I know you're okay later," Louis sighed feeling genuinely concerned. Louis handed his phone to Riley who typed in his number with shaking fingers. Louis watched as Riley nearly ran out of the bathroom, Louis quickly followed and saw him kind of dodge around Harry to get his back pack. Louis shuffled back over to Harry and frowned. 

"I don't want you hanging out with him anymore," Harry mumbled and sipped his coffee. Harry promised not to treat Louis like a sub outside of the bedroom. 

"Wait what?" Louis pouted. "He's nice at least until you showed up," Louis huffed. "And you- I need to make friends."

"Well not with him," Harry said. 

"Why not?" Louis leaned back and crossed his arms. 

"Because I flipped through his notebook and-"

"You what? God, that's so disrespectful!" Louis raises his voice but Harry grabbed his thigh under the table to shut him up. "You can't just do that," Louis snapped more quietly. 

"That doesn't matter," Harry huffed. "He had some freaky-"

"No, I don't want to know what was in it. He likes to draw and he can draw whatever he pleases. He was so sweet to me and he was- it was nice to have someone to talk to that isn't always you."


	17. Chapter 17

"Harry," Louis gasped and gripped the edge of the table with his fingertips. His torso bent over the desk as Harry kneeled down, fingering and licking at his aching hole. They haven't done anything sexual yet since Louis lost his virginity but they were both feeling needy. 

"Shh," Harry huffed and slapped his hand down on one of Louis' cheeks. Louis hissed and bit down on his tongue as Harry's tongue dove back between his cheek. He tensed up and felt his stomach twisting with the feel of Harry's wet tongue exploring him. "Don't come on my desk," Harry mumbled then went back in. His tongue probing and flicking driving Louis over edge. His knuckles turned white as Harry tortured his hole. 

"I-I gotta come somewhere," Louis panted as he wasn't very good at holding back orgasms but he had to try. He had to be a good sub for Harry. 

"Turn around," Harry mumbled kissing the cheek he had just slapped. Louis leaned up and turned around feeling Harry hold onto his waist to set him on top of the desk. Louis gripped the table and watched as his cock disappeared into his Dom's mouth. Louis whimpered and tossed his head back, his free hand flying up to grip Harry's hair. 

"Oh fuck," Louis moaned and rolled his hips up into Harry's warm mouth. His tongue was literally a torture device. "Can I?" Louis begged and Harry shook his head. Louis knew Harry got off on Louis resisting an orgasm. Harry bobbed his head faster and Louis tightened his grip on Harry's head trying to make him slow down. "Harry," he whined in a high-pitched squeak. Harry slid his mouth off and pushed Louis back onto the desk knocking everything off. Louis shifted his legs and moaned as Harry rolled his hips down into Louis'. Louis only in his shirt and his pants pooled around his ankles while Harry's shirt was unbuttoned and so were his pants. Harry grinded down onto Louis sending waves of pleasure through the sub. 

"You like that?" Harry hummed and Louis nodded reaching up to tangle his fingers into Harry's hair. He wanted to have sex with Harry so bad. Not only to strengthen their bond but because he cared about Harry. He wanted to be able to love him to the fullest. 

"More," Louis begged and slid one hand down between them starting to palm Harry's hard-on. He wanted it so bad. But not here. Or maybe here. He just wanted it and didn't care if he was bent over a desk or sprawled on a bed covered in rose petals. He wanted to feel Harry from the inside. 

"Easy," Harry whispered and grabbed Louis' arm pushing it out of the way so they could rub together more. 

"I want you," Louis worked up the courage to stay. "Inside me," he breathed out very quietly as he was blind to orgasm if he stopped thinking about holding it back. Not that the though of Harry inside of him was helping.

"Tonight hm? I have class soon," Harry whispered and Louis internally groaned but nodded. Tonight. He could live with that. "And you can come now baby," Harry smirked and Louis let go. Harry let Louis clean up in the bathroom while he finished himself off. Louis argued it wasn't fair but Harry had his rules and Louis had to obey. 

"This class is just as long as the other one," Harry explained as he buttoned his shirt. His cheeks were flushed red and his eyes were glossed over. Louis also noticed Harry's lips got extremely swollen when ever he sucked dick. His students would know exactly what he was doing before. Louis also kept quiet about the teaching thing because Harry seemed to forget about it. "Just stay in here and draw or read, okay?" Harry said grabbing his messenger bag. 

"Okay," Louis smiled softly and leaned up to kiss Harry on the lips. Harry walked out of the room and closed the door.

The office was awfully quiet and lonely so Louis pulled out his phone. Texting Niall was out of the picture at least for a while. He definitely wasn't going to text Zayn no matter how badly he wanted to. They always used to text a lot. So he texted Riley. 

Louis: hey! I don't mean to bother you if you're in class but how are you? 

That was nice right? He really needed to make new friends now that he lost his. Riley was a good start even if Harry didn't think so. He stared at his phone for maybe a minute before standing up. He walked over to a filing cabinet and sifted threw it but it was all stupid school stuff. No top secret file or anything. He sat back down in the chair and saw a text back. 

Riley: I'm fine :) my class ended early. Do you want to come to my dorm? I have video games and my sketchbook is there too

Louis' thumbs danced over the screen as he Harry told him to stay but he was going to be gone an hour. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. 

Louis: sure ! Meet at the cafe in like 5 mins?

Riley: see you there!!!

Louis stood up and fixed his sex-hair before walking back to the cafe. He sat down in a chair and played Candy Crush still stuck on the same level as before. Niall could probably beat it for him. 

"Hey," Riley came up behind him a few minutes later. "Are you playing candy crush?" He chuckled. Louis huffed and slouched back in his chair. 

"Yeah I'm stuck on this level," Louis frowned. 

"Can I try?" Riley grinned and Louis handed his phone to him keeping an eye on him. He stuck his tongue out like Niall does when he is concentrated. Louis wasn't sure how much time passed but then Riley was handing him his phone back. "Beat it," he grinned. 

"What the hell?" Louis pouted. "I've been stuck on that all week," he groaned. He put his phone away and then stood up. Riley and him were about the same height. 

"Now you aren't though," Riley smiled and Louis rolled his eyes. 

"I bet it's an art major thing," Louis nodded as they left the building. "Because of all the colors."

"That was a lame joke," Riley raised his eyebrow with a small smile. 

"I thought it was quite creative," Louis shrugged and glanced at Riley. He'd fit in nicely with him and Niall if Niall were still around. 

They talked about Riley's classes the rest of the way back to his dorm and Louis had to make up classes that he was taking. He had a feeling Riley knew he was lying though. 

"My roommate dropped out the first week," Riley said as he unlocked the dorm with his key. 

"How come?" Louis asked as they walked inside. The left half of the room was empty and only had a few storage bins under the lofted bed along with a dresser. Riley's side was bare besides his desk supplies and a comforter set, of course. There wasn't anything on the walls which was kind of weird. But some people don't have an eye for decor so Louis understood. 

"Beats me," Riley shrugged and jumped up on his bed patting the spot beside Louis. Louis jumped up and sat beside him. "I barely saw him."

"That's weird," Louis said and scooted back on the bed until he was leaning against the wall. "Maybe something happened like an emergency you know?"

"Maybe he was stupid," Riley smirked and scooted back with Louis so their shoulders were touching. 

"That too," Louis laughed. "So you probably know I don't actually go to school here," Louis mumbled and glanced at Riley. 

"Considering wood shop isn't offered here, yeah I know," Riley chuckled. 

"That was like the only class in high school I did relatively good in," Louis huffed. "My bird house is still on one of the trees at the school."

"Bird houses, wow," Riley acted surprised. 

"Shut up," Louis shook his head. "I bet my bird house was better crafted than one of your drawings," he teased. 

"I bet not," Riley fired back and literally crawled over Louis to reach over onto his desk. He snatched up a sketchbook and sat back down besides Louis. 

"Show me your best one," Louis said and Riley kept the cover facing Louis as he flipped through. 

"Are you ready?" Riley peaked over the book and Louis nodded. Riley flipped the book around and Louis' jaw dropped. Dark hair, smug look, narrow eyes. It was his comic brought to life. It was so realistic. And it looked- it looked so much like Zayn. No, it was Zayn. 

"That's amazing," Louis breathed out studying the golden-brown eyes. What the fuck? "Is this someone you know?"

"It's my comic character. I got bored so I brought him to life," Riley shrugged. "I was hoping maybe it would help me come up with a name but no luck," he shrugged and closed the book. 

"Zayn," Louis said and glanced at Riley. 

"Oh," Riley smiled. "Oh I really like that," he nodded. "How do you spell it? With a y?"

"Yeah. Z, a, y, n," Louis spelt it out for him just in case. "So how'd you come up with him?" Louis asked trying to sound as casual as possible. 

"I'm not sure. About a year ago I started drawing a lot more than I had been and I was practicing faces and his kept coming up," Riley explained. "Sometimes I have dreams with him in it, which sounds weird but I guess I spend too much time drawing him," Riley chuckled and Louis smiled. 

"He's handsome," Louis added on and Riley nodded. 

"Yeah, he's a pretty good looking," Riley said. "Want me to draw you?" He asked and Louis raised his eyebrows. 

"Oh wow, you don't have to," Louis shook his head. 

"No no no, I want to. Go sit over on that bed and like smile or pose, you look like a model anyway," Riley blushed and so did Louis. 

"This one time," Louis huffed and slid off the bed. He hopped onto the other one and sat criss-cross facing Riley. "Have you ever done live model drawings?" Louis asked. 

"Not really, sometimes I cartoonize people on the streets or in class but they don't know I'm doing it," he said and started drawing lines on his notebook. His eyes flicking back and forth. 

"Am I getting turned into a cartoon?" Louis tilted his head. 

"Kind of, not completely cartoon but not completely realistic," Riley explained which kind of made sense to Louis. He would just have to wait and see. 

Louis kept a smile small on his face so after a while his cheeks began to hurt but Riley promised he was almost done. About forty minutes had passed before Riley said Louis could come look. Louis climbed back up onto the bed and waited for the big reveal. Riley flipped the book over and Louis widened his eyes. It looked just like Louis. His hair, his eyes, his mouth, his hands, his legs, everything. 

"This is super good Ri," Louis looked up then instantly frowned seeing Riley narrowing his eyes. "You okay?" Louis mumbled. 

"Mhm," Riley blinked out of it and shifted his legs. "Maybe just- just- I don't like nicknames," he mumbled shyly and Louis nodded. 

"Okay, I'm sorry," Louis smiled and patted Riley's shoulder. "Let me draw you," Louis changed the subject and held his hand out. 

"Can you even draw?"

"No, but I can build a birdhouse so I can probably draw you," Louis teased making Riley laugh. Riley climbed up on the other bed and sat the same way Louis did with the same expression. Except Riley looked much cuter doing it or so Louis thought. 

~

"Done," Louis smiled and signed his name on the bottom.

"That was like five minutes," Riley laughed and slid off the bed walking to Louis. 

"That's all I take," Louis smiled and glanced at Riley hoping he would get his dirty comment but he didn't even smile. 

"Let me see it," Riley hummed and Louis spun it around. Riley burst out laughing and so did Louis. He hasn't laughed in a really long time. "I look like a rabid dog!" Riley laughed.

"No you don't," Louis shook his head. "I just messed up your hair so it's kind of crazy," Louis chuckled. 

"I'm gonna hang it up," Riley laughed grabbing some tape from his desk. Louis carefully tore the portrait from the book and handed it to to Riley to hang up. "Perfect," he smiled and patted it against the wall. "You can take yours home," Riley said softly.

"Really?" Louis smiled and watched as Riley tore it from the book. "Harry's gonna like it a lot," he beamed. 

"You're gonna give it to him?" Riley slowly closed the sketchbook and set it on his desk. 

"Well yeah, I'm gonna show it to him and maybe hang it on the fridge."

"You live together?" Riley mumbled and his eyes didn't even look at Louis when he talked. 

"Yeah, we're matched, didn't you know that?" Louis tilted his head. 

"I know that," Riley said and started organizing his desk that didn't need organizing at all. 

"But I should probably get going anyway," Louis hopped off the bed. "Harry won't like me being late or not being in his office," Louis rolled his eyes and held the portrait close. 

"Is he gonna choke you again?" Riley said and he still hadn't turned around. 

"What? No, I said Harry didn't do this to me, I swear. You don't have to worry about Harry hurting me, he's a good guy," Louis sighed and opened the door. He waited for Riley's response but didn't get one. "Riley?" He frowned and stepped forward. He gulped and walked over to Riley gently touching his arm. 

"Stop it!" Riley yelped and Louis yanked his hand away. 

"I'm sorry," Louis breathed and stepped back. Riley glanced over his shoulder and shook his head. His eyes filling with tears before he threw himself at Louis. Louis stumbled and hesitantly wrapped his arms around him in a hug. "You're alright," Louis gulped and rubbed his friend's back.


	18. Chapter 18

Twice. Riley has broken down twice and each time it pertains to Harry. Maybe they knew each other. Maybe in the two year gap they did something together and got close. Shit. Except Riley would've said something, Harry would've told him. 

"Can you stay?" Riley hiccuped and stepped back. "It gets really lonely here," he mumbled and Louis frowned. Riley was a nice boy and he even considered him a friend. Not like extremely close but close enough. 

"I- I promised Harry I wouldn't leave the office," Louis spoke softly and the look in Riley's eyes was as if he had just been shot. 

"But you already did," Riley pointed out. "You don't have to stay long, I just- you make me feel better," he breathed out. 

"Make you feel better about what?" Louis tilted his head trying to take everything in. This was a lot for a first day. 

"I don't have any other friends."

That hit Louis, hard. Louis doesn't really have any friends either besides Harry and that wasn't even by choice, technically. 

~

"Don't say anything," Louis said as soon as Harry walked in. Riley was sitting his Harry's office chair. "Just- can he spend the night?" Louis asked. "Just one night? Please?" Louis promised Riley that they didn't have to hang around Harry but that the only way they could hang out was if he was at Louis' house. Riley argued a little bit until Louis hugged him again. Riley really likes hugs. At least he likes Louis' hugs.

Louis jolted as Harry grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the office, closing the door behind him. 

"You don't even know him and I have a feeling you left my office when I told you not to," Harry snapped. 

"Well I did but he- he was hurting and wanted to hang out. I'm allowed to hang out with people," Louis frowned nudging Harry's hand off of his arm because it was starting to hurt. 

"You disobeyed me twice, Louis. Twice. I do this for your own safety and if I can't trust you what else am I supposed to do? Lock you in a room tied to a pole? Because I really rather not treat you like a prisoner."

"You take things so far. I just want to hang out with my friend. No harm done."

"I don't take things far!? I'm telling you what you did wrong! You left the office and you hung out with someone who I told you not to be around!"

"Stop yelling," Louis huffed. "Riley is perfectly fine. He even drew a portrait of me and it was sweet and we laughed and-"

"And did you kiss him?"

"What? No. Why would you even think that?"

"Cause you have a history of it," Harry snapped and Louis felt like his insides were all ripped out. He didn't even know what to say. Harry was such a- god he wanted to strangle him! 

"So now you're going to get mad at me for it?" Louis pouted. "Now is when you're actually going to get mad and jealous and protective?!"

"Shut up, Louis. We're going home," Harry grumbled and walked back into the office. 

"Riley is coming with us," Louis breathed out. 

"He isn't," Harry said grabbing his coat. 

"Why? Why aren't I allowed to have friends!?"

"Because I can't trust you yet!!!" Harry yelled. "I can't trust you Louis! There, cats out of the bag! No more Mr. Nice guy. Get your stuff," he grumbled and motioned to Louis' coat. 

Louis stood there feeling tears building up in his eyes. Harry lied. Harry told him everything was okay before and hat they'd move on and try to fix things and now he's just tearing it all down. 

"I'm sorry, Riley," Louis looked down. "Maybe a different night," he sighed feeling deflated all over again. 

"You could stay at my place," Riley offered and Louis shrugged. 

"Harry won't like that," Louis sighed. Why even bother trying to be himself? He clearly isn't good enough for anyone. He'll just act how people want him to act. 

"Please," Riley stood up slowly. "I-I-really don't want to be alone again."

"Oh shut it," Harry snapped at Riley. Louis tensed up and glanced at Riley who froze completely.

"Don't talk to him like that," Louis gulped and stood in front of Riley. "He's my friend, why can't- I don't care that you don't trust me but at least respect my friends."

"Your friends? You mean the manipulative bastard, the bratty sub, and the overly aggressive ass hole? Now this freak? Ask him what's in his sketchbooks," Harry said. 

Louis frowned and glanced at Riley. Harry had truly reached his breaking point and Louis was petrified. 

"I'm not asking him," Louis gulped. "And I'm not going home with you. I'm staying here," he declared. 

"So you're choosing a stranger over your Dom?" Harry raised his eyebrows. 

"What about fixing us huh? You promised we could move on from this. You promised me Harry. You promised we could learn to love each other just yesterday," Louis sniffled. 

"I was trying but you break the god damn rules every time," Harry rubbed his face. "We're leaving now and we'll discuss this at home," Harry sighed softening up a bit. He reached forward and grabbed Louis' arm but Riley stepped up and slapped Harry's arm down rather hard. 

"Don't touch him," Riley growled and Louis widened his eyes. 

"Riley," Louis frowned and gently tugged on his shirt. 

"No, he- he's being mean and it's not okay," Riley breathed but sounded like he was about ready to go into a panic attack. 

"Louis. We're leaving. Now." Harry snapped and shoved past Riley to get to Louis. Riley gulped and opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out. 

Louis stumbled along as Harry tugged him. He glanced over his shoulder trying to see if Riley was okay. He couldn't tell and couldn't even seem him. 

~

Louis picked at his food at dinner and glared at Harry. Lying, stupid, no good, stupid, stupid, stupid! He wasn't even upset anymore. He was so mad at Harry for lying to him. For making him believe everything would be perfect again. 

"Why'd you lie?" Louis grumbled then sipped his water. 

"I didn't lie," Harry said. "You just pushed me over the edge," he said calmly. 

"It wasn't even a day."

"Dom nature," Harry shrugged.

"Me too," Louis narrowed his eyebrows. 

Louis stopped eating and just stared at Harry. He hated him so much but God did he want to spend forever with him. Just earlier today they were all happy and loving and now this. All hell breaks lose because God forbid Louis makes a friend. 

"You know why we keep fighting?" Harry spoke up ten minutes later. They both had finished eating but neither of them wanted to get up first.

"Why?" Louis huffed. 

"Haven't bonded," Harry said slowly. "Most Dom/subs bond on the first night yet here we are," Harry leaned forward on his elbows. "I don't even know if two Dom's can bond to be honest."

"Then we should find out," Louis clenched his jaw and stood up. He glared at Harry and pushed his plate aside before climbing up onto the table. He crawled across the table until his eyes were level with Harry's. "Shouldn't we?" Louis growled and their lips brushed. 

Harry grabbed Louis' collar and pulled him into a deep kiss. Louis gripped the edge of the table before moving himself to straddle Harry's hips. His bum already rolling down against Harry's thighs. 

"You know why I can't trust you right?" Harry breathed into Louis' mouth. 

"Yeah," Louis huffed and turned his head to kiss Harry harder. 

"But we'll fix it," Harry said between kisses. "And I'm sorry for being mad," he added on. 

"Prove it," Louis whispered and slid off of Harry's lap. He held out his hand and Harry took it into his own quite tightly. Harry led the way through the hall to the bedroom making sure to close the door. 

"I was going to make it all fancy with candles and roses and-"

"I don't need all that," Louis whispered and put his finger on Harry's lips. "I just need you. Only you," he said and he didn't feel so mad anymore. 

Harry hummed and pushed Louis back onto the bed but in a gentle manor. He was clearly having a chance of heart and Louis understood. He knew it would be too good to be true that Harry forgave him so easily. He knew nothing would be normal for a while. He knew Harry's breaking point would happen sooner or later and it did. And now they fix it. They fix everything even it takes forever. 

"I am sorry for snapping today," Harry whispered as he held himself about Louis. "But you are quite frustrating," Harry smirked and Louis bit the inside of his cheek to try and stop himself from smiling. Harry made him feel loved even if that bastard had just yelled at him. He assumed it was a Dom/sub thing like Niall had said. This was Niall and Liam's argument over the blanket except the blanket was the act of Louis cheating. They'd fix it. Louis knew it. He was ready. 

"I know I am," Louis finally smiled. "But you get to deal with it."

"I think I've been doing a relatively good job."

"B minus."

"Whose the teacher now?" Harry smirked and leaned down pressing their lips together. Louis' lips stayed stretched into a small smile as he moved his lips carefully to match Harry's. He had enough of the fighting, of the blow up arguments. After tonight he vowed to be better. He knew after they bonded things would be easier. They'd understand each other, love each other. They'd be everything to one another. 

Louis wasn't sure when his clothes came off but they were both now completely naked and Louis could feel the love bites against his collarbones. Harry left quite a few. He was working on his hip bones now. His mouth sucking against the skin causing Louis to raise his hips. His cock pressed hard against Harry's chest as he rested between Louis' thighs. If Harry sucked on his thighs he'd lose it. 

"Fuck," Louis gasped watching Harry's lips get closer to his cock. He could come just from looking at Harry. 

"Already?" Harry smirked and rubbed his hand against Louis' cock causing friction. Electric ran through Louis' skin. Everything inside of him burned with pleasure. More pleasure than he knew he was capable of feeling. 

"Stop teasing," Louis panted and he watched Harry kiss the side of his cock. 

"Maybe I should leave a mark?" Harry whispered and started to suck on the side of Louis' hard on. Louis knew it wouldn't actually leave a mark but fuck it feel really good.

"Harry please, fuck," Louis arched his back and felt his cock get engulfed into Harry's warm mouth. "Harry! Oh fuck!" Louis whined and gripped his own hair trying his hardest not to come. He wanted to. His breathing was heavy and he felt Harry's hand slip under his ass. "Shit," Louis hissed and pushed his ass down trying to prevent Harry from fingering him. Harry sucked harder on his cock and he tensed his legs up. Harry leaned up and started bobbing his head up and down. Louis' cock fucking inside of his Dom's mouth. 

Harry slid off and traced his thumb around Louis' tip making Louis fidget. He tried backing up against the headboard feeling overwhelmed with pleasure and he had to come. He needed to come so bad. His eyes were watering and his head was spinning. 

"Gonna make you feel so good baby," Harry whispered and slowly striped his tongue up Louis' stomach and chest. Louis whimpered and threw his head back. He felt his stomach tighten up and he shook his head. 

"I have to come," Louis panted like he has just sprinted a hundred yards. 

"No," Harry whispered and kissed under Louis' chin. Harry was so turned on by this it was so fucking hot. 

"Please," Louis whimpered and bit down on his bottom lip as Harry kissed along his jaw. "Please, daddy," Louis whispered and Harry hesitated for a minute. Louis smiled hoping that was his key out. 

Harry didn't answer back and reached over for the small lube bottle. He sat up and Louis watched–his main focus on the way Harry's cock twitched. God it was so thick and big and Louis wanted all of it. 

Louis moved to the end of the bed under Harry's instructions as Harry laid on his back. Louis gulped and started crawling on top of Harry before Harry stopped him. 

"If you think you're riding me you're funny," Harry smirked. 

Louis gulped and sat back on his legs holding his cock in his hand. Harry didn't seem to mind that. 

"I need you though," Louis begged and Harry held out the lube bottle. Louis glanced at it and frowned. 

"After you prep yourself," Harry said and wrapped his hand around his cock. Louis snatched the bottle and put some on his fingers. He tossed the lube onto the bed then reached back. He slid a fingertip in before Harry stopped him. "Turn around so I can see, baby," Harry cooed. Louis huffed and rotated so his ass was on show for Harry. "Actually come up here, I have a better idea," Harry hummed and Louis narrowed his eyebrows. He crawled onto Harry and straddled his waist, fighting with everything in him not to sit on Harry's cock and ride himself over the edge. "Keep coming," Harry said and Louis found that ironic because he wasn't even allowed to fucking come yet. He inched his way up until his cock was above Harry's face. "I'll give you the pleasure of riding my face but that's it," Harry hummed and Louis nearly came. His tip leaking and he wasn't even sure he'd be able to hold off if Harry's tongue got anywhere near his hole. He could handle a few spanks though.

Louis positioned his ass about Harry's head and felt Harry shift a bit before he held onto Louis' hips. Fuck. Louis' hand flew to his cock and put his palm over the tip as if that would stop him from coming. He widened his eyes as the warm, wetness of Harry's tongue entered his ready heat. 

"Harry I can't!" Louis whined and reached forward grabbing the headboard until his knuckles turned white. Harry flicked his tongue faster as Louis' body involuntarily rolled itself against his Dom's tongue. "I really can't," Louis panted and his nails dug into the headboard. He whimpered like a hurt dog and felt a tear slip down his cheek. "Can I?" Louis needed permission. "Harry?!" He begged and shook his head biting down on his lip tasting blood. Harry kept fucking his tongue into Louis' ass like he didn't even hear his sub's request. "Harry?" Louis whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut. He gasped as Harry pushed his hands up on Louis' thighs and flipped them over rather quickly. 

"You've been such a good boy, not coming for daddy," Harry smirked and Louis stared up at Harry. His legs pushed up into the air. "Gonna fuck you right over the edge yeah?" Harry hummed and Louis nodded. That was enough for Harry and his cock eased into Louis' begging hole. Louis gasped and his body arched. 

"Harry!" He moaned and tilted his head back, contorting his body. Harry's fingers gripping against Louis' legs to keep them up. Louis felt like he was shocked with electricity. He twitched beneath Harry and felt every movement of Harry's cock inside of him. "Oh! Harry!" He screamed and dug his fingers into the sheets as Harry began trusting. The bed squeaked beneath them and he was sure it was going to break. Louis twisted his head side to side feeling everything in his body go euphorically numb. This was what it was like. This is what it was like to actually have sex with your match. This is the feeling Niall has gone on about. 

"Baby?" Harry hummed and Louis fluttered his eyes open meeting green. "You have to breath," he whispered an Louis nodded. He must have stopped. He couldn't even describe the feeling as Harry fucked him. How long had it been? Did he come yet? He couldn't tell he just felt so good everywhere. 

His body rolled perfectly in sync with Harry's and everything was perfect. They weren't fighting. They weren't jealous. They were Harry and Louis. They were one. 

"Fuck," Harry hissed and Louis blinked back to reality. At least, partially. Everything was still fuzzy. He gained feeling back and widened his eyes at how badly he had to come. "Fuck Lou," Harry cursed and Louis couldn't take that. The way his name slid from Harry's mouth was the poison. He came undone and he came. His body became paralyzed with pleasure before another wave hit him. Harry's head thrown back as his load shot into Louis. They both groaned and Louis felt like he was floating. He was definitely floating. There was no bed, no floor, just him. 

He could see Harry moving and he could feel him a little bit but other than that everything was really tingly. His fingertips, his toes, his belly, his cock. 

"Mmm," Harry hummed and kissed Louis' temple. Did Harry even pull out? He couldn't tell. Was he dead? No, death doesn't feel this good. "Baby?" Harry whispered into his ear and Louis felt like he was being pulled out of a wonderland. 

"Huh?" Louis said and Harry tilted his head over. The look in Louis' eyes was gone. 

"I'll talk to you in a minute," he whispered with a small chuckle. He caressed Louis' face then sat up. Louis reached his hand out for him but caught air. Is this how he's gonna feel every time they fuck? Because if it is then Louis wants to be signed up for it immediately.


	19. Chapter 19

Louis laid on his side and just gazed at Harry. He was so cute. His pink lips slightly parted just far enough to allow a small fly in. His eyelashes looked longer than usual as they rested against his cheeks. Louis didn't even hesitate to reach up and gently nudge the hair off of Harry's forehead. He felt like it was tickling his face or something. Harry was perfect. He was the light that Louis needed. He was just- Louis couldn't even make up enough metaphors to explain how much Harry meant to him. Maybe he was still high from his orgasm or maybe Harry was right and having sex really does bond a Dom and a sub. Or in this case two Dom's. Could that even happen? This could just all be a placebo effect and Louis was actually in love with Harry or on the road to being in love. Whichever it was Louis wanted Harry forever. 

"I'm sorry," Louis whispered and bit down on his lip. He didn't have the balls to apologize for everything he's done out loud. Sleeping Harry would have to do. "I'm sorry I'm a pain in the ass, I'm sorry I'm not the perfect sub," Louis went on. "And I'm so so so fucking sorry that I cheated because I really wasn't thinking and I'll live with that guilt for the rest of my life but I won't be able to live without you. I just know I won't be able to. And I'm sorry that everything in your life has gotten turned upside down because of me. In sorry I'm a stubborn brat that doesn't listen to a word you say cause he thinks he's more independent and better off on how own. But I'm really not. I really can't function on my own and that's why I fuck up so much. And I'm sorry that you take the heat of it all and I'm just sorry and I don't really know what else to say. But I know actions speak louder than words so starting tomorrow, and I actually mean it this time, I'm going to be really good for you. I'm going to be the best version of myself that I can be because you make me want to be that," Louis whispered and sniffled softly. He leaned forward and kissed Harry's forehead softly, his lips lingering for longer than need by as if the kiss would just heal every fault that Louis has made. 

He pulled away and expected Harry to be awake like he would be if this were a movie but no. He laid their perfectly asleep and undisturbed. Maybe he would dream about Louis apologizing. 

"Goodnight Harry," Louis whispered and cuddled into his Dom's chest knowing all too well that he'd have to actually apologize tomorrow. He'd have to apologize to a very much awake Harry. He closed his eyes and tried getting as close to Harry as possible. They were one now. That's how it should always be. Louis took and deep breath and paused when Harry's arms slinked around his waist. 

"Goodnight Louis," he whispered and Louis blushed. The bastard was awake and heard everything he said. Louis smiled and glanced up seeing the same smile on Harry's face. They didn't even need to go into further conversation because they understood each other. Louis meant every word he said and he'd stand by it. Even if his past promises didn't work out he knew he had to make this one work. It was the only way him and Harry could actually make it through this. And they would do it together. 

~

Louis tapped his leg nervously up and down as they were driving to the apartment complex to get Louis' things. He had honestly kind of forgot about his stuff because he shared Harry's so much. It was Thursday now and Louis and Harry haven't argued once. Although three days isn't that much time but to them it was good. Everything has been good. Louis is learning to make dinner, he works on his assignments when Harry's not fucking him over the desk, him and Riley have only texted so far. It's been good. It's been how it's supposed to be. 

"I'm right here," Harry cooed and rubbed Louis' thigh. "We aren't going inside. You're literally just climbing out of my car and into yours and then we're going home," Harry explained while caressing his hand alone Louis' thigh. His fingers tips lingering a little closer each time he rubbed. Louis couldn't even began to count the hickeys on his inner thighs. 

"I know, I know," Louis nodded as he had this horrible fear one of them would be outside. He'd prefer Niall over Zayn but he's prefer Zayn over Liam. However, with Louis' luck all of them would be outside. 

They pulled up into a parking space and Louis shifted in his seat. He saw his car and their was no one outside. 

"Just follow me," Harry said as Louis unbuckled. Louis knew how to get to Harry's house from here but Harry insisted Louis follow him in case something went wrong. Harry was rambling on today about how Liam may have cut the brakes or something. 

They also discussed restraining orders but only on Liam which surprised Louis because he swore Harry would want Zayn to stay away. Not that Louis wanted him around he just thought that's what Harry would have wanted. As for Niall, Louis had a feeling they wouldn't be seeing each other anymore so their friendship would fade which really hurt him. Niall hasn't even texted but then again Liam probably took his phone away. 

Louis slipped his key into the car and opened the door noticing a envelope on the front seat with a key. It was the key Zayn had to Louis' car. He knew it was his because he was the only other person with a key to Louis' car. And the envelope had Louis' name written on it in Zayn's handwriting. He sighed set the key and envelope in the passenger seat. 

"Louis!" A voice gasped and Louis spun around getting slammed back into the front seat with a very, over-excited Niall hugging him to death. He heard a car door slam which meant Harry was on his way over. 

Louis closed his eyes and hugged Niall back as he missed his hugs. He missed Niall. Even if he was a brat and a tattle tail, Louis was no better. 

"Excuse me," Harry cleared his throat and Louis wiggled around under Niall until the two subs manages to stand up. Niall glanced at Harry and stepped back from Louis. No one said anything as they had no idea what to say. 

"Hi," Louis mumbled to Niall deciding to ignore Harry for the time being. Niall has never been much of a problem and now that mostly everything is kind of solved he isn't too mad at Niall anymore. 

"Hi," Niall blushed and swayed on his feet. "Hi, Harry," he gulped and Louis tensed up. Where was Liam? He should be back from work now?

"Hi," Harry said and glanced at Louis letting him know they should be going. 

"Can I have one minute?" Louis gulped as he just needed to speak to Niall. Just for one minute. Harry didn't look happy but he nodded holding up one finger before shuffling back to his car. 

"I'm sorry," Niall blurted out and bit his lip. "I'm really sorry for you know not stopping you and Zayn and now you aren't around anymore and I feel really bad about it and-"

"I forgive you," Louis smiled softy. "It's been a hectic week and I miss you, too," Louis said and stepped forward grabbing him into another hug. Fuck Liam. If Louis wants to hug his best friend he can. "And I'm sorry I pushed you."

"Liam didn't mean it you know?" Niall mumbled and he kept his chin on Louis' shoulder. "Well he did but I- he's going to classes now. He's going to start next week."

"He's actually going to go?" Louis titled his head as Liam isn't one to seek out help. 

"I made him," Niall pulled away. "He scared me really bad so I think that also made him want to go." Louis nodded and gently petted Niall's hair out of the way. 

"Why don't you text me?" Louis frowned. 

"Oh," Niall said and smiled softly. "I dropped my phone down the steps," he said and Louis shook his head with a small smile. "I would've used Zayn's phone to text you but he isn't really around," Niall trailed off. 

"What's that mean?" Louis gulped. 

"Louis," Harry called and Louis frowned. 

"He only comes home sometimes if he needs like a shirt or something," Niall shrugged. "He hasn't been home in two days and we can't get ahold of him."

"What?" Louis panicked and felt Harry touch his shoulder. "Hold on," Louis huffed. "Two days? That's- you can file for a missing person."

"Who are we talking about?" Harry stepped in and Louis tensed up. 

"No one," he mumbled then he felt a twist in his stomach for lying. "Zayn," he said softly and glanced at Harry out of the corner of his eye. Harry's face fell and he nodded clearly upset with the conversation. 

"I'm sure he'll show up," Harry said and gently put his hand on Louis' back. 

"Yeah," Louis breathed out as Zayn was just being difficult. He was just feeling lonely and probably had no one to talk to. Louis shouldn't even be feeling sad though. Zayn treated him like shit but he's still his friend. Maybe. He still has to look out for him. 

He probably went to a motel and is smoking his problems away while banging a bunch of subs. Yeah, that's what he's doing. 

"Text me when you get your phone fixed," Louis sighed and hugged Niall again. 

"I will," Niall grinned and kissed Louis' cheek. "I'll see you later Lou," he waved softly as Louis climbed into the car. Harry helped him in than walked back to his car. 

~ 

Louis sat on the bed and stared at the envelope that had been taunting him the entire ride home. Harry was in the shower which only gave him so much time to read the letter. He ripped open the seal and pulled out the loose leaf piece of paper. He unfolded it and bit his lip seeing Zayn's handwriting. The pen was slightly smudged but that's not what worried Louis. What worried him was what the letter said. 

I'm going to be away for a bit. I don't know why I'm telling you but I just needed to go see someone and talk to him. Don't try looking for me because you need to focus on Harry. I'll be okay. 

-Z 

Louis crumpled up the piece of paper and then felt his phone vibrate. Riley texted him so much. Poor kid was always lonely. 

Riley: hi 

Louis: hey

Riley: I'm bored :/ can we hang out tomorrow?

Louis stared at the message then stared at the crumpled up note. He quickly unfolds it and flattens it out taking a picture of it. He can't discuss it with Harry because he won't care but Riley is fair game. 

Louis: what's this mean?

He sent and attached the picture. He heard Harry turn the shower off so he ripped the note up and threw it away. 

Riley: he's visiting someone I guess why? Whose Z?

Louis glanced up at the doorway and then back down at his phone. 

Louis: my friend Zayn. We're kind of friends. He left me that note but he doesn't have anyone to visit. His friends are all here 

Riley: you named my character after your friend? I didn't know that 

Louis: your character kind of looks like him. Anyway, I'm worried Riley :(

Riley: :( maybe he's just visiting his family 

Louis: the note says he's visiting someone though. A him to be exact. 

Riley: he doesn't have any other friends? 

Louis: not that I know of

Harry walked in and Louis closed out of the messaging app to open up Candy Crush. He needed Riley's help on beating a level again. 

"What do you want for dinner tonight?" Harry asked running a towel through his hair. Louis locked his phone and watched Harry's muscles flex and move and the bastard was just walking around butt ass naked. 

"Sushi," Louis mumbled watching Harry's ass as he sifted through the dresser for some close. 

"I was thinking something else," Harry smiled and slipped a shirt on over his head. Louis watched with a watering mouth as Harry dressed himself. "You alright?" Harry smiled glancing at Louis in the mirror that has since been replaced. 

"Mhm," Louis nodded and watched as Harry turned around. 

"Good," Harry said and nudged Louis back onto the bed kissing his lips softly. 

"What were you thinking about for dinner?" Louis asked fluttering his eyelashes. 

"You," Harry smirked and nipped the tip of Louis' nose before sliding down his body. Louis gasped and lifted his hips so Harry could easily slide his pants and boxers down. 

Louis titles his head back as Harry's mouth engulfed his cock. Harry was literally born to suck cock. He was hand chosen and his mouth was crafted to give blow jobs. Louis tangled his fingers into Harry's hair and moaned before Harry's hand slipped under his ass.

"Harry!" Louis squeaked. "You forgot lube," he mumbled. Harry lifted his head up and Louis glanced down. Louis giggled and scooted over a bit fumbling for the lube from the nightstand table to give to Harry. 

"Thank you," Harry whispered and kissed Louis' tip. Louis gasped and narrowed his eyebrows. 

"Wait," Louis said and stuck his foot out pinning Harry's hand to the bed. "I'm gonna get something," he smiled and scurried off the bed. Harry narrowed his eyebrows watching Louis scurry to the closet. Louis bent down and pulled out his birthday box. He bit his lip and gasped feeling Harry's hands grab his hips. 

"What are you looking for?" Harry hummed rubbing lube along Louis' rim as he was bent over. Louis hesitated and grabbed what he was looking for. He held them up behind him and waited for a response. "You're under arrest," Harry said and grabbed the hand cuffs Niall has gifted him last week. Louis gulped and felt Harry tug his hands behind his back. Louis winced and felt his wrist rest on his back as Harry made him stand up straight. "Against the wall," Harry said and pushed on Louis' back. "Spread 'em." Louis spread his legs and glanced over his shoulder just as Harry dropped to his knees. He hissed and curled his fingers into fist as Harry's tongue dove between his cheeks.

"Harry!" Louis gasped as Harry's hand crashed down on his cheek.

"It's officer," Harry mumbled then returned to eating out Louis' ass.

Louis wiggled his hands desperate to touch himself. His cock ached and his spread open hole begged for Harry's cock. He pushed his bum back against Harry's face only to be rewarded with another slap. He whimpered and bit down on his lip feeling Harry's hand slowly snake around to pump his cock. 

"Stay," Harry said after a minute. Louis already on edge. Harry stood up and walked back to the closet. "You can't see the location I'll be taking you to," Harry said sternly and tied one of his silk ties around Louis' eyes. Harry could definitely be a cop. And if not he'd be a good porn star. Louis' mouth fell open and Harry pulled on his shoulder to get him off of the wall. Louis stepped back and his knees bent back as he was shoved onto the bed. He wiggled a bit and Harry un-did his handcuffs. His wrists became free and he reached down to hold his cock but Harry stopped him. 

"Harry," Louis whined and Harry grabbed Louis around the waist positioning him on his stomach. Louis laid still as Harry straddle his back and handcuffed his hands around one of the headboard poles. Louis tugged and felt the cuffs press into his wrists. His insides turned with anticipation as he knew he was about to be completely destroyed. He gulped and tensed up the minute Harry's tip brushed against his hole. 

"You've been a bad bad boy," Harry growled and slapped his hand down on Louis' already red ass. Louis nodded and bit down into the pillow. His vision black. "Daddy's going to fix that though," he said and grabbed a handful of Louis' hair yanking it back. Louis gasped and parted his lips. 

"Please," Louis whimpered and pushed his ass up. "I want your cock, daddy," he begged and felt Harry's lip crash into his. He kissed him roughly and Harry shoved his tongue into his mouth completely owning Louis. "Fuck me," louis gasped and Harry released his hair. Louis let his had fall and Harry pressed his hands down on Louis' shoulders. "Ah fuck!" Louis squeezed his eyes shut as Harry pushed into him. Louis breathed heavily and his cock ached between his stomach and the mattress. Harry started thrusting and moved his arms to wrap around Louis' to hold them together. Louis whined and felt himself getting fucked hard against the mattress. Harry's entire body rolling down onto him and filling him up completely. 

"You like that? You like my cock?" Harry growled and bit Louis' earlobe. 

"Yes," Louis gasped and nodded tugging his wrists against the cuffs but he wasn't going to break free anytime soon. "Love- fuck-" Louis gasped as Harry's tip smashed into his prostate. 

"Right there hm? Want me to fuck you right there?" Harry smirked and Louis nodded as his prostate got stimulated over and over again. His legs shaking and the butterflies felt like they were exploding inside of him. 

"Oh fuck, fuck right there," Louis nodded and Harry quickened his hips. His fingers digging into Louis' skin to keep him submissive. Louis fidgeted and struggled to get out of the hand cuffs but nothing was working. He lifted his ass up to try and have some control but Harry's strong hips pushed them right back down. He whimpered and turned his head to the side feeling Harry's warm, heavy breath against his cheek then against his neck. 

"You need to come baby?" Harry whispered breathily and Louis nodded. He has gotten a little better at holding off but not by much. "Go ahead," Harry kissed his temple and Louis scrunched his face up. Harry continued to thrust and Louis came onto the sheets. His cock throbbing from all the friction and then he felt Harry's load shoot against his prostate. 

"Uh fuck!" Louis cursed and Harry rode out his high. He let his breathing even out before pulling out. 

~

"Louis!" Riley smiled and ran up to him in the hallway the next day. They didn't text much after Louis had his brains fucked out last night. At least that's how it felt after round three. Louis was going to get coffee for Harry. "Why are you waddling like that?" Riley chuckled as he walked beside Louis.


	20. Chapter 20

Louis tapped his pencil on Riley's desk and huffed. Harry was teaching a class and gave Louis permission to hang out with Riley. Except Harry said in the cafe but Riley needed to come to his room to drop of his books. 

"Did you fall or something?" Riley asked as he leaned against the bed keeping an eye on Louis. He was still hung up on why Louis was waddling. And Louis really didn't feel comfortable telling Riley it was from Harry's dick last night. 

"Yeah," Louis nodded. He was still hung up on Zayn. Who the hell was he visiting? 

"Did he push you?" Riley asked and Louis snapped his head up. Riley always took things this far. It was kind of worrying. 

"No," Louis shook his head. "Harry wouldn't hurt me I've told you that," Louis frowned. 

"Sorry," Riley asked rolling his thumbs around one another. 

"It's alright," Louis sighed. "You don't think it's a- you know- that kind of note right?" Louis gulped not even wanting to have to say the term.

"He would've said goodbye at least," Riley said quietly still hung up on Louis' waddle. Louis nodded and closed his eyes trying to think. 

He sat there and heard Riley walk closer before he felt fingertips on his neck. Louis opened his eyes and met Riley's. 

"What are you doing?" Louis asked and raised an eyebrow as Riley gently traced his fingers over Louis' neck. 

"Checking," Riley mumbled and Louis narrowed his eyebrows. 

"Checking for what exactly?" 

"Your bruises are healing," he said and stepped back. 

"Yeah," Louis nodded and rubbed his neck. Riley stared at him a while longer before taking a deep breath. 

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked and Louis shrugged. What an odd question?

"Sure," Louis said and rocked back in the desk chair as Riley got a apple juice from the mini-fridge. "That's cute," Louis chuckled and held his hand out for the bottle. Riley undid the cap and placed it into Louis' hand gently nudging it so the contents spilled onto Louis. "Fuck," Louis stood up and set the bottle down as the juice soaked into his shirt and pants. 

"Oh I'm sorry," Riley frowned and grabbed a few paper towels. Louis started patting at the juice to soak it up. "Do you want new clothes? You'll be sticky all day," Riley said and Louis nodded. Harry was going to kill him. But they weren't doing anything. It was just apple juice. Besides, him coming to Riley's room was the only rule he broke. 

"Thank you," Louis said and stripped his shirt off. He felt Riley's eyes on him so he turned around. He jumped when Riley's hand touched his side. "Riley," Louis warned and turned around. 

"He does hurt you," Riley mumbled and motioned to the small bruises on Louis' sides from Harry's fingertips. 

"No those aren't- we were-" Louis stuttered. It's just sex. Everyone has sex. "He was just holding me down while we were having sex."

"He raped you?" Riley whimpered and Louis winced. 

"No no no," Louis frowned. "Like- it was all apart of the like- it was consensual I promise you," Louis said and stepped forward hesitantly touching Riley's shoulder. "I know you're concerned for me but you have to trust me okay? Harry wouldn't hurt me on purpose," Louis whispered and he received a tiny nod from Riley. "Trust me?"

"I trust you," Riley mumbled and stepped back. Louis sighed and slipped the new shirt over his head. It surprisingly fit even if Riley was smaller than Louis. 

"Okay," Louis nodded and stepped back. He quickly changed his pants and he knew Riley was watching him but he didn't say anything mainly because Louis' legs were clear. The hickeys were on his inner thighs and his cheek were red so everything was hidden under his boxers. "Do you want to go back to the cafe now?" Louis asked and Riley nodded. 

~

"That's not the shirt you left in," Harry noted as he walked back into the office. 

"Riley spilt apple juice on me so we had to go back to his room to get me new clothes," Louis said as that wasn't a lie. Just the time and place was slightly altered. 

"Okay," Harry said and Louis raised an eyebrow. Just okay? 

"Right," Louis said under his breath. "How was class?" He asked and put his feet up on the desk. 

"Feet off," Harry said and Louis huffed but slid his legs down. Harry slid between Louis and the desk. "It was fine," he mumbled and Louis narrowed his eyebrows. 

"What'd you teach today?" Louis asked and bit his lip. 

"Chemistry," Harry said and kept his eyes on Louis. Louis shifted in his seat and frowned. 

"Was it hard?"

"No."

"Did you give a pop quiz?"

"No."

"Are the students understanding it?"

"Kind of."

"Are you mad at me?" Louis gulped and looked up at him with big baby blue eyes. 

"Yes." 

Louis frowned and sat up. He felt like he was just kicked in the stomach. 

"All I did was go to Riley's room for clothes. We didn't do anything I promise," Louis frowned and he felt so stupid. He wanted to cry and bang his head into a wall. 

"That's not what I'm mad about," Harry said and Louis watched as he reached into his back pocket. Louis gulped when he pulled out Louis' phone. His pants didn't have pockets earlier so he had Harry hold his phone but he never got it back. "Want me to read which message I'm mad about?" Harry hummed and unlocked Louis' phone. 

Louis narrowed his eyebrows and started thinking of everything he's ever sent. The conversation with Riley was about Zayn but Harry would've seen the note and known Zayn was missing. He can't be mad about Louis worrying. Unless, unless he only read the one text Louis sent to Zayn this morning. 

"I know what I said," Louis let his head fall. 

"I'm going to read it anyway," Harry cleared his throat. Louis shook his head and felt ready to vomit. "To Zayn, I really really miss you and I want everything to be okay. Could you just tell me where you are please?" Harry read then locked the phone. Louis wiped his cheeks off with tears and shook his head. 

"I don't miss him," Louis lied and stood up slowly. "I just- I said that because he's missing and he- he left me this letter and I don't know where he is," Louis hiccuped. 

"Bullshit," Harry snapped and threw Louis' phone down. Louis winced and his bottom lip trembled. 

"I'm telling the truth," Louis whimpered. "I am, I don't- he's missing Harry," Louis cried.

"And Riley split Apple juice on you...okay," Harry rolled his eyes. 

"Stop it! I'm telling the truth!" Louis yelled in frustration. "I can show you the letter Zayn gave me."

"Oh he gave it to you? When'd you see him? Did you sneak out and give him a quickie too?"

Louis winced and felt like a million bullets were slamming through his skin. 

"I haven't seen Zayn since he left!" Louis cried and quickly grabbed his phone from the ground. "I have the letter on my phone, he left it in my car," Louis hiccuped and tried unlocking his phone. His hands shook but the screen was shattered. "I-I- Riley has it," Louis said as the photo should be in Riley's messages. 

"Of course he does," Harry snorted and Louis looked up. "Share your secrets with the psychopath you just met," Harry snapped. 

"He's isn't a psychopath," Louis frowned and stumbled up to his feet. "He's my friend and he cares and I can't- I have to have friends Harry. You're always at work and I'm stuck in your fucking office!" Louis yelled.

"Don't yell at me when all I'm doing is looking out for you!" Harry raised his voice and Louis stepped back. 

"You don't even trust me! I'm telling the truth!" 

"How can I trust you!? I'm trying to but you keep giving me reasons not to!" 

"Let me- I just- Zayn is missing and I'm worried okay? That's it! And Riley and I are friends. We talk about classes and art and that's it. I'm telling the truth I promise," Louis sobbed and covered his face with his hands. His body shaking as he couldn't keep doing this. He was trying so hard but his whole fucking life was just one cluster fuck. "I know I'm a fuck up but you continuously reminding me of everything I've done doesn't help!" Louis cried as he just needed to blame someone. 

"You're such a cry baby," Harry groaned. "Blame yourself for once," Harry snapped. "You put everything on yourself yet you expect everyone else to take the blame."

"Shut up," Louis whimpered and felt Harry grab his shoulders. Louis winced and looked down.

"Why? Because you don't like hearing the truth? The truth that you choose to cheat on him, the truth that you still love Zayn-

"Stop it!" Louis screamed and slapped his hand across Harry's face. Louis ducked down and sprinted out of the office. His hand hurt and his head hurt and he couldn't even see clearly because his tears were making everything blurry. He ran up three flights of stairs and started knocking on Riley's door. He wiggled the door handle but no one was answering. 

He sank down onto the floor and leaned his head back against the door before it slowly opened. 

"You scared me," Riley yawned and Louis stumbled to his feet to hug Riley close. "Oh," Riley gulped and they stumbled back as Louis was stronger than Riley. "Are you okay?" Riley frowned and gently rubbed Louis' back. 

"No," Louis whimpered. "I need your phone," he hiccuped and pulled away. Riley glanced at him then hesitantly gave his phone to Louis. Louis sniffled and wiped his runny nose before typing in a number. Voicemail. 

"It's Louis, answer your phone. Now."

"Who did you call?" Riley asked and Louis stared at the phone. They stood in silence for about ten minutes before the number called back. Louis quickly pressed answer and held the phone to his ear. 

"Louis?"

"Zayn, I can't do this anymore."


	21. Chapter 21

"Can't do what? Are you crying? Louis where are you and whose phone are you on?" Zayn frowned and Louis quickly wiped his face. Riley was staring at him with these big blue wide stupid innocent eyes. 

"I'm on my friends phone and I just didn't know what to do and you're missing and I'm worried and everything feels like a million pounds right now. And I know we said goodbye but you're still my best friend and I need your help," Louis rambled. He didn't even know what he was saying and he didn't know why he was coming to Zayn for help. The one who broke his heart. The one who left and caused so much suffering and pain. 

"Okay," Zayn said softly. 

"Really?" Louis gulped. He needed help. He needed someone. "I- can you at least tell me where you are? I- I'll come to you if it's easier," Louis said quickly. He glanced at Riley who raised his eyebrow. It was Friday so they didn't have anything to do in the morning and Harry and him were fighting. He couldn't deal with Harry right now. His hand still stung from hitting him. Zayn stayed quiet for a minute which worried Louis that he would hang up or something. 

"Meet me at 135 Sidehill Dr. Okay? It's about an hour drive? Your friend can come too so you aren't alone," Zayn said and Louis looked around for a pen to write that down. 

"Okay okay," Louis nodded. "What's at that address?" Louis asked. 

"A friend of mine who helped me," Zayn said. "He's really good at listening." 

"Do I know him?" 

"Mhm," Zayn hummed. "I'll meet you there okay? Be careful," Zayn said and hung up. 

"Where are you going?" Riley asked glancing over at the address. 

"We're going here to meet my friend Zayn," Louis said and grabbed the paper. "Do you have a car?" He tilted his head. 

"Yeah," Riley mumbled. 

~ 

Louis had texted Harry from Riley' phone letting him know he'd be home later tonight. He had things he needed to solve. Louis drove and Riley gave the directions on the phone. 

"Is this right?" Louis asked as they drove along on a dirt path. Riley glanced at the phone and nodded. 

"Yeah," Riley said and looked up. "It'll be on the right," he said. Louis drove a bit longer before spotting Zayn's car parked in the parking lot of a cemetery. 

Zayn visiting someone. A him. Good at listening. Zayn was visiting Ryan...

Louis gulped and parked beside Zayn's car and glanced at him out of the side of his eye. He turned the car off and slowly got out of the car. His heart racing as he really did miss Zayn. Riley got out the other side and stood behind Louis. 

"Hey," Zayn said softly and smiled that endearing smile. He looked tired. 

"Hi," Louis gulped. "This is my friend, Riley," Louis said and stepped to the side. Riley glanced up and stared at Zayn for a bit before looking down. Zayn stared back then shook his head. 

"Come on," Zayn said and motioned for Louis to follow him. Louis gulped and stood his ground. 

"Where are we going?" Louis asked even though he already knew. 

"To talk to my friend," Zayn said. "He's kind of shy," Zayn teased with a timid smile and held his hand out to Louis. Louis glanced down then at Riley then back to his hand. He took it and gently let Zayn lead him to Ryan's grave. There were lots of flowers around it. "Ryan, this is Louis, Louis this is Ryan," Zayn said. "Sorry for overwhelming you with all this talk but Louis needs someone to listen if that's okay?" Zayn said and let go of Louis' hand. 

"Zayn..." Louis frowned. 

"It's okay," Zayn whispered. "He already helped me," he said. "Go ahead and sit down," he motioned to the grass and Louis kneeled down. 

"What did he help you with?" Louis sniffled and glanced up at Zayn who had watery eyes. He loved Ryan and Ryan wasn't even in his life. 

"A lot of stuff," Zayn said and sat down. Riley curled his toes and sat down on the other side of Louis keeping his eye on Zayn. "I came here two days ago and talked to him about you. He knows about us but he wasn't mad. And he helped me realize that you can't take what you have for granted because I know I've been holding onto him and to you for a long time but there's someone else out there for me. Someone whose gonna love me and make life worth living. Not that you didn't but you have Harry. That's who you belong to. Ryan didn't have someone like that. He didn't get a chance to have someone like that and I realized I can't sit here and hold onto the past when there is someone out there who needs me."

"Like Harry needs me?" Louis sniffled. 

"Yeah," Zayn whispered. "Do you want to talk to him alone? Riley and I can wait by the cars," Zayn suggested. Louis looked down then at Riley knowing he didn't do good with Doms. 

"Is that okay Riley?" Louis asked and Riley nodded slowly. "Yeah," he told Zayn. He watched Zayn and Riley walked back to the cars together and Riley didn't even look scared. 

Louis turned back around and stared at the grave stone. Ryan Walker, loving son, 1997-2015. Louis sighed and pursed his lips. He was so young. 

"Hi Ryan," Louis sniffled. "You probably know me because of Zayn which probably makes you a little bit jealous but I promise I've taken care of him. At least before everything went wrong. He's a really good guy and I know you would love him. You probably still love him sitting up on that fluffy cloud of yours," Louis smiled. "But I just- I guess I need a third party opinion about well- my life," Louis gulped and picked at the grass. "I really don't want to explain everything cause I feel like you've been watching from above eating popcorn and you probably hate me because I'm such a fuck up. I'm that annoying character in a TV series who can't get anything right. But I'm trying and maybe I'm not trying hard enough but I feel like I am. Well kind of. I don't know," Louis sighed. "I guess if I was trying hard enough I wouldn't be in this mess right?" Louis looked up and nodded. "Yeah I agree," he sighed and looked back down. "I just have no idea how to fix it. I mean Zayn said you helped him move on and I'm glad that he's going to actually be matched with his new sub but what about me? How do I fix all this, Ryan?" He sniffled and wiped his eyes. "Do you get re-tested? Do I- do I keep trying and breaking Harry's heart? What do I do?" He sighed and tossed the grass down. He stayed quiet and read over Ryan's grave stone again and again until it was etched into the back of his mind. "You never had someone to love did you?" Louis frowned. "It's amazing really," Louis smiled. "I mean I know I loved your Dom but it makes you feel all bubbly and happy and- and- now I have Harry and- I'm-I'm matched with him so I have to love him. No, I do love him. I love Harry and I'm- this isn't fair. This isn't fair that I'm crying over this. You haven't had anyone to love and here I am complaining about love. I'm literally taking it all for granted. I'm taking it all and smashing it into a million pieces yet you didn't even get a chance," Louis narrowed his eyebrows. "I have to stop this. I have to stop all this whining don't I? I have someone who is giving me his all and I keep pushing him away," Louis huffed and stood up. "I have to fix this. I have to because I have a chance to," Louis nodded and patted the top of Ryan's tombstone. He smiled and glanced up. "Thank you," he whispered. "And rest in peace. Oh and if you see my dog, Mitus, tell him Louis misses him," he sniffled. He bit his lip then turned back around walking back to Zayn and Riley. 

"You okay?" Zayn tilted his head and Louis threw his arms around Zayn. "Oh," Zayn chuckled. 

"Thank you," Louis whispered. 

"I didn't do anything," Zayn smiled and pulled away glancing at Riley. 

"You introduced me to a helpful friend," Louis said. 

"Yeah," Zayn grinned. "He's alright," he said and bit his lip.

"I'm gonna fix all of this," Louis said. "Riley, come on we're going back," Louis instructed and started walking to the car. He got to it and turned around realizing Riley wasn't following him. 

"I'm gonna stay here," Riley mumbled and glanced at Zayn. Louis raised his eyebrow and marched back over. 

"Don't you hurt his little heart got it?" Louis poked Zayn's chest and Zayn smiled.

"I won't," Zayn grinned. "Go fix the one you hurt though, okay?" He said and Louis nodded. Zayn had let go of him so Louis could let go, too. Louis smiled at Riley and winked. 

"Ask Riley about his cartoon!" Louis yelled over his shoulder and climbed into Riley's car. Zayn would take Riley home sometime this weekend. 

~ 

Step one: apologize to Harry  
Step two: apologize to Harry again   
Step three: own up to everything you caused and apologize again  
Step four: don't promise you'll make everything better. Actually do it. Act upon it.   
Step five: apologize again and make a nice home cooked meal then suggest to watch a movie and make out 

Louis gulped as he walked up to the front porch. He slid the key in then pushed the door open. It was quiet and dark but Harry's car was in the driveway so he was defiantly home. Louis closed the front door and forced himself to walk down the hallway to the bedroom. 

"Harry?" He went to knock softly on the door but hesitated.

"No I have no idea what I'm doing wrong," Harry cried and Louis felt his heart twist. "I forgive him and I love him and I do everything and he makes it all so fucking difficult mom," Harry whimpered. "This isn't- I can't give him anything more if he doesn't give it back." 

Louis gulped and pushed the door open. He made Harry cry. 

"I'm sorry," Louis blurted out. "I'm sorry and I'm sorry and I'm sorry and everything is my fault and you've been nothing but good to me when all I've done is cause shit. And I don't care if you want to get rid of me but I can't just stand here and pretend none of this is my fault when it really it. I don't want Zayn and I don't want Riley but I want you. And if you don't want me then I understand but I'll always want you and I'm gonna be around until you tell me to go away because I love you or at least I know I'm going to love you and I know this all is a shit show right now but I'll make it better. I'll actually make this better. I'll make us better and you can not believe me but that's okay I wouldn't believe me either. I don't even like me right now. And no one really likes me right now except maybe Riley but he's just like a little baby. So if you want to give up on me then go ahead but I'm not gonna give up yet because I know we can fix this and I know that we were matched for a reason," Louis blurted out. He took deep breaths and wiped the tears off of his cheeks. 

"Mom? I'll call you back," Harry hung up and just stared at Louis. "Come here," he held his hand out and Louis gulped. He stepped forward and gently took Harry's hand. Louis watched Harry's eyes and frowned.

"I really am sorry," Louis whispered. "And I don't know how to fix it but I know owning up to it is at least a first step and-" Louis started then got cut off by Harry's lips. He always did that. 

"Louis," Harry whispered and pulled away holding onto his sub's face. "This is the last time," he gulped and Louis nodded. "I mean it, if you- if you lie again or break a promise we're done. I'll find a way to get as unmatched I mean it this time. I won't come crawling back to you if it happens again," he said in a serious tone. 

"I understand," Louis whispered. "I'll be completely honest and completely yours."

"Alright then start with where you went today," Harry whispered and Louis gulped.


	22. Chapter 22

Louis told Harry about Zayn's note and everything up to the current moment. He didn't leave one detail out, not even the fact that Louis was worried. He was allowed to be worried for his former best friend—maybe not former since they made up. At least Louis thought they made up. They didn't argue or point fingers at each other and Zayn seemed to have had actually moved on. It was just a matter of trust at this point. Louis knew Harry and Zayn would never get along or like each other due to the fact they both love Louis. Love doesn't just disappear and Louis can vouch for that. He felt jealous that Zayn moved on before he did but he also felt relieved. If Zayn moved on then that meant Louis needed to, too; not that he wasn't already working on it. This was just a extra shove. 

"So Riley and Zayn are hanging out?" Harry raised an eyebrow. He took to the information well and trusted Louis. It took a lot out of him but he could tell Louis was being completely honest. Of course he was angry at Louis for reaching out to Zayn but it seemed to give him much better closure than before. 

"I guess," Louis shrugged. "Which is odd because Riley doesn't do well with other Doms," Louis explained which was already an obvious point to Harry. Riley has avoided him and given him dirty looks since the day they met. 

"Yeah I know," Harry huffed. "Does he tell you why he doesn't like me?" Harry asked and leaned back against the counter. Louis was standing in front of him. 

"No- well I haven't asked," Louis shrugged. "I mean- he sometimes thinks you hurt me because of the bruises like- from sex but other than that he doesn't ever talk about you- or anyone."

"I would never hurt you," Harry narrowed his eyebrows. 

"I know that's what I tell him but he doesn't really believe me," Louis frowned and glanced up at Harry. 

"He's just looking out for you," Harry said. "Does he do good in school and all?"

"Yeah he's a art major which isn't much hard work I guess but he likes it," Louis smiled. "He drew a portrait of me do you want to see it?" Louis asked and grabbed Harry's hand pulling him into the bedroom where his book bag was lying on the floor. He fumbled around in it until he slid the paper from a folder. He handed it to Harry and smiled softly. "I drew one of him too but it's hanging on his wall."

"He's really good," Harry nodded and handed the drawing back to Louis. "Has he shown you any of his other drawings?" Harry asked with a slight- nervousness maybe- in his voice.

"He shows me pictures of his cartoons. They look oddly like Zayn," Louis explained and he was hesitant are speaking of Zayn. It was such a bitter name to say in the house due to what he causes or what he and Louis caused. The name would become normal again at least that's what Louis prayed for. He didn't want to lose Zayn like that again. Even if it was only a short period of time without him he didn't like the idea of him being forever gone. 

"Hmm," Harry nodded and sat down on the bed. "When I was going through his sketchbook that first day we met he had some—strange— drawings in there." Louis actually let him finish this time. 

"Well people interrupt art differently," Louis said. "And you shouldn't have been snooping either. Sketchbooks are like private journals."

"I know that," Harry sighed. "Which scares me," he glanced at Louis out of the side of his eye. "I didn't get to see all of them but most of them were scratched out or ripped like he hated them. A few I could see and they were of two people fighting-I think- but it was all wild and it was hard to tell what was human and what wasn't." Louis narrowed his eyebrows at Harry and pouted. 

"He's been working on a comic," Louis said softly. "Maybe he's getting his ideas out."

"No, because his comic work was in there, too. The style was so different and it actually made me feel scared looking at them."

"You aren't scared of Riley," Louis huffed out air and shook his head. "It's art, it's creative and expressive. This isn't a movie and he doesn't worship the devil," Louis chuckled lightly. "So get your head out of your ass," Louis nudged Harry's shoulder. 

"And put it in yours?" Harry smirked. 

"I knew that was coming," Louis laughed softly. "But I'm tired and want to sleep."

"It's like 7," Harry raised his eyebrow and held his hands out to Louis. 

"It's like time for bed," Louis leaped forward and crashed down on the bed beside Harry. He crawled up to the top and quickly got under the covers. 

"You find your sarcasm back?" Harry smiled and laid back resting his head on Louis' stomach as Louis laid under the blanket. Harry's body perpendicular to his. 

"Mhm," Louis hummed and reached down to pet Harry's hair. "Did you find yours?"

"I'm not sarcastic," Harry huffed turning his head to face Louis.

"Please," Louis raised his eyebrows. "You did nothing but sass me when we first met."

"You do realize how stubborn you were right? You're still stubborn."

"It's more fun," Louis chuckled. "Like- on a smaller scale," Louis corrected himself. 

"I get what you mean," Harry whispered and sat up. He stood up and unbuttoned his shirt tossing it at Louis. 

"Where are you going?" Louis asked and sat up. He took his shirt off and put Harry's on instead. He was hoping that would become a common ritual. 

"Grade papers so my Sunday sucks a little less."

"You're going to do it shirtless?"

"I can do it naked if you want," Harry winked and walked out of the room. Louis pouted and kicked the comforter off. He followed Harry into his office and closed the door. 

"You won't do it naked."

"Why?" Harry plopped down in his chair. 

"Because the leather chair will be too cold on your ass."

"Then I'll just fuck you to make it warm again," Harry smirked. Louis crossed his arms and leaned back against the closed door. 

"I don't appreciate your sexual innuendos."

"Big word for you," Harry noted with a grin. He rolled forward and picked up a pen. 

"No it isn't. My vocabulary is stupendous."

"Two big words," Harry smirked and held up two fingers before grabbing a stack of reports from the small table beside him. "Am I going to get a third?"

Louis bit his lip and looked down at his feet hoping to pull some inspiration from the ground or something. 

"The clock is ticking," Harry tapped his pen on the desk as Louis thought. 

"Cuddlesome," Louis squeaked. 

"That's not a big word."

"Is to. It's long and has a bunch of letters," Louis laughed and walked forward. "And the definition of cuddlesome is this," he wrapped his arms around Harry and hugged him close.

"You're cheesy," Harry laughed and pulled Louis into his lap. 

"Swiss, provolone, American?"

"God, you sound like me now," Harry laughed and rolled his head back. 

"Sorry," Louis smiled and leaned forward pressing his lips to Harry's. 

This was how it was supposed to be. This is what Louis imagined it would be. He wanted everything from the first week to disappear. It was the longest week of his life and he didn't want it around anymore. He wanted today to be the start. He wanted to make jokes with Harry and cuddle him and talk about stupid things like big words and puns. He didn't want fighting. He didn't want cheating. He wanted this. He wanted Harry. He knew that now. He knew that the pain could've been avoided if he would've just grew a pair and relaxed. He didn't need Zayn. He didn't need Niall. He didn't need Riley. He needed Harry. Sure everyone else was a good accessory but Harry was his all. And he saw that. He saw that in the ten minute conversation they just had. He saw that Harry was his forever and that that could be the answer- no- Harry would be the answer to making Louis' life whole again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! So I think I failed at the weekly update thing but I only missed the deadline by two days so I apologize :( but anyway here's chapter 23 which is more focused on Riley because he's been a mysterious little charcter for a bit. So I hope you enjoy it and I'll try to be better with the updates :) but school started so I need to focus on that before this obviously. Anyway, enjoy and leave comments/kudos !

It felt like a waiting game when it really shouldn't have. A whole week went by and not once did any drama or fighting break out. Zayn stayed completely off the radar besides Riley occasionally speaking of him. Louis usually pretended to sound interested as he was still learning to get over his best friend. He had Harry though and Harry was an excellent medication for a heart break. Not that Louis wasn't interested in the whole Riley-Zayn relationship because it was peculiar how open Riley turned when faced with Zayn. Which oddly reminded him of how open he got with Harry on their first few days together. The odds of that though were probably as high as hitting the lottery. Although, Louis was sure he hit the lottery and Harry was the grand prize. So the odds of Zayn and Riley ending up matched were like hitting the lottery twice. Or more like being struck by lightening because Riley was Louis' friend which meant if he were matched with Zayn then Zayn would be right back into his life. Therefore, the Lion King was head on with the circle of life notion. 

He had been texting Niall on and off all week but it was mainly Louis gushing over Harry. He was the sweetest and quirkiest person he's ever met. Two cups of coffee every morning, one at 6 then one at 8. After that only water. He chews on the insides of his cheeks when he's thinking or stressed. Louis hasn't figured that bit out yet. He refuses to wear socks that are of any color but black or white. He has been using the same cologne for 9 years. He has a habit of playing with his lips with his fingers which is somehow endearing to Louis but also so fucking hot. It's either the left side of the bed or no side all. He also likes to be the little spoon sometimes which reminds Louis of a big dog trying to be a lap dog. Louis holds on as best as he can though. He holds every door for Louis, pulls out every chair, guides him through halls with his hand on Louis' lower back. The list goes on and on and on and Louis day dreams about it every day. He sits in Harry'a office chair waiting for him to return from teaching so they can kiss each other and throw paper balls at one another, so they can mess up Harry's desk with sex only to fix it then mess it up again. Louis didn't want the drama anymore. He didn't like his life feeling like a soap opera. He knew he couldn't avoid drama completely but he could avoid it enough not to have it encompass his entire life. He learned that the hard way and never wanted to go back to it. 

"I'm hungry," Riley pouted and leaned back in his desk chair. Harry has also let Louis hang out with Riley more because relationships outside of the match are healthy for the head and heart. And despite Riley's mysterious drawings claimed by Harry he's a sweet, understanding kid. 

"We could go get lunch," Louis suggested as he sat up on the bed. His portrait still hanging on the wall. It made him feel special even if he was Riley's only friend. "I've been wanting a turkey wrap all week," he grinned and slid down off the bed. He bent down to slide his shoes on as Riley stood up to do the same. He's been better lately. Less awkward and shy but Louis wants to take credit for that and not let Zayn have it. 

"I think I'm going to get pizza."

"You always get pizza," Louis laughed and wrinkled his nose. Riley stuck his tongue out at him and they exited the room. The walk to the dining hall was short so they were filling their trays in no time. "How was your test yesterday?" Louis asked even though they had already previously texted about it. Riley usually was one to repeat stories anyway, it was cute. 

"I think I did okay," he shrugged and sipped his juice. "Some of the questions were hard but it was multiple choice so I guessed."

"I was always shit at test," Louis shook his head. "I got too anxious and worked up about them."

"Me too," Riley pouted. "I study but then I get the test and forget everything. I usually finish last."

"But you pass, I've seen your grades," Louis raised an eyebrow munching on his salad. He figured a salad would make his meal healthy even though the chocolate cupcake he got was contradicting it. Harry wants Louis to eat healthy but not too healthy. Just enough to keep colds away and keep his energy up. It has nothing to do with his weight. 

"Yeah," Riley nodded. Louis watched his friend carefully and narrowed his eyebrows. Riley had been acting mostly normal all day but at points Louis could tell something was off.

"You alright?" Louis frowned and leaned forward a bit so Riley wouldn't have to talk loud. He met his eyes and tilted his head. Something was definitely wrong. Riley nodded and looked back down at his food. His stuffed a few grapes into his mouth and Louis reached forward to touch his hand. "Riley you can talk to me," Louis whispered. 

"No I'm okay," Riley pulled his hand back and set his hands into his lap. Louis swore his voice cracked. He craned his neck to the side trying to see under Riley's eyelashes as his friend stared down at the tray. "Stop it," he hiccuped and Louis gulped. 

"Sorry," he mumbled and looked around then back to Riley. "Do you want to finish eating in your room?" 

"I'm okay," Riley said again which was a clear indication of not being okay. Everyone knew that. 

"Did I do something?"

"No," Riley answered quickly and sniffled. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "I have to go study, he blurted out then stood up. Louis sat up and narrowed his eyebrows. 

"It's Friday," Louis frowned. "But I could help you study if you want," he suggested and stood up, too. Neither of them had put a dent into their food.

"No," Riley shook his head. "Harry probably wants you back," his voice broke at that. Louis felt his heart twist as tears started rolling down Riley's cheeks. His friend spun around and quickly scurried to the dish racks to return his tray. Louis followed close behind. 

"Ri," Louis called following him outside. "Riley," he tried again. He huffed and jogged up beside him. "Are you jealous of Harry?" He asked as that was the only reasonable explanation he could think of. He never thought Riley actually liked him like that but he was closed off so it was hard to tell what his true feelings were.

"No," Riley sighed and wiped his red eyes. "I don't want to talk about it," he stuttered and began walking away again. 

"I'm you're friend you can talk to me," Louis frowned and caught up to him again. 

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"I don't need a reason," Riley pouted and walked away again. Louis stepped to follow but stopped himself. He felt defeated and he hated that feeling especially over someone like Riley. It wasn't that Riley was weak but he was never one to stand up for himself and now here he was basically telling Louis to screw off. It hurt him. He sighed and followed Riley's figure as it furthered in the distance until he dropped. Louis felt his stomach implode and he took of sprinting towards his friend. He noticed people looking and he was only slightly relieved that Riley wasn't passed out. 

"Riley," Louis breathed and touched his friends shoulder. He didn't pull away this time. His hand shook as Riley's shoulders did and he crawled around to kneel in front of him. His face red and soaked in tears. "Please talk to me, Ri," Louis begged and rubbed his hand up and down his arm. He glanced up at the people watching and shot them all a death glare praying they went away. 

Riley mumbled something through his sobs but Louis didn't catch one bit of it. Instead he got beside Riley and put his arm around his waist the Riley's arm over his shoulder. 

"Come on," Louis helped him up. Riley turned and clung onto Louis for dear life. "Let's go inside okay?" He whispered and rubbed his friend's back. After a good five minute hug Louis managed to half-carry Riley back to his room. Thank good for elevators. Riley threw himself into the bed and Louis removed his shoes for him. He didn't even know what to say because he didn't even know what was wrong. 

Louis: Riley's really upset and I'm scared and I have no idea how to help him :(

Louis texted Harry quickly then got a glass of water for Riley. That's what people do to calm each other down. A glass of water will cure all emotion, right? 

"I don't want that," Riley huffed and turned over in bed. Louis sighed and sipped from the cup himself before setting it down. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed Riley's back. 

"What do you want then?" Louis cooed. 

"Him." Louis narrowed his eyebrows and turned his head to face Riley's. 

"Hmm?" He hummed softly feeling like if he asked 'what' that would be too aggressive. 

"I want him and I can't have him," he hiccuped and pulled the blanket over his head. Louis frowned and bit his bottom lip. 

Harry: did you ask him what was wrong?

Louis: obviously...but now he says he wants him but can't have him. What does that even mean?

"Who can't you have?" Louis gulped. Zayn? Louis? He hated how closed off Riley was sometimes but he knew it wasn't something he could necessarily chance nor control. 

"Him!" Riley raised his voice. Louis winced and curled his fingers around the blanket over Riley's back.

"I-i don't know who him is," Louis whispered and felt Riley's back moving up and down in a irregular pattern as he cried. 

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters," Louis frowned. He shoved his phone into his pocket and shimmied down to lay beside Riley, even if he was on top of the blanket and Riley was below. "Pretend I'm you're sketchbook and you're the pencil. Let out all your thoughts okay? I won't say anything. I'll just listen yeah?" Louis waited for an answer but never got one. He sighed and felt Riley tug on the blanket in a gesture that meant he wanted Louis underneath with him. Louis shifted and after some pulling and tugging he was cuddled under the blankets with Riley. "Please talk to me, Ri," Louis frowned and scooted closer to his friend as the bed was small. Louis also knew cuddling helped him so he assumed it would help Riley. Once again he didn't get an answer so he hung his arm over Riley's hip. Most subs like to be petted so after five minutes Louis started rubbing Riley's stomach. He smiled softly when Riley scooted back into him. 

"You have soft hands," Riley mumbled then sniffled again. Louis chuckled and nodded. 

"Yeah they've always been like that," he admitted pushing up Riley's shirt a bit. He decided Riley would tell him on his own time about the mysterious 'him.' He didn't want to pester anymore and make Riley upset again. 

Louis continued to trace his fingers around Riley's belly button until he felt a pull on his stomach. He curled his fingers lightly against Riley's skin and bit his lip. He knew what the pull was from and he really didn't want to give into it. He started rubbing his hand again letting it travel up to Riley's chest then back down. Riley's heart beat sped up the moment Louis' hand travelled upwards then back down. Louis focused on pushing his Dom instincts away only giving him to petting Riley and not controlling him. He had Harry anyway. He just thought of Harry while rubbing Riley's chest and stomach. Harry's muscular chest and his perky nipples that were always hard. His slightly hairy area below how belly button that only appeared if he didn't shave a lot. The way Harry's v-line dipped into his pants like a perfect arrow leading to his cock. When was Harry not hard around Louis? He swore Harry was just permanently hard. Hard against his ass as he grinded their bodies together like they were one. His thick length twitching inside of Louis' mouth or around his hand begging to be inside of Louis' ass. 

"Louis," Harry gasped and Louis squeezed his hand around Harry's cock through his pants. His breathing heavy and shaky which was new. 

"Shhh," Louis hummed and nuzzled his face into Harry's neck. He rolled his hips against Harry's backside to get friction against his cock. 

"Louis," Harry said again and scooted away. Louis pushed his other hand against his chest to hold him back against him. Louis groaned and pushed Harry back into him further feeling his stomach twisting and heart racing from being so in control. He latched his teeth into Harry's skin and pressed his tongue against it. He narrowed his eyebrows and yanked away the moment he realized that wasn't Harry's skin. He pulled his hands back to himself and nearly threw himself off of the bed. Riley stared at him with scared, watery eyes. His breathing sounded like hyperventilating and he was visible shaking. 

"Why didn't you stop me?" Louis panicked and narrowed his eyebrows. He swore that was Harry. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He didn't do anything though. He just touched Riley and little bit and pecked his neck. That wasn't cheating. He didn't cheat again. God dammit his stupid Dom instincts got the best of him. 

"I-I," Riley stuttered and Louis clenched his jaw. "I didn't- I didn't want-"

"What? You didn't want me to stop? You know I have a Dom, Riley," Louis huffed and spun around. He bent down and slipped his shoes on hearing a soft whimper from behind him. 

"I didn't want you to hurt me for saying no," Riley choked out and Louis halted. He looked back and watched tears stream down Riley's face. 

"I wouldn't hurt you," Louis frowned and stood up. He slowly walked over to the bed and watched Riley scoot back against the wall. The blanket held up to his chin. "I would never."

"I-if-if you- if you want you can- you can continue what- what you were doing," Riley hiccuped. "I-I'll be quiet-I won't tell anyone," he sniffled and Louis narrowed his eyebrows further. 

"Riley." He reached out to touch Riley's hand but Riley yanked it away. Louis felt that in his heart and he glanced at Riley's eyes. They were wide and scared and all because of Louis. He triggered something. "I wouldn't hurt you," Louis repeated. "I would never. I got carried away and thought you were Harry and I'm sorry. I feel like shit for it but I wouldn't hurt you for stopping me. I actually would've rather had you stop me." It sounded so pathetic that Louis thought Riley was Harry even if it was for five minutes. He got so caught up in the moment and being a stupid Dom with a sub like Riley didn't help the cause. 

"I-I-I thought you- I thought you were- you- I thought you were going to be mad if I stopped you," Riley stuttered.

"I would never be mad at you for that. Why would you even think that?" Louis frowned and Riley glanced up to meet his eyes. Louis studied them and felt a pit form in his stomach. Riley would only think that if someone has actually got mad at him for saying no. Louis felt rage course through his veins. "Did Zayn do something to you?" He said lowly as he was on the verge of murder if Zayn did. 

"It wasn't him," Riley shook his head quickly and believable. Louis tensed up at the way the question was answered. If it wasn't Zayn then it was someone else. 

"Then who hurt you Riley? I'll kill him if he hurt you, I promise I won't let him hurt you again," Louis said as he was so mad. Riley doesn't deserve to be hurt for saying no. 

"My Dom," Riley whispered so softly Louis barely made it out. "But you can't kill him," Riley mumbled and Louis couldn't believe this. Riley has a Dom? Where was he? Why did he never talk about him? His Dom has been hurting him all this time and Louis hasn't figured it out? 

"Well we have to tell someone," Louis panicked trying to keep his calm. "They can put him in-"

"He's already dead," Riley whimpered then broke down into sobs. Louis' face softened but the feeling in his stomach intensified as he watched Riley lose himself. He lost himself when he lost his Dom. That's how Zayn explained it. Louis watched and tried reaching forward again but Riley curled away. He felt tears in his eyes at the thought of Riley loving someone who only ever hurt him. That would explain why he doesn't like Harry, why he asked about the bruises, why he thought Louis would hurt him for saying no. Even in an unhealthy relationship the sub and Dom still loved each other no matter how scared one was. It was a bond only broken by death. Riley loved the person that had hurt him the most and he was going to be damaged for a very long time- if not forever.


	24. Chapter 24

Louis sat in the bed as Riley went off to take a shower as Louis basically forced him to take one. It was to get himself calmed down and clean but to also give Louis some time to himself. 

Riley's Dom was dead and had sexually abused him. Louis couldn't wrap his head around that, well he could but he didn't want to. He didn't want to think of innocent, tiny Riley in any of those situations. 

Louis heard a phone vibrating and he searched under the sheets until he saw Riley's phone. 

Zayn. 

Louis gulped as he read the called ID then glanced at the door. Riley only got in a little while ago so he shouldn't be out. And Louis and Zayn are mutual friends with Riley so it won't be weird to answer. 

"Hello," Louis said first and he felt a knot growing in his stomach. Just the fact that he was talking to Zayn over a phone made it feel like cheating. 

"Erm- You sick Riley?" 

"No," Louis snapped. "Don't make fun of my voice like that." Louis couldn't help but defend himself. 

"Ahh." Zayn nodded and Louis could hear a faint smile in his voice. "Where's Ri?"

"I call him Ri," Louis pouted. "And he's in the shower."

"And you answered because?"

Louis paused and narrowed his eyebrows. Why did he answer? It's not like he's been missing Zayn. At least he hasn't missed him until now. Until hearing his voice. 

"Because I- because-"

"We had this discussion Louis." Zayn started. "I'm over you, you're over me. You can't keep running back to me. I don't want you."

Louis tensed up as he knew they were over each other and he knew they wouldn't ever be lovers again but maybe friends. Except here Zayn was saying he didn't want him. 

"I shouldn't have answered. Bye." Louis pressed end and tossed the phone down. He stared at it as he curled his fingers in frustration. Why the fuck did he answer the phone? To hear Zayn's voice? To try to rekindle a friendship that was past the point of a return?

Louis found his phone and read the text from Harry.

Harry: everything okay? You aren't in my office...

Louis frowned and pressed call leaning back on Riley's bad. He wasn't going to tell Harry about the little groping session he had with Riley and he definitely was not going to tell him about talking to Zayn. Even if it lasted thirty seconds. 

"I'm fine," Louis said when Harry picked up. "Do you think Riley could spend the night? He's not feeling well and I don't want to leave him alone."

"Is he going to get me sick?"

"No it's- I'll explain it later okay?" The line went silent for a bit as Harry was obviously thinking. 

"He doesn't like me I don't think he'll like being in my house."

"He has his reasons just- I'll tell you everything later okay?" 

"Fine fine fine," Harry sighed. "Be back at my office at 2."

"Alright," Louis glanced as the door opened and Riley scurried in with the towel around his waist. Louis felt his Dom instincts kick in and his mouth started to water. This is how it was with Niall. He just got urges that he couldn't help. It's how Harry must feel around him. 

"Louis? Lou?"

"Huh?" Louis looked down and bit his lip trying to think of something else.

"I asked you if Riley is riding home with us or does he have a car?"

"Oh um- I'll ask him in a minute." Louis glanced up again seeing Riley's bony shoulders and slim waist. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

"Are you sure you're alright?" 

"Yes I'm fine," Louis blurted out. "2 o'clock, your office, and I'll text you about Riley later." Louis hung up and knew he'd be heavily questioned if not spanked for that. 

"What about me?" Riley glanced up and wiped his eyes. They were still blood shot but not as bad as before. He seemed better at least on the outside. 

"Do you want to spend the night at my place? We could watch movies and play video games," Louis asked and kept his eyes above Riley's waist. 

"Um I don't- I don't know." He shifted on his feet and adjusted his towel. 

"Please? It'll be fun and Harry won't bother us if you-"

"It's- it's not Harry that-" Riley started and Louis narrowed his eyebrows as he knew where the rest of the sentence was going. 

"Oh," Louis frowned feeling multiple punches to his stomach. "Earlier wasn't- I wasn't trying to scare you. I really didn't have control and I wasn't thinking." Louis searched Riley's eyes then looked down as he couldn't take the guilt. He just fucks up everything. "Zayn called," he sighed. "You could probably hang out with him."

Riley nodded and Louis slid off the bed. He looked up at Riley then quickly looked away to get his shoes on. 

"Just- I don't want to by yourself okay?" Louis stood up as he knows Riley isn't in the best mental state so being with somebody would help. Riley nodded again and shuffled away from Louis as Louis approached the door. 

Louis didn't feel like crying, he just felt a heavy weight in his stomach. He fucked up with Zayn, with Niall, with Liam, with Riley, with Harry, with himself. He wondered off campus and found a bench to sit on. It was only twelve so he had time until he had to be back to Harry's office. If he even wanted to be back. What was the point in going back if he was just going to fuck up again? Sure, Harry told him they could work things out and really love one another but why even try if Louis was just gonna fuck it up somehow? He doesn't even deserve to have a Dom. He doesn't deserve to have anyone. 

Harry's name flashed on the screen and Louis just watched it ring as he sat on the bus. He didn't really know where he was going. It was interesting to watch who got on and who got off. Mainly college kids and older people, professors here and there. 

"Are you going to answer that?" A stranger glanced down at Louis' phone then back up to Louis. 

"No."

"Why?" The guy asked. "Ex or something?" 

"No."

"Hmm got an attitude alright." He turned away and Louis glanced up reading the back of his shirt. 

"You're in a frat?" 

"Yeah why?" The guy turned around again.

~

"Let's go!!!" 

"Ayyyyyy!!!!"

"More more more!!!"

Louis couldn't recall what happened earlier today. He really couldn't. He just knew he was on maybe his twelfth or maybe twentieth shot. The people didn't even look like people anymore. Just blurs of color and he swore he could walk straight until he would slam into someone or a wall. 

"You need- stop," a girl's voice whispered to him and tugged on his arm. He could only make out bits and pieces of what she was saying. "Hey- alright?"

Louis glanced at her and narrowed his eyebrows. Why was she holding his arm? Who was she? 

"I sl'okay you's done be her," he slurred and she swatted away the boys who were encouraging him. 

"What is- hey look- me." The girl grabbed his sweaty face and he tried focusing his vision on her. "Your name."

"Fr-I know- my-me name."

"Yes your name." She nodded and he just stared at her counting the numbers of eyes on her face. "I'm taking you to the hospital." She grabbed his arm and he dug his feet into the ground.

"Arry," he blurted out and she turned around. 

"Harry? Your name is Harry?" She asked and he nodded with a lop-sided smile. "Okay Harry," she said and put his arm over her shoulder. "I'm Taylor can you tell me your last name?"

"Huh?" Louis turned his head and felt his brain beat against his skull. 

"Last name?" She repeated and he didn't feel his legs as he stumbled along beside her. "Hey," she said and stopped walking. "Hey look at me." She grabbed his face again. Was he drowning? He wished he was. Her hands were quite soft and he reached up gently holding them to her face. "I need help!" She yelled and he reached out squeezing her nose softly. He could feel a black haze caving in around her as he played with her nose then her hair. "Harry? Stay awake okay? Harry!?" She yelled and he widened his eyes. Harry.... 

"Where'z Arry?" Louis mumbled and he could feel hands guiding him to the couch. 

"You're Harry," Taylor said and he leaned into her. 

"No." He narrowed his eyebrows and went to stand up but the mysterious hands from somewhere were holding him down. 

"You're not Harry?" She asked him and pushed his hair off of his forehead. She said something to someone else but he didn't catch it. 

"I-i need- I needs him." He said then held his hand to his forehead as it was about ready to explode. "S'need Harry," he pouted and felt the urge to cry all of a sudden. His lips felt heavy and he started sobbing until Taylor was hugging him. 

"We'll find him for you okay?" She whispered and rubbed his back. "But I need you to st- awake- can- do- me?"

Louis closed his eyes as he cried and started to only hear snippets of her voice. Where was he? How did he even get here? Was he even drunk or drugged or maybe he was both? Maybe he was dying. 

"Did someone call 911?" Taylor yelled and Louis slouched against her. "Hey, wake up, no no no." She tilted his face up and he blinked at her a few times. "You gotta- wake-"

" 'M dying?" He frowned with stains of tears on his face. 

"No- just really- that's all."

Louis nodded and took that as a safety to close his eyes. He felt her shake him one last time and grab his face but everything had already gone black.


	25. Chapter 25

Louis' eyes opened to a bright white overheard light and he narrowed his eyebrows quickly looking away. His gaze fell onto the bed side table with pills and water. The blanket draped over him was blue and actually very soft. All the walls were white but there was enough wires and monitors to act as distractions. He moved his fingers feeling the needle of the IV pull against his vein. He's always hated the thought of IVs, they make him sick. 

His vision was slightly dazed as his head decided to beat on itself with a hammer. He was careful not to make any sudden movements either. The irrational fear of accidently ripping his IV out lingered in the back of his mind. 

Nothing about last night was coming to him and that genuinely worried him. He knows it started on a bus then he hung out at the frat until people started to show up. He had turned his phone off out of impulse to ignore Harry then everything went down hill from there. 

"Oh you're awake." Louis glanced up as he didn't notice the door open. A strawberry blind shuffled in looking like a runway model in ripped jeans and a flannel. She wasn't the nurse was she? "How are you feeling?" She asked and glanced at the monitors before looking back to him. 

"Um." He couldn't help but stare as he felt like he should've know who she was. "I'm okay," he nodded but even that gave him a headache. 

"That's good," she smiled and Louis noticed her dimples. Harry has dimples. Where was he? Why wasn't Harry with him? What if he left him? He sat up in a panic and the girl gently nudged him back down. "What's wrong?" She frowned. He glanced at her then back down at his own hands. 

"Do you-Harry? Did you see a-he's tall with green eyes and brown curly hair?" Louis explained. He ditched him. Louis ditched him to go drown in alcohol. He wouldn't be surprised if Harry left him. Went and got their test changed or something. 

"Um no but I think they may have called him." Louis' heart clenched as he knows he's been in the hospital all night and day so why wasn't Harry here. 

"And?"

"I'm not sure. I could get a nurse for you," she said and he nodded. She stood up and Louis pursed his lips trying to figure out who she was. 

"What's your name?" Louis tilted his head and frowned. 

"Oh." She sounded hurt. "Taylor, I kind of- you were quite drunk last night so I got you here." The explanation was brief but he took it. She did look kind of familiar. 

"Thank you." Louis smiled and slouched back down as she left the room. Maybe ten minutes passed before a nurse walked in. 

"Hi Mr. Tomlinson," she said without making eye contact or sounding very sincere. He sat up a bit and narrowed his eyebrows. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better." He said as he assumed last night was the lowest point in his life so he had to be feeling better than that. 

"Very good," she nodded and he kept an eye on her. "Too much partying gets the best of us hmm?" 

"Yeah," he hummed then narrowed his eyebrows when she stopped at the side of his bed. 

"The nice girl, Taylor, told me you were asking about a certain someone named Harry, right?" She asked and Louis felt like he was on an episode of Criminal Minds.

"Yeah, Harry Styles," he continued for her. "He's my Dom." Louis bit his lip as her face kind of lit up in a dark way that made Louis regret speaking up. 

"That's odd."

"Why?" He asked too quickly. 

"Your blood type came up as Dom when we ran it through," she said slowly and Louis felt ready to vomit. Hadn't the doctor changed it? He changed his name in the system, he watched him do it. Except if they ran a blood test then he would've come up as Dom and that's something he can't change. 

"So?" Louis pouted and his hands were gripping the hospital gown. 

"So when we looked up if you had a match it was odd that another Dom came up. Quite strange if you ask me."

"Why's it matter?" Louis snapped as he didn't see the point in pestering him. It was ridicules.

"Have you ever heard of a Dom on Dom match Mr. Tomlinson?" She leaned forward a bit. 

"Yes." He gritted his teeth. 

"Who?"

"Harry Styles and me. It's real, it can happen, it happened for us and you can even check the system we matched together. We shouldn't have switched my status but-" Her eyes widened and he clamped his mouth shut. 

"You switched your status?" She asked and he sank down into the bed. 

"No," he squeaked. "Nothing illegal is- I can switch it back. We were matched together. It happened twice."

"So you're telling me that two Dom's were matched together in the system and it wasn't a glitch?"

"I don't know how it happened but it did okay? I bet it happens all the time but no one speaks up about it."

"That's cause it's illegal." She stood up and Louis wanted to stand too but he was sore all over. 

"You're just a nurse, what do you know?" He spit then glanced at the door spotting a pair of blue eyes and blonde hair. A hand pulled Niall back by his shoulder and Louis tried to see more. 

"Just trying to-"

"Stop talking," Zayn walked in and glared at the nurse. God why couldn't it be Harry? Niall shuffled in behind Zayn and Liam followed. Riley idled by the door. Zayn said something to the nurse and she walked out before he got Riley inside. 

"Hi," Niall came up to him and started poking at his IV. 

"Stop that hurts," Louis pouted and his attention went right to Zayn. 

"Where's Harry? And why was I just questioned like I murdered someone?" Louis wanted to choke Zayn for no apparent reason. 

Zayn glanced at Niall then at Liam and Riley. And not the good kind of glance. The kind of glance that means everything you didn't want to happen is probably about to happen. 

"If you promise not to hit me will you let me sit down?" Zayn eased himself onto the edge of the bed. Louis was a millimeter away from bashing his head in. He was so mad and confused and scared he needed to just let his anger out. Riley and Niall were out of the picture and he was still scared of Liam so that left Zayn. 

"What?" Louis pouted. He flicked his eyes over to Niall who had moved to be with Liam while Riley stood by the door. "Why are you all here and not Harry?"

"Because you had Niall in your emergency contacts but we were all together anyway," Zayn tried explaining in his calm voice. 

"Well did they call Harry? He's my Dom they're required to call him." Louis said and Zayn kind of just stared at him as if his tongue had gone missing. Louis took deep breaths but they slowed as the elephant in the room was clearly visible to everyone except Louis. "Zayn." Louis snapped and punched his arm. 

"Um-okay well," Zayn started and Louis clenched his jaw.

"Niall," Louis switched his attention to his friend. Niall quickly walked over and took Louis' hand. "Tell me what's wrong because Zayn's being an ass about it."

"It's hard for me to tell you Louis," Zayn snapped and Louis was on the verge of murder. 

"Just whisper it to me," Louis frowned and Niall looked around the room for approval. He leaned down and Louis could feel his hand being squeezed until it could no longer breath. 

"They found out about you and Harry being Dom on Dom so as of now- um- well- they're doing more investigation but you won't be able to see Harry until it's resolved." Niall pulled away and Louis just stared at him. Something in him exploded and he immediately turned to Zayn. 

"This is your fault!" Louis cried and nearly flew out of the bed to tackle Zayn onto the floor. Luckily, Niall grabbed him before any of his IVs could rip out.

"My fault?! Are you insane? You got yourself in here not me! You got drunk, you and Harry switched your status, this was you and Harry. Not me. For once it has nothing to do with me and you still blame me. If anything you should be thanking me because here I am with all your friends or kind of friends! I really thought we moved on from this Louis but you're still as immature-"

"Stop it!" Riley yelled and everyone looked over at him. Louis didn't know he was crying until he wiped his cheeks. How embarrassing. Niall was cowered behind Liam and Riley looked frustrated as hell. "Just stop..." He breathed out and Louis wiped his eyes again. 

Zayn was watching Riley and Louis was watching Zayn. His face was softer now and he looked genuinely hurt by something. Riley maybe? 

"At least you still have him," Riley mumbled and Louis looked down. He heard Zayn's footsteps leave to get to Riley and he felt sick. Very sick. Everything from last night and then the emotions of today mixing in. 

He laid his head back and stared at the ceiling. How long would this investigation take? There wasn't even anything to investigate. The system matched them together, that's that. It wasn't a glitch. Where was Harry now? Was he okay? He was probably worried sick. For fucks sake Louis is worried sick. He could be in a jail cell for all he knows. 

Louis felt a soft tug on his gown and he looked down noticing Niall was the only one left in the room. 

"Can I join you?" Niall patted the bed and Louis nodded. He scooted over a bit and allowed Niall up to sit next to him. They sat in silence a bit as Niall examined Louis' IV like it was the strangest treasure in the world. "Liam's been getting better," he started. 

"Has he?" Louis asked knowing Niall was going to start off topic before he got around to what he really wanted to say. 

"Yeah, he hardly gets angry anymore. He even told me how bad he feels about what he did to you and Harry. Anger issues got the best of him but he's better now," Niall set Louis' hand down then glanced at him. 

"I may have anger issues," Louis huffed with a tiny smile. 

"Only with Zayn." Niall looked down when he said it. "Why is that?"

"I don't know."

"You do know." Niall poked Louis' cheek to get him to look at him. "You always blame him and always yell at him. I thought you guys worked things out?"

"We did, kind of, I don't know," Louis shrugged. 

"You still love him."

"Shut up," Louis snapped immediately and kept his eyes far from Niall. 

"It's alright if you do." Niall frowned and he was trying to hold Louis' hand but Louis wasn't having it. "If you admit it to yourself it'll make things easier. You'll be able to move on faster."

"No I won't," Louis grumbled. 

"You aren't giving your self the chance to. You- I know you still love him because you denied it so quickly. You get mad when you see him because you're mad at the feelings you have for him when you know they shouldn't be there."

"Since when were you Oprah?" Louis pouted and loosened his fingers to Niall could hold them. 

"Since my best friend has been going through hell," Niall rested his head on Louis' shoulder. "Listen, I know I shouldn't be talking about heart break because I've never had it but I think if you- I think admitting it rather than pushing it away will help. If you just let it all out."

"And do what with it? Go up to Zayn and tell him I love him?"

"Just- just tell me then," Niall shrugged. "You won't see Harry for a bit but I know the investigation will work in your favor so why not take the time to fix things? Of course Zayn had a piece of your heart and he always will but Harry is yours. You need to start acting like it. You need to let go of Zayn so you can grab onto Harry."

"Did you prepare this speech?"

"I'm being serious. Just admit it to yourself and then go from there. The match isn't wrong and you know Harry is going to be yours. Your going to love Harry way more than you love Zayn if you just let yourself. Zayn is going to be around for a while but he's gonna have a new match soon. He told me he's ready to move on. So I don't want him to move on while you're still grasping for him."

"I don't want to say it," Louis frowned and Niall's thumb swiped across his cheek. 

"You're thinking it though," Niall raised his eyebrow. 

"Stop pestering me," Louis snorted and glanced at Niall out of the corner of his eye. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. 

Of course he knows Harry is his. Harry will always be his. He gets the butterflies and the chills and the fast heart beat. He knows Harry is good for him he's everything he's ever wanted. But then there's Zayn who Louis can't figure out. He can't figure out why he loves him still. Of course they kind of dated for almost two years but he shouldn't still be attracted to him. Then again he isn't really attracted to him as much as he is to Harry. He's attracted to the memories. To the late nights, the laughs, the cuddles, the kisses, the inside jokes. He doesn't like the idea of having to start all over with Harry. While he was with Zayn something inside of him always prayed that he would be matched with him. It was a far fetched dream but it felt right. Except not it feels wrong and Harry feels right. However, every memory with Zayn eats at Louis and makes him upset and mad that they couldn't be. They'd be stuck at friends and he was fine with that but the back of his mind wanted more. It used to want more. He used to want Zayn. He doesn't want him anymore but he can't figure out how to let go. 

"Will saying it really help?" Louis sniffled and glanced at Niall. "Or did you get this bit from a movie?"

"Either way movie scripts are usually written for accurately anyway," Niall smiled and Louis punched his arm. He glanced at the door then down at his hands taking a deep breath. 

"Are you sure?"

"Just say that you love him already," Niall whined and Louis narrowed his eyebrows. He could feel his mouth wanting to move but it didn't. He didn't want to say it. He didn't need to say that he loved Zayn because he didn't. That was the then. This is now. 

"I love Harry Styles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to start getting better between everyone now I promise


	26. Author's Note

Ahhh I haven't updated in like two months!! I feel so so bad but I'm in school and finals are coming up but I promise I'll start updating regularly when summer rolls around which mid-May. So if you all lovely people could just hold tight until then I promise to deliver more chapters!! Thank you for everyone whose been reading it so far though it means a lot. Also when summer comes I'm hoping to be more focused on the story rather than school work so the plot and characters will develop more and make more sense etc... I'm sorry for falling off the deep end and leaving you all without updates but more chapters are to come soon!! Love you all!!!


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